PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2815, 26 February 1908, Page 5

PASSING NOTES.

(Fiom Saturdays Daily Times.) The question of the Free Public Library approaches that stage in which everyone shows symptoms of getting thoroughly out of temper with everyone else. That being so, I would suggest that the aid of the Prime Ministerfresh from his Denniaton triumphs, gained, to use his own words, "without any fuss " — should be invoked to arbitrate between the contending factions. It may be safely assumed, however, that one of the proposed schemes would be rejected by Sir Joseph instanter — that of returning Mr Carnegie his money. The Prime Minister's long training in colonial finance will naturally render him" averse to any proposal for exporting money from tne colony. We are the creatures of habit, and the habit of colonial statesmen is to concentrate their financial I genius on schemes for importing, rather I than exporting, "the needful." In any case he would have a somewhat knotty problem to solve. The city, having acquired with pleasant ease one of those free public libraries which may be termed Millionaire Carnegie's "specialty," is now intent on the much more difficult problem of acquiring (al«o 'ree of cost) the books and furnishings, without which the building seems somewhat useless. It has bsen asserted that the property of the Athenaeum belongs in point of law to the city. The committee of the institution, however, "sits tight," demonstrating with dignity and comfort the strength of a certain venerable maxim that " possession is nine points of the law." Unable to construct a scheme whereby the Carnegie gift could be assimilated in the same way as the Chancellor of the University wished to take the O'Sullivan bequest, the Mayor seems to contemplate the severe step of legislating the Athenseum out of existence. Considering the I prevalence of that democratic sentiment which allows no man to possess any personal property except his debts — of which no one ever wants to deprive him, — this might be a popular solution of the difficulty. Personally, I cannot help hoping that Mr Carnegie is too busy with newer benefactions to read the details of how, having led his gift horse home, we " look him in the mouth."

It was " more in sorrow than in nnaer " that I singled out a little paragraph from that journalistic scrap-heap variously known as "News, Gossip, and Ads." or "Brevities."' The thing was biief, but long enough to prove that the wisdom of that copybook adage of our youth, "Delays are dangerous," has lost none of its virility. '" In Denver,"' so runs the paragraph', "a law has been passed ombling the police to photograph every 'drank' as soon as arrested. The impression made on the prisoner when sober by the portrait of himself when drunk is proving most salutary." Now there is a golden opportunity for the Experimental Legislative Farm lost! Delays are not only dangeious, but fatal. Here is the crude expression of the Great Idea which on October 26 I cave (through the medium of "Passing Notes'") to the astonished Dominion. Stranzelv enough, I was not asked by a grateful Government to draw lip a workable scheme for thp carrying out of my theory for permitting every inobriale (habitual or otherwise) the privilege of skeins; himself as others see him, a boon hitherto conferred only on his immediate relatives or the official gentlemen iii bint who " move him on '" to the unsolicited comforts of a temporary home at his Majesty's expense. I was not even approached by the temperance societies with the respectful thanks which certainly were mv due. Therefore, it is with the sentiment of the slighted inventor that I wash my hands of the whole affaircabinets, enlargements*, penitence, and leformation, and I am glad that Denver instead of the Dominion leads the van in the aesthetic treatment of the drunk — casual and habitual. As to the delicate seclusion of Pakatoa Island — by the way, why is it now referred to as " Bell's " 1-~-

I observe that the Prime Minister Las already been heckled on the subject of labour conditions in even thie virtuous retreat. There ie to be no competition with the shore : even the fact thaf " something may be done with poultry " shall not lead to any infringement of ike lights of protected labour; indeed, it is doubtful whether even the questionable excitement of egg-laying competitions Mill be permitted to the Pakatoa hens! This sort of productive enthusiasm might easily lead to more eggs being laid than could be consumed by the inmates. Then (here is also the '"soaked" fish to consider. Soaked is near enough to "smoked" for all ordinary purposes, no doubt, but it Mas not without cause that the phrase " printer's devil " was added to our everyday needs.

Always with the critical, but withal friendly, eye on the Labour party in New Zealand, I notice that it is developing a distinct sense of humour — one, too, of a keenly ironical character. I admit that never, in my wildest speculations on the future of the party, did I dream that humour would form one of its strong points. At best I might have expected to find it evolving some shadowy reproduction of that grim and savage humour that was manifested by the " Sanscullotes " of the French Revolution. But that our Labour paity has attained a type of humour surh as is shown in this week's telegrams marks the most hopeful feature I have- yet 6een in the movement. Speaking broadly, I should say that a distinctive sense of humour might be more efficacious in binding the modern political party together than either formal pledges or fearsome oaths. Cumbrous paraphernalia these last, somewhat the worse for wear; whereas there is in humour a natural bond, undisputed, elastic.' Some such sense as this, it may be, that keeps the English Tories prone to unite and reunite like beads of mercury, in spite of oft-repeated severance; though one may admit they don't often enjoy such a humourous bond of union as this — The Auckland Trades and Labour Council also decided to ask the Prime Minister if he intends doing anything \o lessen the cost of living by Tegulating the export of butter, meat, etc. Unfortunate Prime Minister ! Many a ' tangled skein has Labour presented, with \ engaging candour, for your unravelling, many a tight corner boxed you in, but each and every task was surely child's play to this! Was ever humour so broad and yet so delicate as this: "to lessen the cost ( of living by regulating the export of butter, meat," etc. ? Which shall we admire mo 6t — the simplicity of the request or the stupendous faith which credits its idol with " the power to remove mountains"? Going on these lines, it seems as though "God's own country" will in years to come narrow down into an island Garden of Eden, with the Labour party as the angel of the naming sword keeping watch and ward that neither men nor manufactures may come in, or — and this would naturally be special sentry duty — nothing may go out, not even meat or bread.

The idea of a young country, with a large annual foreign interest bill, which can only be paid for in butter and meat, calmly proposing to keep these within its borders, until everyone has had their fill at " a fair price," is the most extravagant that ever possessed the mind of man. Moreover, who can say what is a fair price? A Sphinx-like riddle, which may be answered in impromptu fashion by "Depends upon ■who's the seller." For example, as I have already indicated, there are ructions between Labour and Salvation, whereas, by all the laws of fitness and propriety, the two 6hould go hand in hand — but not when they go a-fishing evidently! "Labour is prayer," said the monks of old, but there may have been a special rendering for Thursday nights, or when the catch of fish was poor. At anyrate, ihe Labour advocates of " cheap meat and butter " show no desire to include cheap fish as a means of " lessening the cost of living." The economics of the Labour party remain as great a mystery to me as they are, I do honestly believe, to the members themselves. But W that go. The vital point about the whole concern is: for once in a while the council met in the Salvation Army officer a man of more worth than it encounters in the crowd of polite politicians who have their own reasons for temporising with its absurd demands. Xo full-fledged field-marshal could have spoken more to (he point than did the gallant Major when he replied to the council's objection to cheap fish. One speaker, wounded in his tenderrst faelinas apparently, described the Major's lettei a 6 "insolent."' Buf I say, "Bravo the Major ; may his militant shadow never be less, and may he continue to provide cheap fish !" A few more home truths like his emphatic letter would do the Labour party more £rood than all the smooihspeaking of the politicians \iho seek to persuade them that "All is qukt in the Shipka Pass."

" Government ailv-ertisiner. — Supervisor appointed," is a delightfull}' suggestive headline. On the all-important question of the- adequate advertisement of the Dominion there is much diversity of opinion. Some people think that it is alrpadv too much adveitised, and that, instead of compiling new "ads.," it would be wiser, to say nothing of being more honest, to \ivoup to the old ones. Others aaain — agieeing with the wjiter who said that if yon want to imuress the most ordinaiv truth upon the public you must "first tell them what you are <roing to do. then toll them that jou are doing it, and finally infomi them that you have done it" — consider that we cannot advertise. too much. This section of the public goes on the rather lisky theory of " first catch your r-enuta-tion, and then see what you can do to keep up with it."' It is really all a matter of opinion. Personally, with that combination of thrift and mfriottem which is

peculiarly my own, I was glad to gee lasS year that America, was advertising us more aitfully than , we could advertise ourselves. To come in at the end of a rattling good 1 advertieement for the Vancouver route is better than not coming in at all, I take it, I especially when America pays the bill. It would be met 2 absurdity to object to someone else blowing our trumpet for us, especially when the someone in question has the lung-power of America! There are, however, email overt confidences lurking in the announcement concerning the " supeVvisor " which are suggestive; as, for example, the refeience to "the large sum which is being spent by this country in advertising," and the soothing, but strictly non-committal, statement that " it is hoped that in this way " (the '".ay of the supervisor) " considerable economy will be effected." Excellent! How accurately the Government has gauged the height nnd the depth of our gullibility, and with what magnificent assurance it offers once more the same old gilt-edged fiction, bound in — imitation econonvy! -But as the methods by which the newest barnacle on the ship of State trill bring down the expenses sufficiently to admit of his own ealary being added, and " considerable economy " still be effected, are not specified, how about some suggestions? Bismarck indulged in a grim boast that he deceived the whole world bj- telling the truth. How would it do for the supeivisor to revolutionise the existing ordeT and create an undoubted sensation among the world's tourists by the simple expedient of telling the truth? Granting that only half of them were deceived, Me should stand to win some hundreds of thousands — honestly. Meantime. I vould direct the attention of the new official of the new Dominion to a new Book, which cannot fail to be of interest to him and to ids chicf — who, one may safely assume, will be Minister Donne, — " Theory and Practice of Advertising." Here our fiiend will find " carefully and thoroughly explained the principles of psychology in their relation to successful adveitising." It is certainly imperative that if we /are to inaugurate one more "economy." it must be on thoroughly up-to-date lines. Our man must have a thorough knowledge of psj'chology, which, after all, is nothing but a " stubborn and sytenintio attempt to understand and exp'flin the workings of the minds of people," must imbibe from the author " not crude ideas of how to Teach the public, bivt leaults of scientific, investigations into various phenomena relating to the subject, exactly the attention value of different colours and of different types, the psychological value of the return coupon, and so on. There mu6t be nothing of thi6 etyle about his minor quips and querks : The appeal of the proprietors of » drinking saloon in Los Angelos: — "If your wife drives you to th-ink tlii* is the place to get it. Step right in." It is fatal to impart a common tone into what we now know as a psychological art ; therefore, this kind of jocularity also ia barred : Ordinary ever day. Special ordinary on Sundays. A wealth of imagination and realism, however, have been 60 happily blended in the | following American -effort that one might almost consider it as embodying the principles of psychology : ! In the streets of New York a short i time ago was a small procession made up thus: In front stalked a gigantic wooden bottle labelled " Stagg's Columbia B«lish," over which floated a banner with the words, " I lead the way." Close behind followed an enormous cruet-stand on •wheels, with four cruets, of which one was empty; while far in the rear panted two small boys in diminutive bottles, labelled '• Other people's sauce— we can't catch up." As to the last, it eeems at once too expensive and infrequent for the needs of the supervisor : A New Yoik hattei by offering to pay 125 dollars to the twclow of a man condemned to death, secxired a startling adveitisemcnt for his wares from the- foot of the gallows. When the doomed man was standing on the trap he begged permission to speak a few f?rewell woids. Pel mission was granted, and in a loud, fiim voice he proceeded' "All I have to say is thai the best two-dollar hat in America can be obtained cf Mr , hatter, Xo. — tlrcet " A moment later he was in eternity!

For some time pa^t it ha=. been repr©senlcd to the police that hop ale. manufactured and pold in the city and suburbs, wa» of an intoxicating nature. Recently the police obtained samples of the beverage, winch were submitted to Protestor Black for analj-i". The results of thp analyse? show that the ale does not contain proof spirits bojond 2.85 per cent., whereas 3 per cent. i«. allowed by the Beer Duty Act Amendment Act of last session. " You have got one of the grandest countiie<s that God has gi\en to a people, and i with proper legislation and with proper men to control and guide you, you ought to : be one of the mightiest nations on the face of the eaith," was the emphatia declaration of Commissioner M'Kie at the Sahat : on Army Barracks on the 18th, on the occasion of hi 6 farewell address. Xorth Canterbury station-owners are finding tho motoi car a ucaful adjunct to the %. Mucles on thpir stations, and several pokes' cars that enable them to cover a great C\tcnt of country in much less time than they could accomplish by any other means. Two well-known Amuri stationowncis weie recently whirled from Christchurch to their homes in three hours and a-half, a T d in that time ccn ered a distance that in ll ; -60, when they originally went to the district, took them seven days to get over by means of drays, at a time when the only ronds were the ruts made by drays that had igoae over the country before theixu