WHERE PAPA COMES IN.

Otago Witness, Issue 2813, 12 February 1908, Page 75

WHERE PAPA COMES IN.

The dutiful daughter of the past, when a young man popped the question, blushed and answered, "Ask papa!" But the rising generation of girls do notdream of consulting their parents in the choice of a husband. The stern father of bygone novelettes, who made trouble of the "deepest dungeon," bread-and-water type, when a daughter demurred at a rich seventy-year-old suitor of his own selection, is as extinct as the dodo. Modern parents may venture (says Annesley Kenealy in a London weekly) a mild protest against a prospective son-in-law, but that awful "Ask papa!" which used to strike terror into two trembling young hearts has become a mere formula, Hke nodding a "How do you do?" to % passing acquaintance. The twentieth-century girl plays the game of courtship on her own responsibility. Papa may, in a sense, act as referee and pronounce " goal " when the proposal is scored and the engagement ring already ordered ; but if his decision does not fit in with that of the young lady most interested she assumes a sporting and independent attitude as to the superfluousness of a father's blessing. "You must please yourself, dear," says the well-trained meek parent when a' daughter announces her intention to marry a man of whom the family disapproves. Fifty years ago she would have teen locked in her bedroom until she "came to heT senses," which meant in reality until her " senses " agreed with those of her father. Elopements are extinct. It is no longer necessary to " ask papa." Therefore, it is no longer necessary to run away. Moreover, many a modern father offers to pay a salary — that is to say, he suggests an allowance to a, son-in-law who takes his daughter without so much as a preliminary "by your leave." Young men used to dread that interview "in the study" when searching and awkward questions were put by a hardeyed, businesslike parent as to ways and means for the support of a wife. ,

Nowadays the cross-examination is conducted with amiable leniency by a papa whose consent was not even asked. The obdurate and flinty-hearted father who dragged a weeping daughter from the arms of an adoring and handsome ineligible, and forced her to the altai to marry the

man of his choice, flourished for many centuries and was a living reality 60 or 70 years ago. Why, and how did he disappear so suddenly off the face of the family life? And "r-e marriages more or less happy since the fashion to " ask j papa" went out? Continental parents still exercise the prerogative of the Middle Ages, and entirely control the matrimonial ' affairs of both sons and daughters. And the marriages of all gh-ls under the sun, save those of the up-to-date Englishspeaking races, are arranged for them by their parents. , Throughout the East papa not only has to be asked, but he takes good care to claim a substantial commission on the courtship and marriage of each of his daughters. But the British girl follows her own sweet will in the matter of suitors. She has her latchkey and the lover of her choice. Mamma sometimes has a small say in the final selection of a sweetheart, but poor papa is quite out of it. The engagement is announced, the banns published, the wedding cards sent

out. He conducts the bride to the altai and gives her away. But somehow everybody forgets to "ask papa" how he' feeii about it. I