PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 1819, 1 October 1886, Page 21

PASSING NOTES.

When Mr Hutchison " came out " for Dunedin Central, his friend Mr Bracken promised " not to stand in his way." This magnanimity in Bracken was associated with the conviction that he had no chance o£ his own. Later, when it began to dawn on Bracken that he might have a chance of his own, he announced with the same magnanimity that he would come out if Hutchison retired ; whereupon Hutchison, not to be outdone in magnanimity, said that he would retire if Bracken came out. The result of this chivalrous contest in magnanimity is that Bracken has come out, though Hutchison has not retired, that consequently Bracken finds Hutchison "little minded and ungenerous," whilst Hutchison accuses Bracken of perfidy and tergiversation, and that the one is threatening "revelations" which the other defies — "even though he should publish my confidential letters !" A pretty pair,— and a pretty quarrel ! A charming situation also for Dunedin Central, reduced to choosing, as it would seem, between two men of whom it would be hard to say which has eaten the most dirt. For, be it understood, Mr Chapman is now altogether out of the reckoning — by Mr Chapman's own solemn act and deed. "If no further inducement is offered," said Mr O. at his meeting the other night, " I shall certainly not go to the poll." No further inducement was offered, — the meeting merely acknowledging his address by a vote of thanks, and Mr Chapman departing happy in the knowledge that he ' had " caused his hearers some amusement." So the Chapman candidature is over,— a thing to be regretted,- as Mr Chapman's terms were eminently reasonable. " Take me on trial," he said — like a housemaid applying for a sitivation — "a month's wages or a month's warning." Then, in loftier mood, " Neglect this one chance, and it may never occur again !" Aly, we have neglected it ! There was a tide in the affairs of this election which, taken at the flood, bad led to Chapman; omitted, all the voyage of our quest is bound in Brackens and in Hutchisons — arcades amho. Another Sydney horror ! Our Timavu Borgia case sinks into commonplace beside this Moore Park outrage — the second or third of the kind within a few months. Sydney larrikinism begins in the very halls of legislature, where makers of the laws blackguard each other like street hoodlums, and sometimes do not even observe the decency of retiring to the lobby before fighting it out. We in New Zealand have little excuse for Pharisaic complacency ; but we may be permitted to congratulate ourselves on what doctors call a good family history. We have no scrofulous taint. There is no old, bad leaven here, infecting society from the bottom to the top, and intermittently breaking out in bizarre and monstrous forms of lawlessnes. I pen these sentences, observe, in a]' strictly philosophical spirit, and not in the least as suggesting that the rule of New Zealand in the Australasian family circle is to sit apart and sing " Oh what a good boy am I !" Not at all ! lam merely explaining why we have not as much fertility and originality in crime as some other members of the family. The queerest murder on record since the takingoff of Fair Rosamond, was committed by a man now lying under sentence of death in Sydney. He offered his wife, as Queen Eleanor offered her rival, a choice between dagger aud bowl. Like Rosamond she chose the bowl — whether influenced by the historic precedent or not is not abated. To pass from the tragic to the

comic, — the other clay a picker-up of unconsidered trifles wandered into the rooms behind the Supreme Court, and carried off the judge's robes — actually the judge's robes !—! — whilst his Honor was getting a little lunch in an adjoining apartment. Among the oddities of crime this exploit would be hard to beat. The reservoir leak that has cut capers in our newspaper columns for many a year past seems to have been at last run to earth. Mr G. P. Clifford has had his eye upon it all along and has never been diverted from the scent by the airy reassurances of municipal officers. Small streams of trickling water which to'the unconcer ned looked harmless— nay, picturesque— were viewed by Mr Clifford with curiosity and disfavour. " Whence art thou ?" he repeatedly said to the babbling brook, and the brook invariably babbled on and returned no answer. This irritated Mr Clifford, and he commenced to haunt the reservoir in wet weather and fine. In the crimson of the morning, in the whiteness of the noon, In the amber glory of the day's retreat • Mr Clifford was punctually on hand, seeking | either to bottle or to frown down the suspicious rivulet. Failing in this he compelled assistance* and the leak became an object of scientific research. Professor Black diluted the water in the reservoir with chemicals, and secured samples of the compound as it emerged via the leak Mr Robert Hay then appeared upon the scene and entered into a combat with the leak, compared to which Professor Black's was a mere skirmish. He gauged, bored, excavated, sunk shafts, constructed culverts, and followed the treacherous flow tributary by tributary, through clay, rotten rock, and boulders, until he had it practically at his mercy. This contest is not yet concluded, but the issue is in no doubt. The leak is to all intents and purposes unmasked, aud stands confessed as of origin so suspicious as -to almost justify the enmity of Mr Clifford. It flows not through but round the artificial embankment; and although the Woodhaugh residents need not fear sudden extirpation by a mighty flood, all is not as it should be. Ergo Mr Clifford has been by his rare persistency a public benefactor. Had the leak been easily discernible he would nothave hesitated, like the famous urchin who did such distinguished service ia the Netherlands, to plug the aperture with his finger and await developments ; or better still, to seat himself thereon and await the arrival of Mr Barnes, whose size and figure would better enable him to stop a leak, and whose office would give him the right to such a post of danger. But being unable to locate the leak and deal with it thus summarily, Mr Clifford did the next best thingHe agitated, and successfully. The Bishopric of Melbourne has undoubtedly gone a-begging these many months past, and Victorians are naturally curious to know why. The true reason undoubtedly is that divines at Home are awakening to the fact that a colonial bishop's life is not all* " gas and gaiters," as a Melbourne payer very prettily puts it. But whence are they getting their information? Who is it that has spied out the poverty of the ecclesiastical pastures and whispered the secret to the winds ? It should scarcely be his Lordship of Manchester, for he is one of the few colonial bishops who have escaped happily from an environment of much* peril. He has lived for years in a country where legal luminaries think nothing of descending from the bench and stripping off their robes for the sole purpose of stirring up the church with unpleasant vigour ; and where a clergyman, especially a bishop, is expected to carry a heavy battery of prayer always with him i ready lo unmask at a moment's call. He is required indiscriminately to supplicate that the clouds may yield of their abundance, and that the rabbits may instantly give up doing anything so ridiculous — and to supplicate with effect, mark you. From a position surrounded with such difficulties as these, Dr Moorhouse has escaped sound in skin and conscience, and with a snug sum in cash subscribed by his flock. But few other men could have done it, and of this- the good bishop is as likely as not aware. He will permit no clerical aspirant panting for the apron to rush upon the task unwarned, and thus it is we read that " after the Rev. George Austen's interview with the Bishop of Manchester he declined the offer of the See of Melbourne." But another divine, truly rural in name, has atepped to the front. The Rev. Field Flowers has blossomed in Bloomsbury hitherto — a happy association of man and place — and has resolved to submit to transplantation. A dry aud sandy soil he will find it ; but if Victorians want a bishop who, in the nature of things, should be more willing to pray for rain than his predecessor, they have probably got him in Field Flowers. The Hall-Houston sensation has even its humorous aspects. An enterprising stationer has published a pamphlet giving in tull the magisterial examination, and has embellished its pages with portraits of the principal characters in the piece. Like Artemus Ward's famous " statoot," the engraving would probably do duty for an indefinite number of individuals by simply changing the descriptive letterpress. The beauty of Ward's "statoot" .was that it could as occasion demanded do duty for Julius Cjesar, Washington, or Napoleon . But in this case the caricature of the poor lady in question (Mrs Kate Emily f Hall) might prejudice) her Majesty's loyal colonists against the prisoners. On seeing her counterfeit presentment, Mrs Hall might well be imagined snying: "Well, 'l c\onh think that's like me, but it is probably as the world sees mo ; and if so, little wonder if the world says any husband would be glad to get rid of such a guy." Given good looks and cash it would be hard to find a motive. But notwithstanding the pamphlet sells. Pictorial representation, even if purely imaginary, is getting more and more popular every day.

i How hard it is to write the Queen's English with simplicity and accuracy was illustrated the other day by the prolonged travail of the Melbourne University Council over the composition !of a mere business letter. The University is about to advertise for a professor of Biology — (let us hope they won't snatch away our Professor Parker!) —and had appointed a committee to prepare a letter of instructions to the Agent-general. After du,e incubation the committee produced a document of eight clauses, upon which the Council sat in committee of the whole, and after hours of squabbling amended by 15 verbal alterations. Clause 3 read, " That the Council request that the committee thus formed will select five candidates," &c. Professor Irving objected to " will." The Chancellor rather liked the word, but it was removed on the authoritative* assurance of the Rev. Dr Bromby that " it was certainly good English to leave out the •will/" The phrase "home applicants " was found ineleganj and altered to " other applicants." Next " skill" was substituted for "proved readiness," and then followed an acrimonious debate on the question whether the biologist should be of "gentlemanly manners" or of "gentlemanly bearing and presence." The Victorians, it would appear, set great value on what Mr Turveydrop called "deportment," and in advertising for a university professor think it necessary to specify that he must be a " gent." More argument ensued on the clause requiring him to possess the faculty of "at once commanding respect and exciting interest." Eventually it was resolved to give him time, and " at once " was struck out. Then came a clause setting forth that " the salary of the professor will commence from the day of his arrival in Melbourne" But suppose the " gent" elected should be already resident in Melbourne, or, haply, even be a native of the colony ? Here was a difficulty indeed, and in what fashion the council got over it is not recorded. Somehow or other, with incredible birthpangs, they at last achieved the parturition, aud their letters of instruction may be regarded, remarks the Argus, as the only perfect specimen of English literature the colony of Victeria ever produced. Joint authorship is difficult, it would appear, even to such a Sanhedrim of pundits as the Melbourne University Council. In the light of their experiment the success of these literary Siamese twins Besant-Rice and Erckmann-Chatrain seems more inexplicable than ever. I notice that a Mr Robert Hunter, of Wei* lington, being scandalised by the performance of " Patience" in a parish schoolroom, haa retired from the Synod, solemnly shaking it« dust from off his righteous feet. Also, that the Dunedin Congregatiorialists have a similar trouble. They are disputing in the newspapers about the exact degree of sinfulness incurred by one of their Young Mefl's Societies which has been dabbling in dramatic vanities. The offenders in the latter case excuse themselves on the ground that the play they presented, like the result of the peccant maid-servant'B indiscretion in one of Marryatt's novels, was "only a little one." But why excuse themselves at all? Church and Stage are old friends that have been temporarily estranged but are coming to a better rap~ prochemert every day. We saw in Dunedih quite lately a "St. Paul's Carnival"; since then St. John the Evangelist has been in partnership with "Poor Pillicoddy," and St. Joseph has had " Twenty Minutes with a Tiger." Why not? Pecunia non olet —(blessed maxim!) — [ and the money got by a stage farce ia probably quite as eligible for the church coffers as that which rewards the side-splitting anecdotes of a clerical buffoon on a tea-meeting platform. The rapid spread of church theatricals in England is evidenced by a recent discussion in the Lancashire and Cheshire Association of Baptist Churches. The Rev. H. Watts (Hyde) described " a Sunday-school dramatic performance with' the name of ' Joseph and his Brethren' — (laughter) —with the people dressed up, and Joseph drawn up from a pew representing the pit. —(Renewed laughter.) In their town 20 of the Sunday-school young people were dressed up as Christy Minstrels with black faces to collect for the Trust Fund. —(Laughter.) Mr Taylor (Blackpool) spoke of a similar performance in a neighbouring town, and gave an instance of a Sunday-school annual meeting which terminated in a dance, kept up until the morning. The dance was publicly stated to have been led off by the minister of the place. —(Groans.)" Other speakers recounted similar facts, perhaps the most remarkable being the following: — Rev. R. Lewis (Liverpool) gave an instance of the dramatic instinct powerfully developed in the Sunday school. A very efficient teacher was engaged in his work, and a visitor on entering found to his astonishment one of the boys strapped to a form. He asked what that meant, and he found it was " Isaac just about to be offered up."—(Great laughter.) The dramatio instinct had been so powerfully developed in that teacher that he could not resist the temptation of personating Abraham, with very great effectiveness, and though he had reason to believe that there was no knife in his hand, yet his uplifted arm was only stayed by the unexpected arrival of an interested spectator.-— ' (Renewed laughter.) Much discussion followed these remarkable testimonies, but "no resolution was arrived at.' Apparently the Baptist Association of Lancashire and Cheshire can read the signs of the times. Civis.

The new Presbyterian church at Lawrence was opened last Sunday, the Rev. Dr Stuart being the preacher. The Tuapeka Times states that Dr Stuart paid a high compliment 'to the energy and zeal of the Presbyterian body of the district. He referred to the first time he had ever preached in Tuapeka, and traced the gradual progress of the church since that time. In 1861 he held a service in Gabriel's Gully t and if vraa saying a great deal for the

Presbyterians of Lawrence that from that early period to the present day they had never cost the general fund a single penny. When they resolved upon doing anything they relied on tkemselves for the means to carry their purpose to a successsf ul issue. When the interests of the church were to bs advanced they had never been wanting; they were always to the fore when any good work was to be done, and they owed everything to that combined spirit of liberality and energy which had invariably characterised their efforts in the 1 past. The grand church which they had built was a lasting memorial of their perseverance, and an undying testimony of the noble spirit which had given rise to it. The soiree on Tuesday evening was a gre&t success. The ministers who delivered addresses were: Revs. Gibb, Fraser, Skinner, Sutherland, Kkkland, Ryley, Will, Cameron Dr Copland, Griffen, Don, and Taylor Apologies were read from Archdeacon Beaumont; Revs. Allan, Scorgie, Telford, and Hall. The Stock Conference at Sydney held th«ir first meeting .on the 27th inst. Mr Bruce, chief inspector of stock in New South Wales, was elected chairman. The first subject to be dealt with is diseases in stock. New South Wales, Tasmania, and New Zealand have each three members, Queensland and South Australia two each, and Victoria one. A meeting of the Dunedin shareholders in the South British Insurauce Company was held Tuesday morning at the Company's office, Liverpool street. Mr M. Harris, of Christchurch, the delegate appointed at a recent meeting of shareholders, who has just returned after interviewing the directors in Auckland as to the position of the company, reported that he had made a searching investigation into the business, also as to the investments of the capital and reserve fund. He was happy to be able to state that the funds are well and fairly invested. Mr Harris having made a highly satisfactory statement of the results of his visit and laid before the meeting a number of confirmatory statistics, and after several questions had been put and answered satisfactorily, •it was moved by Mr Reynolds, seconded by Mv Thomas Brown, and unanimously carried — " That the thanks of the meeting be accorded to Mr Harris for the time and trouble he had bestowed in the interests of the shareholders, and that the meeting have confidence in the stability, general management, and future prospects of the company." It was further moved by Mr Henry Benjamin and teconded by Mr Reynolds — " That, a cordial vote of thanks be given to the directors and general manager for their courtesy in placing all the information required at Mr Harris' disposal." In replying to the deputation from the Wellington Chamber of Commerce on the question of the proposed increase of the cable rates, Sir Julius Vogel said that while the subsidy asked was only £7500 a year, the company proposed to put on rates which would yield them £11,900.