THE WORLD’S HUMOUR.

Otaki Mail, 2 October 1922, Page 4

THE WORLD’S HUMOUR.

I SOME OP THE LATEST STORIES. ' Wo have received a copy of “Hum--1 our,” a bright fortnightly that skims • the laughter from the prominent jour- | nals of wit published in England, Arnej ricn and the Continent. From it we . have culled u typical selection of anec- ■ dotes and witticisms which we reprint below. ‘‘Humour” is published by the ; sumo company that runs ‘‘Aussie,” the bright and clever monthly. A New Zealand office for both publications has been established at Wellington. (Singer Avenue), from where readers of the ‘‘'Mail” may obtain free specimen 1 copies. jr.—■. ? .Some Skyscrapers! r A Vaiik and a Cornstalk met on the I neutral ground of Paris, and, as usual, the man from America began “blowin g o IV. ” 1 “Gar dam! There’s no good buildings in Paris,” he said. “Why in New York they have to take the chimneys off to let the moon pass.” “Sure,” said the Australian, “that goes for nothing in Sydney. They can’t let any of the top floors in the new houses there.” “Why’s that.’” queried the Yank. I “’Cos people can’t sleep for the | noise of the angels.” Equal to the Occasion. A colored preacher in Alabama had at one time served a short jail sentence f and was fearful lest his congregation discovered the fact, as in his later years he had been a model of rectitude. On .Sunday, rising to begin his sermon. his heart sank to see a former cellmate sitting in the front row.

Quick thinking was necessary, fixing his eye 'on the unwelcome guest, the preacher announced solemnly: “Ah takes mall text dis mo’nin’ from de sixly-fo’th chaptah and fo’ hundredth verse of de book of Job, which says: ‘ Dem as sees and knows me. and says nothin’, dem will Ah sec later.” Where Words Failed. The new guard was not familiar with a certain railway run in Wales. Came a station which rejoiced in the name of LUuiiai ifcChaiipwllgogcrych. lor a few minutes he stood looking at the signboard in mute helplessness. Then pointing to the board, and \\u\ing his other arm toward the carriages, he called. “If there’s anybody there for here, this is it! ” 1 Divine Familiarity. A 2ixiJ.ll South Carolina church recent•y. called a new pastor, and on the occasion of his first sermon, the negro janitor was on interested listener from lliO doorway of the building. The minister proved to be fluent, his sermon was eloquent, and in his prayers, which were loud and long, he seemed to cover the whole broad range of human needs. As the services ended and the congregation wtis leaving, one of the deacons paused tor a word with the juui-

] • 1 t.’y tlie way. Joe,” lie said, ' 1 what I■ lu you think of 'lie new minister? don't vnu think he makes a wonderful pi aver ’ ’ “Stiii'n.” the darkey answered. “Ah ■ uUii.lv does. Why, dut man took an’ a.\ed do Land i'o ’ things dot do las’ palif. on didn’t know lie had.” The Straight. Tip For Donald. Donald JUacTavisk lay a-dying. He had been all day about it, and his wife, who had watched with patient expeei taucy since early morn, began to feel | the call of her neglected household du- ’ ties. 1 “Av.ee!, Don.” ;lie said, as she wovled the light to the table by hie bed, “I . mu' ’ rang along to the kitchen the noo. t Ye 'll no be takin’ yer departure afore I come back. But if ye should, ye’ll no forget to blow out the candle afore h vo dee, will ye ? ’ ’ Rival Bidders. I The clergyman’s eloquence may have I been at fault, stiil he lelt annoyed to find that an old gentleman fell asleep during the sermon on two consecutive Sundays. So. after service on the second week, lie told the boy who accompanied the sleeper that lie wished to speak to him in the vestry. <‘Alv boy,” said the minister, when thev were closeted together, “who Is that elderly gentleman you attend church with.’” “Grandpa.” was the reply. “Well.” said the clergyman, "if you will only keep him awake during mV sermon. I'll give you a penny each week. ’ •' /' The boy fell in with the arrangement, and for the next two weeks the old gentleman listened attentively to the sermon. The third week, however, found him soundly asleep. The vexed clergyman sent for the boy and said: “I am very angry with you. DiJn’t I promise you a penny a week to keep k*m awake ” 1 “Yes," replied the boy, but Grandpa now gives me threepence not to disturb him.”