Scissors.

Opunake Times, Volume I, Issue 26, 28 September 1894, Page 4

Scissors.

The Colonial Treasurer can safely dob himself Vogel II. —Dr Newman. The Hon J. G. Ward says : “lam a philosophical man, and not easily worried.” The great He Hem Smith on his dignity: “ I will not give way, sir, one iotnm, sir I ” Judging by the way we are carrying on our business we shall not get away from our work until November. —Sir B. Stout. The Hon the Premier, swelling with injured innocence: “No true New Zealander should use the word repudiation ; I scout the idea.” - A cyclone two hundred yards in width, devastated a tract of country in lowa, Minnesota, two hundred miles long. Nine towns and villages were destroyed, and sixty persons killed and wounded. The Legal Committee of the Auckland City Council have decided to recommend the Council to decline the .Implication of the Tramway Company tort® trams on Sundays. Judg« "uiTyou make out, madam, that you are only thirty-five, when you admit that your daughter is thirty ? ” Mrs O’Toole : “ Oh! sure, yer honor, she’s me daughter by me furrest husband.” F. K. Spofforth, playing for Hampstead against Marlow (England) last month, took all the latter’s wickets in the second innings for 14 runs. Singularly enough, in the same match last yaar, “ Spoff.” performed the same feat. The New Zealand Shipping Company; Limited, is now advertising reduced passage rates to Loudon. The charge for ajirst-class single ticket is 50 guineas, return 85 guineas ; secondclass £3l 10s, and return £52 10s. Steerage passages are proportionately low. Judge : “ What’s your business ? ” Drunk; “My perfession is dat uv a mind-reader.” Judge : “ Well, I’ll give you a chance to prove your statement. What are my thoughts at the present moment ? ” Drunk : “ Your thinkin’ I’m de bigges’ liar yer ever run up against.” Judge : “ You may go.”

There were “ Bayley's ” aud “ Londonderry’s ” in bygone cjays (says the Bulletin). Since the discovery of gold ou the Thames (Maoriland), £5,500,000 worth have been won and treated at the works on the field in 27 years. The most famous finds were the Shotover and the Caledonian, which in tour months turned out £OOO,OOO. The Caledonian, perhaps the biggest show of reef gold ever seen in the , world, unearthed £BOO,OOO in one-third year. Burial at sea will, for people, lose * alf its terrors if, as the investigations ■»f Captain'Maury (U.S. Navy) tend, it i« true that at certain depths decay , - il practically arrested, and all the corpses which have been committed to he deep in blue waters, with weights attached, are now standing on the »> >ttom with lineaments and features ■•■ a perfect as they were- on the day . whereon their comrades * cast them ver the ship’s side. Sir Walter Buller, F.R.S., has received from the King of Italy the inignia of Knight Commander of the Crown of Italy, with the royal warrant of appointment, and also a letter • om Lientenant-General Yaglia (Secetary of State), stating that this distinction is conferred as a mark of appreciation by his Majesty of an illustrious and meritorious scientist, and ' pecially of the learned work on Birds of New Zealand,” &c. The * Secretary of State further remarks fiat the distinction has been conferred oa but few Englishmen.