FINAL

Opotiki News, Volume II, Issue 258, 13 November 1939, Page 4

FINAL

“Brown is going to retire from business for five years.” “Oil, I’ve heard him say that before.” “This time the judge said it!” PAGE THE WIFE! /. “Hew aie you getting on at. home since your #vife went away/” “line. I’ve reached the highest point of efficiency. I can put my socks on from either end.” PERFECT HATCH Two American students were talking' of the approaching marriage of their friend Bobby; and their classmate Alary. “Alary is a' perfect gem of a girl—swims, cycles, yachts, Hies, plays golf, rides ' like an Amazon, an cl drives a car like the very devil.” “Yes, it ought to be a perfect- marliage, Bobby is a first-rate cook.” AI. ANY POINTS—AJ ANY PINTS Two neighbouring villages were due t 0 play each other at football, and the rivalry was intense. The publican 'on one village offered a pint -of beer to eveiy man in the team for every goal that it scored. Not to he outdone the publican on the other village made a similar offer. At half-time one publican sent his boy down tc> find out the score. The boy came back with the following report: ‘•‘lt- is a very close game, sir; we’re hading by 23 goals to 22!”' TOO EXHAUSTING The applicant for a jcb as housemaid was being interviewed by. the employment agent, and was asked if she had any’preference as to the kind of family she would like to work for. ■ “Any kind.” she ( said, “except highbrows.” “You don’t like to work for highInows/” “Ab'u bet 1 don’t,” site said. ' “I worked lor a pair of bun once—and never again. Him and her was fighting all the time,' and it kept me funning back and forth from the keyhole to the dictionary ’till 1 was worn to a frazzle.”