A BATCH OF HOWLERS

Opotiki News, Volume II, Issue 203, 5 July 1939, Page 3

A BATCH OF HOWLERS

ENGLISH COLLECTION WHERE MILK COMES FROM. The University Correspondent, the organ, of the I'niversity Correspondence College of Cambridge, publishes its annual list of “howlers” and mistakes. and here are some of the examples given : “ ‘Lords and Commons are the places where cricket is played.’ ‘Moths can’t grow big because they only eat. holes.’ •‘‘in Holland they use water power to drive their windmills.’ ‘A virgin forest is one where the hand; of man has never set loot.’ “ ‘inventers make all the mouoj . Take cleaners. X am sure Mr. Vacuum lias cleared millions.’ “‘During the French Revolution many nobles were gclatined.’ “ ‘Cars run by eternal combustion engines.’ “ ‘He died of a painful melody.’ “ ‘Silence is what you den t hear when you listen.’ “ ‘Defoe was really a journalist, but lie could} write.’ “‘What do; you understand by the Tlieorv of Exchange? 'J he theory of Exchange as 1 understand it, is not very well understood.’ “ ‘A siren is a girl you often hear singing at a factory. “ ‘Compliment is when yon say something to someone which he and we know isn’t true.’ “ ‘Use the words cool and collected in a. sentence. “The man was cool before the accident, but lie was collected afterwards.” ’ ‘A lifeboat man must possess great courage, a spirit of self-sacrifice, and a waterproof.’ “‘in the... boat there eight men and one to coax them.’ “ ‘Double dealing is when you buy something wholesale to sell ictail. “ ‘Henry VIIL was not good at husbandry.’ “ ‘\Ve had a longer holiday because the school was closed for altercations. “ ‘Napoleon called England a nation of shoplifters.’ “ ‘A refugee is a man who blows the whistle at a match.’ “ ‘Distemper is a diisea.se. Dogs and ceilings get it.’ “ ‘Lancashire is famous for cotton because of its humility.’ “‘Milk comes over in tins and is called condemned milk.’ “ ‘He broke bis leg with a compound fraction.’ ‘Yuii break the law if you use mallet ifnct forethought.’