ADVICE

Otago Daily Times, Issue 210, 11 August 1862, Page 6

ADVICE

(From the Saturday Review.") Roughly speaking, we may perhaps divide society into two classes—men who are advised, and men who advise—advice-seekers and advice-givers- Let us first take into consideration the class of advice-seekers. Who are they, and what is their object? You will answer offhand that a man who seeks advice is precisely in the position of one who has lost his way, and wants a guide or a finger-post-But the analogy will not hold good in numberless cases. For example, why does a man ask for advice on the eve of taking an important step ? Very often simply in order to throw the responsibility of deciding on other shoulders than his own. If the advice have a fortunate issue, the adviser need never know anything of it. The advisee takes all the credit of the decision to himself. If the advice lead to a iailure or-misfortune, the adviser is saddled with all the blame, and never hears the last of his error. Here is one advantage of seeking and obtaining advice. There is somebody to call to account; somebody to hold responsible for whatever happens; somebody on whose head to pour out the vials of mortified vanity, and the bitterness of baffled hopes. Men often/then, seek advice to lessen their own responsibility. They are, however, willing-to accept the best advice offered ; but the case is different with another class of advice-seekers—those who act upon the honoured precedent of never refusing to listen to argument when they have made up their minds—"because then it can do no harm." It may seem strange that such men should

ask for advice at all. But let it be borne in mind that to ask advice of a man is to pny a compliment both to his judgment and 'to his knowledge of the question at issue. The compliment may be partly cancelled by non-com-

pliance vritli the advice given, but not wholly so. Even an empty compliment has a sort of savor that tickles the palate of many. Perhaps, as a rule, most advice seekers have pretty well made up their mind on the subject on which they consult you. Their object is to please you, and to secure your good will, where it is of any value, by offering homage to your mental and moral worth. Or, it may be, their object is to -maintain themselves on terms of friendly intimacy with you where the intimacy is advantageous" to them—or to elicit reciprocal confidence on your part, -whether from mere curiosity or to 'influence your conduct in a matter of interest to them—or simply to fortify their own minds by reciting aloud the reasons which hare induced them to come to a decision which they wish you to believe is not yet taken. In all these cases there is'-no desire, and certainly no intention, of profiting by anything you may have to say. This may be ascertained with the greatest fteility. Before you give your advice, make it a 'sine qua nan that your advice shall be followed. The immediate embarrassment, if not annoyance, evinced by the advice-seeker will prove that the homage paid to your judgment was little else than mockery—the confidence reposed in you only a hollow form. It is not necessary to conclude that, because such a man recoils in disgust from the notion of pledging himself to take your advice, he is bent 'on wilfully deceiving you. Often it is so. But sometimes the man has really never thought of the matter at all—has never realised for an instant the idea of following the advice he was so anxious to extract from you. The question, 4i Will you promise to be guided by me ? "' at once puts the matter in its true" light, and ■whilst it undeceives the advice-seeker, will probably save you much.waste of time and thought. There are instances, again, where a man who has almost'made up his mind that a step he wishes to take is either unwise or "wrong, seeks your counsel in the hope of your throwing out something to dissipate his scruples or reverse his half-formed decision. Such a man will readily promise to follow your advice, for, if it coincides -with his inclinations, it will be at once a salve for his conscience and a makeweight for a judgment that was trembling in the balance. ' This brings us, however, to another class of advice-seekers—that of men who want to hear what you have to say upon a point that preplexes them, but intend to take- your words exactly at their proper worth, neither more nor less. The compliment paid in consulting you is not in this case very high. Your advice will be estimated at its intrinsic worth, and accepted or rejected accordingly. Nor is it always an indication, when a man consults you, that he thinks you wiser or better than himself. Sometimes it is very much the reverse. Sydney Smith's notion of a foolometer ■was no less wise than witty. It is a substantial advantage to learn on some subjects the unbiassed and instinctive opinion of men rather below than above the average of mankind in intellect and sound judgment. "Do you see that stream of people passing down the street?"' said the thriving quack to the unemployed surgeon anxious to learn the cause of the other's success. " How many are fools—how many are wise ? Perhaps five per cent, are wise. These are your patients—the rest are mine." In consulting men rather below than above the average a3 to intellect, it is not meant that their views should govern your own convictions, but simply that they should influence your practice. This sounds immoral, but it need not be so. For example, there are two ways of doing things—a pleasant and an unpleasant one. It i 3 important that you should ascertain what is one and what the other. In these days, the statesman is very much in the position of the actor, whose task

is so happily hit off in Johnson's line—'

■"■ For

those who live to please mnst please to live." . Half the art of modern statesmanship consists in "making things pleasant," and no one, • barring a few notorious blunders, has manifested the art more conspicuoxisly or practised it more successfully than Lord Palmerston. It may be objected that on some occasions he has carried almost the whole « nation with him, and that he must then at least have consulted the feelings of men above the average. But it does not follow, because you shape your course by the notions held on a given subject by common-place men, that such notions may not often coincide with the convictions of men of higher stamp. Majorities are sometimes in the right; and majorities will in such cases embrace many of the best as well as mo3t of the worst of the people of a country. We have said that, in a rough way, mankind migUt be divided into advice-seekers and advice-givers. Let us now turn to the latter class. Advice-givers certainly fill a void. Not that we mean by advice-givers men who occasionally give advice. There are few who 8 are not called upon to do this. Indeed, the says ing is very trae that there is nothing of which men are more liberal than.of their counsel. But the reader will readily distinguish between * men who give an opinion when asked for, or tender counsel on an emergency, and men who 9 ' make it their business* to give advice, are ever on the watch to do so, and do it with a relish. °Such men count that they have lost a day when they reflect, on retiring to rest, that they have given nobody any advice during the last twelve hours. To advise is ° their vocation—the end and aim of their existence—their solace in affliction, and a vent for 8 their excitement in prosperity. It would be a great mistake, to suppose that men swayed . by o this chronic anxiety to give advice are 1

necessarily actuated by any benevolent motive. The majority of such men are notla the kaat anxious for .the welfare of tb>se they advise, except so far as the result may throw credit or discredit on themselves. They are neither more benevolent than their neighbors, nor less so. They simply feel pleasure in giving advice. They enjoy pouring forth, without fussor 'hurry, to a moderately attentive ear, a leisurely stream of words on a subject that admits of being discussed, and can be balanced first on one si 'c and then on the other, and finally turned} bodily inside out. The passion for giving advice begins early in life. Pope "lisped in numbers, for the numbers came," and the advice-giver is equally precocious. A fifth or sixth form boy will afTectionately walk a youngster up and down the empty school-room or secluded corridor, and lecture him earnestly on. the folly of idleness, and the dignity of study. But should the youngster venture to resume the subject on the following day, or even claim the honor of being acquainted with his mentor, he will find himself—to use the playful language of schoolboys—"kicked into the middle of next week." The paroxysm of advice-giving is over, ;ind the patient recipient of so much valuable' counsel subsides into the common-herd of boys uncared ibr and forgotten. Home advicegivers are cautious, and take care not to commit themselves to a definite opinion. They put both sides of the question in a fair light, then weave round one and the other a network of words, and finally reduce the whole to a state of uncertainty. The inquirer—if the person addressed be an inquirer—takes his leave and goes his way, not only m the dark :is to the solution of his (iifliculty, but even as to what his difficulty really is. IJut, generally, advice-givers, after indulging their passion to the uttermost, wind up by giving the counsel they have reason, to believe will be most acceptable to their hearers. This is an expedient both easj* and agreeable. It has also the advantage of getting rid of a troublesome person who does not perceive that there is nothing more to be said on the subject. Advisers of this class are more popular, but much more mischievou?, than the smaller class of men who take the opposite tack, and invariably wind up by counselling you, " ah you value your happiness in this world or the next," to do something they have been at 'pains to ascertain is exceedingly disagreeable to you. You leave their presence, intimately persuuuv.l of the malignity "of their deposition, and the im- ! perfection- of their mental eyesight. IJut, on the whole, the ordeal, though rough,'is not without benefit. .It affords salutary assistance in enabling you to get at the rights of a question that puzzled you. Of givers of agreeable advice, commend us, in matters notaiiccting,professional reputation, to the doctors. Polonium, in his anxiety to humour Hamlet to the top of his bent, was not more accommodating than you will often "find the family physician' in "obscure or doubtful cases. For iustauce, consult him, first, a.*-to j the propriety of "change of air and scone/1 I and secondly, as to where it is to be sought, j To do him justice, he will raise no objection.to j your instantly taking yourself oil'to any tlis- | tance, though he thereby 10-r a lucrative | patient. Doctors are not grasping, ami just as | an artist is heartily tired of a lady or gentle-i "man whose likeness he cannot catch, so <loc» a doctor become gradually disgusted with his patient who declines to get better. Such a patient i« a positive nuisance—-a' hiot upon the doctor's escutcheon, a weight upon his conscience, a standing evidence of- the imperfection of medical science. It is a relief to get rid of him at any price. The anxious invalid i« almost taken aback at the emphatic promptitude with which his doctor assents to the timuilv uttered inquiry, whether a little change mi^ht not do good ? Hut the doctor's indu'gctici.* does not stop there. IFe will give you the | widest latitude as to the choice of a locality.' Indicate any particular 8p >t to which you have taken a fancy, and so it he not the C'liinpagnu of Koine, an iceberg in. the Polar sea, the shores of Sierra- Leone, or any other locality ol decidedly unpleasant reputation, the doctor will instantly stamp it with the sea! of his approval. Suggest objections, and the doctor will waver. Start off in another direction, and he Avill nimbly follow suit. Conversationally speaking, you mty thus take your medical adviser all round the globe, and, wherever you propose to pitch'your-tent, you may usually count upon his cheerful sanction. But doctors' advice is not always so agreeable. A college tutor of the old school began to break down in health. '; .Sir," said his doctor, uyou must take your choice. Eat aud drink leas or die-within six. months." '"Then I will die," was the spirited rejoinder. And in sixmonths the mail was dead. Openness "of this kind entitles a doctor to respect, but would not. enhance his popularity with the general public. A doctor L; expected to be mealymouthed, and if, when consulted as to'change of air, he flatly replied that it was a matter perfectly innnnteriiil, he would be pronounced a brute.

Professional men, a.s a rule, should be consulted as such, and never as personal friends. Jt is dangerous to obtain advice free of charge. It is nt that your adviser mis:;L>s|the stimulus of a tee—it is tint his judgment is warped by his feelings. The lawyer friend siirtors his sympathies to be-roused, and docs not grasp with his wonted firmness the hard facts of the case at issue. The stock-jobber who entertains an almost brotherly regard (or you thinks to make you a rich man by a short cut, warmly urges you to make a venture with all-your fortune, and lands 3*oll in the Queen's Bench much to his and your dismay. Another rule in not to be too hasty in consulting a man as to the propriety of tnking a, step which he has himself just talcen. If a man has made a mistake, it is not very often that he will admit he has done so. On the contrary, selfishness will urge him to lead you along the same road, and place you in the same boat with himself. The fox that had lost his tail would have certainly recommended a brother fox, doubtful as to the utility of tails, to dispense with the appendage without delay. Do not then, if the question be that of marriage, consult a man recently married—if of entering Parliament, a man-who has just carried the borough of Gobblecombe at the cost of half his fortune—if of plunging into mining or railway ventures, a man who has succeeded in burying a few thousand pounds underground, without any other result than hopelessly disfiguring his park, or who haa been obliged to retire to Baden-Baden whilst the affairs of the West Midland Aquatic Junction are being wound up. A scalded dog fears cold water. But, then, he fears it for himself rather than for his neighbor.

It is rare that a man need seek for what -is strictly understood by the term advice.' Information is essential,* and we cannot do wrong in searching till we find it. But how to use, how to weigh, analyse, and apply the information, must rest mainly with ourselves. A man's best councillor is his own heart and conscience. The best and wisest friend on earth cannot be sure of guiding us aright, for he does not and cannot see—nor indeed can we accurately tell him—all that is in our mind Thus he must add up the pros and cons with the same liability to error as a man casting-upa sum in addition with one or more of the figures omitted.

In a Case heard at the Thames police court, the other day, it appeared that the amount paid to a poor woman for making slrirts was 2Jd quc\\,—English Paper.