THE TALE HE TOLD THE MARINES

Otago Daily Times, Issue 137, 24 April 1862, Page 5

THE TALE HE TOLD THE MARINES

Now mind; I will not guarantee the truth of this. la»n only tellit you as he told1 it iis.' It sounds improbable, certainly, but no one can say it is impossible. What is (Kere to prevent, a. lady, if she is so inclined, from——.;'•"■ I But that would spoil the "story. Arid ther^is no lawof nature, I suppose to restrain a man wholis devoid of geritlemarily_feeling ashe is—■—. But that would tell you what is coming. It is.no good sayipg he was intoxicated, because I defy you to get drunk ori'sherry and soda-wafer j'andto lay it to the' heat of.the "season is absurd, for it was a remarkably cool .evening for August. ' No ! Jenkyns is a man who •has had some strange experiences/ and this was not the least Btrange among! them." ' Still, mind, I will not guarantee the truth of this : though by the way, you don't bften^frrid "a' iriari tell the same tale twice'in exactly the same way if it is not true; and' I' have heard him' tell this talb twice.:' The first time was;atja* dinner^ at.Lord ', "' ' . Well! ' it does riots matter wK"ere; r It is sometimes advisable riot to men-; tion: proper names.. I' don't' think inentioriing ,thi would do any harm, though—at a dinner at"Lord's cricket-ground, arid the second time, was Tori the.occasion^ of which larii now speaking, when I'found him drinking sherry arid soda-water and;smokirig.6heroots' with three officers of marines, "one" of whom with five ■ i gloves (lacly'a six and a; half) and a witnered'rose befpre him> was telling how. .;'; ''" " after leading me on in this way, after gaining my young affections in this treacherous manner, by Jove! sir,; she- thrown me; over, and marries Blubber.".': • ; •; ':; ;'f It's likethe sex," said the second marine^ ' ' : ;'; It'B woma,n.that!Bejuices^all riiankirid," said.the thirdmarine.' ';-'\ :," ;' ' •■.-■< ■;' -}j- •■;

I '■' It reminds me of what once happened to myself," gaid Jenkins; " you know the story," he continued, I I turning to me. "So just order yourself some sherry and soda-water; ah ! and while you are aoout it order some for me too, and you can pay for them both when they come, then I shan't be put out. Paying for anything always puts me out. Thank you ! I'll try one of jour cigars. Well! gentlemen," turning to the marines, '* .. some time, ago I was staying with Sir George' P ■, P— House, P -'—shire. Great number of people there—all kinds .of amusements going on. Driving, riding, fishing, shooting, everything in fact. Sir George's daughter, Fanny, was often my companion in these expeditious, and j was considerably struck with' her. For she was'a girl to whom the epithet ' stunning' applies better than any, other that lam acquainted with. Sh could 1 ride like'Nimrod, she could drive like Jehuj she could row like Charon, she could dance like Terpsichore, she 1 could run'like Diana, she walked like Juno, and she looked like Venus, rye even Berber smoke." c " One good point in her character," at any rate,'1 said the third marine. " Just like the sexl" said the second marine.. . . " Ah"!~ ulre was "a stunner," ■ continued Jenkyns, '♦ yon should have beard that girl whistle, and laugh;

you should have ?ioard her laugh. Sho was truly a delightfttl companion.- We irode .together, drove together, : -fished together/, ".'walked 'J- together, danced together, sang together; I called her Fanny, and* she called nic Tom, All. this could could hiiye but bile termination, you k;mw. I fell in love withjher,-an'd determined to tnke the first opportunity ofjproposiiig. ; do one dny, when we were out together fishing on the lake, I went down, on my knees rimongst the"'gudgeons, seized her hand, 'pressed it to my waistcoat, and in burning accents entreatedher to become my. wife." '~,-.. ::

" ' Don't be a fool!' she said. I' Now drop it, do ! and put me a fresh worm on."

'■/.Oh, Eanny!-I. exclaimed, dou!t. talk, about worms,' wheii'todrriage is in question. Only say . "'I tell whatsit is, now," she replied, angrily, 'if you d6n4'drop\ft!l?JlpitohyOU OUto.*the boat.'" ' rGentlemen,-'.'siiiu juiiKj j.s, wun strong emotion, "I did not drop •■it; ; and I. give you ray*.-:word of honor, with asiuideri shove she sent me flying into the water; tpen-seizing-the sculls,-With a.stroke,.or two she put several yards between us, u and buratinto a fit of laughter that fortunately prevented her from going, any further. .-1 swam up and climbed into the!boat. ' Jenkyns,' said I to.myself, 'Revenge ! revenge!' I disguised my feelings. I laughed—hideous mockery of mirth-J-I laughed. Pulled to the bank, went to the hous^e, and changed my.-, clothes. ■:. Wlien I appeared at,the dinner table, I perceived that everyone had: been informed of my ducking—iiniversnl laughter' greeted me. During dinner Fiiriny repeatedly' whispered - to. her neighbor, - and glnnced at me. Smothered laughter . followed. Said"l, 'Kevengre!'" -The opportunity soon offered. There wa9 to be a balloon ascent from the lawiV, and Fanny had tormented her father in tor letting her ascend with the terOnnut. I instantly took my plans, bribed the seronaut to plead illnessat thejnoment when the machine should have risen ; learned from him the management of the balloon, though I understood thit oretty well before, and calmly awaited the result. ;The day came.'. The weather was'fine.— The balloon was inflated. Fanny was in the car.Everything! was ready, when the aeronaut suddenly fainted.! He." was carried into' the house, and Sir George accompanied him to see that he was properly attended t0..,., Fanny was in despair. _ " "' Am I tftlbse my aii. expedition V she exclaimed, looking over" the side of .the cari'; ' Some one' understands theVinanagement of this, surely] Nobody? Tom !' she called out to me^'you understand-it, don't you?' ".*';.■.' . .'; ■ ' : j "'Perfectly,'l.answered. .. ".,;■ :-. "'Come .. along then, she cried, ' be.. quick : before papa comes back;' •.-■•..... ; . • " Thej company in general endeavoured to dissuade herrfrom her/project, but of. course in vain, After; a decent; show.of hesitation, I climbetl into the car. The baljoon was cast of, and rapidly sailed heavenward. There was scarcely a breath of wind, arid we rose almost "straight up. We rose above the house, and she! laughed and said: '"H6w jolly!" '■'"", " We; were higher than the highest trees, and she. smiled and said it wa a very kind of me to come with her. We were so high that the people below looked mere spjecksy'and she hoped that 1 thoroughly understood the management of "the balloon. Now was my time, i! ' ;\\ '' - , ' ~ . ; "'I [understand the going up part,' I answered, ' to come down is not so easy,' and I whistled. ' " ' \yhat do you mean?' she cried. '..'.'' Why, when you want to go up faster, you throw some saiid overboard,'. I replied, suiting the action to the wotid. -.-... . .T'Doh't'be fbblisli, Tom,' she said, trying to appear qiute. calm arid indifferent, but trembling uncommonljv ■• . . : "'Foolish!' I said.' 'Oh, dear no, but whether I go: along the ground- or up in the air I like to go the pace/nvndwSjjrdo^ybu, Fanny, I know. \ Gro.it, you cripples,'and.qvel'AVent another sand-bag. "- '"'Why,"you're mad, "surely," Bhe whispered in utter terror,: and tried to reach the bags, but I kept her back... .; " -: '- : ■' "' Only with love, my dear,' I answered, smiling pleasantly ;'.'•< Only with love for you. Oh, Fanny, I adoreypu!. Say you will be my wife.' , . " ' ligave you anariswerthe other day,'shereplied! ' one which sI should have thought you would have remembered,' she added, laughing a little,- notwithstanding her terror, , . '■' '"' Ijremember it perfectly, I answered, "■'but I intend ;tb have a different reply to that.. You see those five sandbags*, I shall ask you five times to become my wife. Every time you refuse Ishall throw over a —so lady, fair, as the cabmen would say [reconsider your decision, and become Mi's. Jenkyns.' "' Ij won't' she said ;- '.I riever.will! and, let me tell you, you are acting in a.very ungentlemanly way to press me thus.' ■ ' "' You acted in a very lady-like way the other day, did you not,-I rejoined'- '-when you .knocked- me out. of the boat!' She .laughed again, for she was a plucky one, arid no mistake—a very plucky girl. ' However,' I went on, 'it's no good arguing about it-will you promise to give me your hand.'{■---. .■--■•" ,<" Never,', she answered ; 'I'll go to Ursa Major first, tbqugW I've gota big enepugh bear here, in all conscience/ 'ptay-! you'd prefer Aquarius, wouldn't you V ! *i-h i . ■;■.'. "She looked so pretty that I was almost inclined to let; her^off (1 w,a,sogly trying to,frighten har t of coursef—l ;knew how high we could go.safely well enough, andiqw valuable the life of Jenkyns was. to his country)";^'but' resolution is one of the 'strong points }of illy character^ and when I've beguna thing I like to cafVy it through, so I threw* over another sond-bag, and "whistled the Dead_ March in; Saul. '" Come/Mr. Jenkyns,'she said, suddenly, fcbme, Tom, let v?" descend .now, and I'll promise to say nothing whatever.about all this.' . ■ " I'contiriiied the execution of the Dead March. • "'But"it'you do not begin the descent at once I'll tell papa the moment I set foot upon the ground.' J' I! laughed, , seized another bag, and looking steadily at her, said :" ' ".'" ' AVill-you- promise to give me your hand ?" ~ " ' I've answered you already," was the reply. " Over went the sand, and the solemn notes of the Dead March resounded through the car. •£' I thought you. were a gentleman,' said Fanny, rising iup in a .terrible rage, from the bottom of the car; where she had been sitting, arid looking perfectly beautiful iri,her 'wrath; ■/1 thought you were a o-entleman, but I find 1 was mistaken; why, a chim-ney-sweeper would not treat a lady in. such a way. Do you know that you are risking your own life as well as mine by your madness.' ■ ' " I explained that I adored her so much that to die in her company would be perfect bliss, so that I begged she would not consider my feelings at all. She dashed her beautiful hair from her face, and standing perfectly erect, looking like the Goddess of Anger! or iloadicea—if you can fancy that; personage in a balloon—she1 said, >: '■;■; : ,-.■/' " ' I- commaiid you to begin the;descent this.instant.'' - r • .. ■;;"...'i- '.'■■ :'-; .:■'■"-.,. .'.,;■ .;; '•,'Th'e Dead March, whistled-:in a manner essentially gdy-and lively, was the only, response. After a'few minutes, silence I took up another bag, and said, ~■?.*.. : j; '" We are getting rather/high, and if you do not decide soon we shall have Mercury coming to tell us toat.We are trespassing—will you promise me your ""fehesat in sulky silence inthe bottom of the care I threw over the sand. ■ Then she tried another plan. Throwirig herself upon her' kneesj and bursting. into tiars,' she said, ■ ' < ■ . ■. : '".Oh, forgive "me for" what I did the other day!. It was very wrong, and lam very ■■ sorry. Take me homei and I will be a sister to you.' " ' Not a wife .!* said I. ; . ■ I" I can't!.l can't!' she answered. .'"'.-..■. ; " Over went the fourth bag, and I began to think she would beat me after all, for I did not like the idea of going much higher. I would not' give in just; yet, however;. I whistled for a few moments, to give her time for reflection, and then said, - >. '"-Fanny, they say that marriages are.made in Heaven j if you do not take care burs will ■be solemnized! there.' •."'••■■ - ■- . - " I took up the fifth bag. V " ''Coin'fjM. Kiid 'my wife in life, brmy companion in death! .Which is it to be? and I patted the_.sand-, bag iii a. cheerful nianner. ; She hid her face in her hands, but-did-not answer. I nursed-the bag in my arms as if it. had been a baby, •■'■'■■■ \ : "'•Come, Fanny, give jrieyourproiriise1!' '■'--- ''; ''i" I could hear her sobs.' I'm the most soft-hearted creature breathing, and would not pain any living thing, and I confess she has beaten me. I "forgave hertheducHng,'l fprgave her for rejecting me. I was on the"i "point of; flinging the bag back into the car, iand saying, 'Dearest' Fanny, forgive me for irighteningiyou. Marry whomsoever you will.' ' Give' your1 lovely hand to the loweet groom in your stables,. -Tendow with- ybui- priceless beauty the Chief of the!Panki Pariki Indians., Whater happens, Jenkyns'is jour slave—your—dog—your-footstool^ - .;His dutyhenceforth, is to go whithersoever you shall order, — ; do Whatever you shall command, I was just on. the point of saying this, I repeat, when Fanny suddenly looked up, and said, with a queerish expression upon her face: — , . " ' You need not throw that last bag over. I promise to give you my hand.' "' With all your heart 1 I asked quickly. ",' With all my heart,' she answered, with thesnme strange'look., "I tossed the bag' into the bottom of the car, and opened the valve. The balloon descended. ".Gentlemen,' said Jenkyns, rising from his seat in the most solemn, manner, and stretching out his hand, ns if he were going to take an oath ; Gentlemeri, will you believe it f When we had readied the ground, and the balloon had been given over to' its recovered master, —when I had helped Fanny tenderly to the1 earth, and turned towards her to receive anew the promise of her affection and her hand—will you. believe it? she gave me abo'fcon the ear that upset me against the car, and running to her father, who at that moment came up, she related to him and the assembled company what she called my disgraceful conduct in the oalloon, and ended by informing me. that all of her hand that, I was likely to get" had al-' ready-been bestowed upon my ear, which she assured me had been given witn all her heart.' " ' You villain,' said Sir George, advancing towards' me with a horsewhip in his hand; ' You villain I I've ft £«od mind to break this over yonr back.'

" 'Sir George,' said I, 'villain and Jenkyns must never be coupled in the same seutenco; vand as for the breaking of this whip, I'll relieve you 'of the trwble,'. and, snatching it from his hand, I broke 'it in two, and threw the pieces on the' ground.' 'And nowlshall have the honour of wishing you a good morning. 'Miss JP—^ I forgive you.' And 1 retired. ' ■■''.'.

" Now I ask you whether any specimen of female treachery equal to that has ever come.within.your experience, and whether any excuse can be made for such conduct V ■■'.'■".■ ;;

"As I said before, it's like the sex,": said the s;c:md mnrine. "Yes, all mankind is sejuiced by woman," said the third marine.

"It's1 just my case over. again," said the first marine. "After drawing me on in that way, after -gaining my affections in that treacherous manner, by Jove, sir; she goes andmarries Blubber.", ~ *- Well, it does sound ,improbable, certainly — very improbable. But, I said before I began that I would not "guarantee the truth of it... Indeed, if you askmy candid opinion, I don't think it is true, but yet the marines belive it.— Once a Week., , .