Page 1 Advertisements Column 1

Otago Daily Times, Issue 50, 13 January 1862, Page 1 (Supplement)

Dr. Webster, a wit and celebrated preacher, was fond of a drop of claret. A friend, on whom he liml called one day, said he would give him a treat, and produced a bottle of the doctor's favorite wine, adding that it was npwards of fifty years old. Being only a pint bottle, the doctor took it lovingly in his hnnd, and said, ' Dear me, but it's unco little o' its age.' Accepting an Invitation.—An American Judge recently called at the villiage store, designing t) make the purchase of a few mackerel. Sevens 1 friends were in who knew that the Judge had become a good temperance man, nnd were willing to run him a little. The storekeeper joined in the sport, and begged the Judge to take a little something. 'What will you have, Judge ? Take anything yen like.' The Judge looked around, as if to doubt what to choose, and replied, ' I believe I will take a mackerel!' Helping himself he gravely walked out of the store, and was not invited to take anything there again. A Turk asked an Armenian to lend him a rope. " My rope," said the Armenian, " is being used to tie up flour." " How," demanded the borrower, " can you tie up flour with a rope ?" " Because," said the Armenian, " I can apply a rope to any use when I db not wish to lend it." A Posthumous Comi'mmhxt.—A servant of an old maiden lady, a patient of Dr. Poole, formerly of Edinburgh, was under orders to go to the doctor every morning to report the state of her health, how she had slept, &c., with strict injunctions always to add, " with her compliments." At length, one morning the girl brought this extraordinary message, " Miss S 's compliments, and she de'ed last night at aicht o'clock. — Jiwtimii/'s Reminiscences of Scottish Life and Character. A Candid ScouNDurcr,.-—Marivaux, a celebrated writer of French romance, having one day met with a sturdy begger, who asked charity of him, he replied, "My good friend, strong and stout as you are, it is a shame that you do not go to work." " Ah, master," said the begger, "if you but know how luzy I am !" " Well, replied Marivaux, " I see you are a candid scoundrel; here is half-a-crown for you."