RANDOM NOTES.

Oamaru Mail, Volume I, Issue 305, 16 April 1877, Page 2

RANDOM NOTES.

" A chiel's amanj ye takir.' notes, An" faith he'il prent 'em." . j Brass. 0 Br MAGGUFFIX. Why is it the candidates for legislative honors, M's.P., and C.C's., et hoc genus ' o.nne, delight in clothing their eloquence in a species of etymology peculiarly their own, to the total rejection of the defunct Murray ? I recollect an aspirant for Parliamentary honours, who could not speak a dozen consecutive words extemporaneously, astonishing his supporters while on the stump, by orating, in stage parlance, fully a score of lines in an ofl-hand manner which was highly suspicious, conveying the impression to his auditory that the orator was crammed for the occasion. Tlie burst of applause which succeeded the conclusion of the unexpected brilliant peroration had scarcely subsided, when the pseudo senator was somewhat discomposed by the following interrogation : " Beg >rra, Mike, that was an illigant spache intirel" ; but tell us, "Mike agra, who wrote it f.ir ye V' This was a base insinuation which could not be borne, and determined not to be robbed of the merit of his oratorical display, with a withering look of scorn at the sceptic, Mike retorted : " No wan at all ; for I mjd it up out of my own cognomen." A general roar of laughter greeted the ready-witted Mike, but whether it was ciused by the manner in which he had floored his opponent, or the novelty of his explanation, I will leave my readers to decide. Wheth r tie electors were not satisfied with the source from which the inspiration was drawn it is hard to say, bub when the poll was declared, he counted s x votes to his opponent's 303. and as there was a LSO-penalty to a candidate nob securing a certain proportion of votes, poor Michael's cognomen was rather a dear one. It is more than possible that most colonists have heard of Charles. Jardine Don, Victoria's premier demagogue, whose language was more forcible than ornate, and whose mission, a? slated in the heat of one of his Piiillipics against squatocracy, was " to hammer blue-stone by day, and legislators by night." And well did he execute his task, although occasionally slight mistakes would °oceur bv wrong words floating to the surface, as on the occasion when lie waxed eloquent wit.i regard to toe " purloins " of Coliingwood. It was not until the more indiscreet of his brother legislators relieved themselves by a loud gutfaw, that poor Don knew there was a screw loose somewhere, and that " purlieus," would have been more appropriate in the contest. Tiiese reminiscences were brought to my mind by the vagaries of a representative of one of our local bo:lies at a meeting at which J was present a few days since. The member in question did not put in an appeai'ance until the business iiad been somewhat advanced, and after waiting for some time, vainly striving to catch the thread of the discussion, rose to his feet and unburdened himself as follows : "Mr. Chaim'man, I do not know what your all talking about ; for I have only just come in, and I have only heard a few of the preliminaries." I happened to look up at the rubicund face of the Chairman at the moment, and the seraphic smile which illumined his countenance did not need the telegraphic twinkle of the left optic to convey to me that the explanation was thoroughly appreciated. Unfortunately the above, was the sum total of the utterance of the member in qu.'stion during a sitting of four hours, and yet that representative of the vox popuii labours gratuitously in tlie service of his country, without one penny's remuneration.

It is but common jus-ti ;e that whm a person or people, to vn or territory, is spoken of in terms cah ulated to le s ;n tlieir dignity, some valid reason should be s'iowii for tlie stigma east upon them. Under this head the City of Nds m ;ipptars to me to have just cause of complaint for although I have never yet i eard it allmk-d to otherwise than as the " Sleepy Hollow " of the Colony, I have never come across a single individual who could explain its origin, or inform me of the reason of tiie bestowal of tue appellation. I must confess that I myself am not wholly innocent in the matter, as I have followed in the wake of others in the use of the term, I feel it incumbent upon me to make the amende, honorable, and show reason why I have done so. I recollect about two years since a fire broke out at night in that somnolent city. Now, the engine-slied happened to be located side ,by° side with "an undertakers, and the drowsy firemen repaired to the gate of the latter, withdrew the bolts, yoked themselves to one of the carriages for the dead, and trotted otf to " the tolling of the bell." The mistake was not discovered until the scene of the conflagration wag reached, when the ghu'e of the burning building disclosed taj slight mistake whoh had been made. It is needless to say that the homeward procession of the brigade was of a solemnity in accordance with the suggestive nature of the vehicle following at their heels. As these facts are perfectly true, they are quite at the service of any ope who may be cornered for the origin of " Sleepy JSollow," but the copyright of this paragraph is strictly secured. Colonial dramatic critics occasionally utter hard things of those " under the microscope but they certainly area long way behind tln ir Can dian brothers in the Sting of their sarcasm cr the pungency of their pergonal uyrfraifs. Speaking of ail actor who enacted t le part of the Dnlje in " Twelfth Night/' the TorontoJiloba has

the following candid criticism a pity that the Duke was repres wHisl a fellow with a face for a nsri and a manner lit for the clogs. the bearer of a double chin hive done honor to an Episcopnlianjßjaß of the old sort, and displayed aH|||l that was a yard long, and as the coast of 'Maine." Hitherto theH jH dox expression has been, " They these 'liings better in France," matter of criticism few will be fo-B-Jll dispute the awarding of the palmJH '^S The Stewards of the Jockey Clujß ■lll brovigil 1 ; a hornet's nest about tl.c|B »2| whicii they little expected, but forH--jfa they are in a great measure to hlnaß ;|j| do not for a momem. find fault witjM ;J|| for what they have done, but for tnjjjH "~3|l ner in which it was done. TheylM j«||l two mistakes in the outset been the means of stultifying an which other wis 3 would have been li|M Jl endorsed alike bj r Press and the first ] 1 vc ; they should have thori investigated the matter by the tion of the starter, owntr, and joc\t, ' h | if the evidence inculpated either 1, ow ler, or both, inflict the pum j where it was deserved. By the i however, which they pursued difeat'd the end which they : || to effect, and raised up sympitl ''|J Dan. O'Brien which would nevu had existence but for their one-sid; .t|| duct. As the matter was dealt v II was within the range of possibilityIdo not say probability —that th» -|| had been "got at" by an outs alt* '<l the owner was entirely innocent J swindle. However, no malted wlia t; e true state of ali'airs, the s't 3j ex .ibited a reckless imbecility in alp the jockey, who it was as plain a«h J day had pulled the horse, to go sen | while they visited condign punis 4 upon the owner, who mi | innocent, and that without giving I opportunity of clearing himself. J justice and fair play on | they examined the jockey it is jn\! sihle they might have learned .it jj instigation he had acted, but as it i'>? 4 find themselves in the unenviable pjj of a body whose action is not eiidotlsi .J those from whom they should lii'S look for support —the Committee .ififg | Club. T.iat the race was deliberateljl i there cannot be the slightest doubt,® hold that it was jumping to concl|| v with a vengeance to saddle the J criminaltv upon Mr. O'Brien, to tli•« % elusion of the man who actually j trated the swindle, wh; t ;er with out the owner's knowin Ige, being $ a ma'ter of tctil indifference t stewards. As the matter comes uptjj for consideration this evening, 1 advise the Club to retrace the steps! 3 taken, remove the disqualification, .i a severe caution guard against a j rencs of such shadv transactions v j restore to the New Zealand turf s*§ • grand horse as Fishhook has proved. j self to be. 1 ======== ' |