POLITE RUFFIANISM.

Oamaru Mail, Volume I, Issue 224, 10 January 1877, Page 2

POLITE RUFFIANISM.

Perhaps the most astonishing infractions of tqe thing known as good manners —infractions amounting to polite ruffianism—take place in a person's own house. Time was when hospitality had a meaning —when to eat of a man's salt, or to give of your bread to be broken, was to bind both giver and receiver in mutual ties strong and sacred. ISIow, the dinner that is given to the people avlio in their turn give dinners, is nothing but a display of pride on the one side, or the payment of a debt on the other. The real comfort and enjoyment of the guests count for little. Inharmonious elements are bracketed together, which carry their own ennui with them. It is surprising to note the number of social, subtle, but none the less ruffianly affronts that well-bred people permit themselves to offer to others. Are you talking happily ? Your hostess swoops down on you and takes away yoiir companions as a prize too precious for you to retain. This is an affront common from women to women, especially where the one who is to be annoyed is of the kind with, wlicm gentlemen like to talk. She is to be taught that she must not expect to monopolise the gentlemen. With that wonderful naivete of vulgarity not uncommon among English ladies, gentlemen are the confessed bonnes bouches of a room, and to be allowed only to the favorites of the hostess. Those whom it is desired to snub are interrupted in their conyersa_ tion, and made to feel that they have not been asked to amuse themselves, but because of social necessities with which personality has no concern. If this happens, as it most likely may, to a woman of middle age or to one of mediocre means,

it naturally causes a great deal of indigna- \ tion and heart-burning; which, is exactly y what the lady offending desires. It is meant to humiliate, and it carries out its intention. We once knew a lady who was obliged for self-respect to give up going to a certain house because of this. The hostess had the craze of not allowing any pleasant person to converse with her. So soon as she saw her talking to a man or woman with brains she swooped down and divided the pair, giving as a substitute the mest unformed boy or girl in the room. Yet the guest was a woman who, for reasons, had the right to expect good companionship, and the hostess was, by position and education, a lady. For all that, she was transgressing the liberty allowed her if she accepted the attentions of iljiasant people—of a womrn of mark or a man of distinction ; either of whom would be hailed off to someone eke thought more worthy of the honor, while she was turned down to her lower place.