ILL ASSORTED

NZ Truth, Issue 1198, 15 November 1928, Page 3

ILL ASSORTED

A Barnyard Barney N' Everything

(From "N.Z. Truth's" Whangarei Rep.) Twenty-nine years. Just fancy. And after that time they were only m agreement on one point and that was that they' never could agree. Nevertheless, Harriet had presented her William with eleven children.

THE hearing of an information for wilful failure to maintain against William. Moordaff Litt caused considerable amusement m the Magistrate's Court at Whangarei.

The case practically resolved itself into a hot verbal contest between William (an unusually diminutive and not over-clean gentleman) ■ and his better half, Harriet Litt. Perhaps we might even term her his better three-quarters, because the lady m the case was, to put it mildly, a very large female indeed. Championed by Lawyer Thorne.. she poured forth a tale of hard treatment at the hands of her little William.

When questioned by his worship as to whether little William had ever ill-treated, her, the lady warmed up to her tale. "Oh, yes, sir, he weren't a bit particular what he biffed at me the whole time we were married."

Pier evidence finished, his worship directed Litt to ask her any questions he might wish, provided .they were relevant and not impolite. "Yessir, thank you sir," said William, and rising, became voluble at once. "Now, look here sir — ." said S.M. Luxford, "but don't talk to me, you must ask your wife some questions." • '

"Yessir — I went to Auckland once sir, and got sick of being there and — "

The Bench (patiently): "Yes, yes, but ask your wife some questions."

William ,at last understood, and questioned 'his wife about her being hard to set on with. She strenuously refuted this suggestion and said that it was his fault entirely. They forthwith commenced a hot and rapid argument upon the point, but his worship made an excellent referee and separated them smartly from their verbal clinches.

"Are they fenced off?" queried his worship. "Oh yes, sir, but a fence wouldn't keep her out you know!" with a loud cackle.

The bench suggested that they might be able to live thus on the farm if the