The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1190, 20 September 1928, Page 1

The Critic

"FEWER poodle- dogs and. more babies," demands a well-known cleric. We trust the poodle- dogs will not ignore this appeal. # * * "QNE murder every 44 minutes committed m America last year." Those Yanks do certainly organize everything. ■ ■ .#"■■»'.•• -# pLOSE Game.— Sitting out; ' . . # , # * ATLANTIC crossing by 'plane having ** failed, "flyer says he will try once again and if he misses will travel by steamer ever after. Why this terrific self -punishment ? "UOTEL. Robbed."— Retribution. 11 # ..:■.# ,*. "THE Lure of the Motor," says a ■*• daily. It is certainly fascinating to be tangled up among the wheelß. #•■#.■'.# nOROTHY DIX asks: "What is .the * J . harm m a girl going 'about with, a married man?-' "Critic" asked his wife — and expects. to be well enough to return to duty next week. « # • MEWS item: An American girl tourist iV m Cairo rushed up to an itinerant lemonade seller, flung her arms round his neck, kissed him, and offereid him £700 to marry her. She 'said he resembled her dead lover. The lemonade man declined. There was a! young fellow sold fizz, And a Yankee girl sighted. his phlzz. v , She half-rielsoned his neck, ■ Promised love by the peck. He said, "Stop-it, you fool, here comes Liz!" ■'■•-'■ # ♦' - PAN our girls cook? Yes, especially their complexions. Their cheeks are beetroot red, and their necks flour white, their noses are rice powdered and their feet all kid. .■-., ..^,. r '--.--w*:v:->t-"''---". ■*-■ ■-■-■ ■:*■■■■■ ■••••^•■^ ■'■•'■■' . f :>- T\O girlß ' wea^braces? asks an- English "j'uiflge^ Not so that you could notice tharii! . ■■•'■".'".*■' *. .* /IN English judge asks if working. grirls should wear silk stockings. Well, as far as one can see— why not? ;*.'# ' . # . THE rich man who couldn't resißt stealing some rashers of bacon was evidently suffering from swine fever. # # #. LIOUSEWIFE asks how; to ' keep spoons free from egg stains. By always eating eggs with a knife. TANKS are being used against Amer- *■ lean mine-strikers. Mine-owners want to make success a dead certainty. #. ■ # *■

MOW that so many have been t# the *™ Pole, we think the next party should make it a bit harder. The suggestion m the picture should appeal.. : * # ■■;* DROFESSOR declares that New Zea- * landers are not so tall.— Apparently we have been measured by the stories told m Government publicity pamp.hr lets. • ■'■■ , * * * ■ A NUMBER of candidates' at the *"* forthcoming general elections will reach a majority m November. At present they prattle like infants. #■..-# # . . • ' MAN who lost £150 found a lily stalk m his pocket. An emblem of the thief's purity? : ! • *' * ' TO use invective was at one time con- *" sidered unparliamentary. But to fail to use it nowadays is to neglect the basic principle of politics, as interpreted by New Zealand politicians. ;»* * . NEW ZEALAND doctor declares that "Baby's dummy is an invention of the devil." No wonder the little rascals can raise h — when you take ..the dummy away. I*# * . CUBURBAN residents are kicking about the noise from aU -night taxis. The sound we personally find unbearable is the constant ticking of the meters. ##* . - . r\AILT paper remarks that although two prisoners saw a third assault; a warder, "they did not go to thel warder's assistance." It is understood, however, that they were deeply grieved at the unfortunate fellow's plight. . TASMANIA has the highest birthrate * m the Empire. Something forj Tassle to kid itself about. "■ .#*,-. # # BARS are being installed on crosschannel aeroplanes. A nip Jn the air! . . . # #.■"•••. , A MAN has found a threepenny bit ** m a sheep's, tongue. Born with a silver tray m its mouth! "CIGNEDI, Anti-War Paott" Jubilant ° headline m daily p%per. The have abolished warBut have you heard of these?— The medicoes have Bigrned a pact Abolishing disease! The parsons with a fountain-pen Have just abolished Bin, And weathermen, m counpil grave, Signed endless summer m. So now, If evil still remains, Blame not the noble band Who took the ills of all the world To fix 'em, pen m hand; ■ ■ - The signatures are fair and round — Go, gaze on them, and -think: "If all ie aff it wao before, i