EUPHEMIA NOT EUPHONIOUS

NZ Truth, Issue 1188, 6 September 1928, Page 8

EUPHEMIA NOT EUPHONIOUS

(From "N.Z. Truth's" Special Auckland Representative.) «IK/ELL, spare me days — what's come over the old woman!" Some " such exclamation as this probably crossed the lips of Henry Christian Lawrence Hansen, an elderly man, when, instead of finding his wife waiting for him, on reaching home after his day's work, he discovered the following note on the table, scribbled on a bit of an Ostend circular: "You will quite understand, I won't come back, so 1 want to know what you intend doing, as I am going to sell things up; they all belong to me. Don't think I will let you off without giving me money, but don't want to have to take it to court, as I won't come back. You re the sufferer." Henry, no doubt, scratched his head when he had grasped the full contents of this effusion. He set to work to get his own tea. ( After he married Mary 'in 1901, 'way over m Ballarat, they got on well, so runs the family story, and then came over to New Zealand. For six and a-half years they lived at Waikino, but the gay life of that township seems to have .set Mary going, for, as Henry's counsel, Lawyer J. J. Sullivan, told Judge Reed m the Auckland Supreme Court last week, she took to going out at night— and stayed out late. She was also the recipient of presents, which did not please her hardworking spouse. The crash came when Mary left the note — and left herself, never to return. Mary Euphemia, the runaway wife, however, had no intention of letting her man have the legal proceedings all on his own. Through her counsel, Lawyer Dickson, she had countered his petition for divorce on the ground of desertion by counter-petitioning on the same % ground. Exactly how Mary arrived at this line of reasoning was not disclosed, as Henry had never left the place where she had left him. As Judge Reed said, when he had listened for spme little while to legal argument: "They seem to want the public to know all about their affairs." Mary's legal adviser announced that the real questions were his client's health and maintenance; as to the petitioner's claim for a decree, there was a good answer. Lawyer Sullivan: "If my friend allows tho divorce to go through we are prepared to make arrangements for her maintenance." He then went~6M to relate how it was alleged by Henry that Mary tyad not played the game with some £140, which moneys she should have paid into the building society while they were at Waikino, but her husband had found that this money was never used for the purpose for which it was intended. He was left, when Mary cleared out, with that sum m arrears. It was then suggested by Lawyer Dickson that Mary should be granted her petition for divorce, seemingly on the basis of rather more than eaual rights, liis contention being that when there was a cross-petition* the court should give the woman the benefit of any doubt. Perhaps, was his honor's suggestion, they might both be granted a decree. After a' short adjournment for the legal men to discuss certain points, the court resumed. Henry, having consented to allow Mary £1/2/6 per week, which order was to be embodied m the decree, Judge Reed granted him freedom m three months' time, while th» wife's counter- petition was vvitkdrftyt/n*

Despite all his allegations and com : plaints against his wife, -Martin said he was quite willing to "take her back." Lawj'er Scott: You say she is a badtempered woman; a bad cook; she is one of the frying-pan brigade, yet still you say you will take her back. Are you genuine m that? — Oh, yes. Sure? — Oh, yes. For what business do you use your car? — Just running about town. H'm! I wonder how many other boot salesmen require a car to do their business? — I dunno (vaguely). What business do you transact when you go round the city m that car of yours? — Oh, I go down to the bank. So you want a car to go to the bank? —Oh, no, not only for that, you know. Now, isn't that car a perfect luxury? —Oh, partly (smiling slightly). But the main use of that car is at nights, after the shop closes, isn't it? — Well, I use it mostly at week-ends. Counsel (showing Martin a photograph) : Isn't that a rather unusual photograph? — No (airily). Just 7an average one. Just an average one, with a lady on your knee? — Just an average one, y'know. I don't know anything about those "averages." Did you have any drink that night?— One. I suppose it would be a pony shandy (sarcastically) ?— Yes (laughter). "Is it usual for strange women to be sitting on your knee m familiar attitudes? I suppose Mr. Leicester will admit the evidence of this photograph?" Lawyer Leicester (smiling slightly): "She certainly seems to be squeezed!" Counsel (to witness) : Would ' you have objected to. coming home and finding your wife m such a position with Harry?-— That's not an "attitude" (laughter); What games do they play at this Courtenay Club?— Oh, ping-pong and billiards. And you played? — Billiards. Now, isn't it true that this club is the legitimate successor to the Premier Club, which was raided the other day? j^Not that I know of. [