The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1186, 23 August 1928, Page 1

The Critic

ABANDONED child was left m a bath says an exchange. — Mother threw m the towel. ' # # * DANDITS robbed an American newspaper office and stole £1400. No shots were fired. But you can bet the unpaid reporters made a loud report. #•■#•■ * . TUNNET drinks four quarts of milk daily. — And he has a cow ,of a j punch! ■ * ' ■ # # # "COMETIMES the wheels of justice run on flat tyres." There is plenty of wind at the law courts, nevertheless. .* • • "YJJ7HERE are the dead?— G. K. Chesterton's search," says a daily. — Ask any punter. #■ # # TROUBLE has broken out m a rubber factory because a man wab transferred from one section to another. — Want him bounced back.

"I ESS clothing and. more apples," is ** the latest slogan. It was tried m Eden — and ended m the Fall. # # * PLERIG exhorts women to "place their faith, not m cosmetics, but m conversion." Miss Flapper, interviewed yesterday, said: "That's only his opinion. For my part, I think a woman can , overdo this face-lifting business." # # * DAIL.WAY shares m England lately **• fell £100,000,000. , Rolling stock. * . ' * # "P ARSON Attacks Women's Dress.", * Why doesn't he pick on something his own size? . . # # * DIG CHIEF WHITE EAGLE, Visiting London, has had his views on women's . clothes published. A Read Indian. * * * UNGLISH Duke keeps a farm on his " yacht. Hawsers and Cowes, we presume, with the ancient family tree for fodder. • #** . . THIS sky-writing is a bit above most people. [ * ..#■-. • "TELEVOX," says a U.S. cable, is a ■* marvel who talks, walks, and moves by orders. He ought to be known as "Televox, M.P." ; . . • . * • ' • |

IT'S not for nothing that the chap * who gets married m the last few pages is always referred to as "the hero." # # * DEPORTED that the coal trade is ** dull. There's generally a dark outlook for. this class of goods. ## * ■ pANADA seems to have put the *" "ague" m the League of Nations peace pact. # # # DUSSIAN woman strangled her hus- **• band because he cut off: his beard. The change did not, apparently, hirsute. # * * "WAVE Trap."— 3/6 a time for mak- " ing them "permanent." «#■ " • ; THE difference between a sermon and •*• a political speech is that one lulls and the other gulls. # # # DROHIBITIONIST objects to the *■ liquor that makes a man "crying drunk." — Suggested anthem for the anti-liquor forces, "Oh, dry those tears!" # # # "LIE danced with rage when he saw ** the 1 damage done to . the turf by the inexperienced golfer." — Extract from a 7d. thriller. — To the tune of "The Wearing of the Green?" ■ •■ # # "CILENCE is golden."— -And doesn't *■* the telephone, subscriber know it I # * " '* "I ATE Sport." "Big Haul of Purs." > *"* —Headings from a column m a daily. — The thieves, of course, scored. # # ♦ . "T\o you laugh m your sleep?" asks v an anxious writer. Well, Critio did once, but the wife heard him. # # . ■*.'.... LJAIR and dresses will be worn longer 11 next year. — If such Is the case, so will the stockings with the ladders m .thero.