The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1186, 23 August 1928, Page 1

The Critic

DREACH ,of promise often means a corresponding breach m the banking account. # # * TNCOMB Attacks. *■'..# # * HEAD men tell no tales. For confir- " mation see the reports of inquiries by the stipes.. . x • • • "CTR*ANGE Disease — Caught on Beaches," says a newspaper. Flapperitis ? * * * AT Nashville (U.S.A.) eleven insane criminals escaped when the asylum caught fire. They 'probably wanted to nominate for the American elections. .•■ • • • pOLICEMAN told a British Princess to put an exhibit down at the Olympia Show and she obeyed. — She feared he might become Savidge if she didn't. «•••;..-. ' -: ' ■■ . "•■• #■ ' „ # ■

ANSWER to correspondent: "Twelve months." To which we may add the free advice, "So don't I" "DINGS of "Death" is the title of a * sensation-providing story. At first we thought it meant those who went west every time the girl said: "Wrong number." . # # * • "QENERAL Nobile got a cool reception m Norway. 1 ' — Been having a rather cold time lately. ## * . "DECAUSE the natives of Melanesia killed the first missionary to arrive there, the Church took its own revenge," declares a preacher. "Now there are a dozen bishops and umpteen hundred missionaries there." — That ought to learn 'em. # * # "CXN the Rocks."— What the young husband thinks when he tastes the bride's first batch of cakes. # # # THE Turkish team appeared at the 1 Olympic Games m Oxford bags. — Wanted a loose leg, no doubt. #' * # "DUTTER is firmer," writes a flnancial genius.— News off the ice! # * * MOTORIST was told by a coroner to *'* "buy a wheel-barrow."— -How could he? They don't sell 'em on terms. # *» •

"C I RLS nowadays are not what tHey « used to be." . •• # ". * * A SCIENTIST avers that it is easy to make synthetic milk. — The milkman solved the problem, long ago. # . * # TWO marathon dancers were gaoled 1 for stealing. That ought to make them watch their step. *. * * AS the clock struck, a man timed his ■ blows on- the fellow who had alienated his .wife's affections.—Because he had ticked on! with his missus? • *.- ■ * MOSLEM women are throwing: off *** their shackles, declares a missionary. And, to be up-to-date, most of their clothes, no doubt. * # #' W/HEN^will they prohibit Prohibition? VIEWS Item: "Police search for Cal- *' lous Road-Hog." Let's hope they bring: home the bacon. # # • W/OM4N bit the Greek Premier's W hand. Chewing over some little grievance? ' 7 # ♦ • TNMATE of lunatic asylum, after at- * tacking warder, explained that he did it because he was sick lof work. This raises a grave doubt as to whether he is really insane. # # # ■ "pOCHET Is the world's greatest tennis player," declares Tilden.: Quite so— didn't he beat Tilden? # # # DOCTORS say winter weather is healthy, but people with colds tell us that it is a-tishoo of lies. • . • "pOULD not give lawful excuse for *■*'.' being m hotel after closing time." says a daily, Naturally, what is