The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1179, 5 July 1928, Page 1

The Critic

A SHORTAGE of motor-cars is re- ™ ported m RussU. In that case, the supply of pedestrians ought to last for years; * * *.*■,.■• "MOST of the Birthday, honors went - I * l to Civil Servants," says a contemporary. Weil, knights are for sleeping. ;^^lTth^ilarid- : oicr- a&7bi'!4o: T' ' ■ '■;/• ' \ * .■#,.* THREE [stars often cause an eclipse. -.-''* * * PLAIRVOYANT left £50,362. Real fortune-telling. ; • ■ c * .* ■ ' MODERN chickens have very little -dressing. ' . , * * * A LD dictionaries should be confiscated •■V m , America. There's whisky, m every one. !">..* * # . DECAUSE its citizens recently made *-* it ,'clear that they didn't like Italians, ; Jugo-Slavia has apologized to Italy. ; Now they do, we suppose. #■•-..#•. . # "DUY! Buy British goods!" reads a D poster. Why. not "Bye-Bye foreign goods!" i*# ■ . * DIRTH notice: "Mrs. Gee— ie son." v "Gosh! . # . . :«' * "VV7HEN is a man's happiest time?" w asks, the Rev. Ti.E. Ruth. Probably the day before he is married. * * ' .* TF we're really. likely to have, prohibi.- . tion, wouldn't it be as well for Parliament right now to fix the afterprohibition price of beer? * # * ARCHBISHOP WRIGHT says that Jutland was a signal victory. We. didn't know the battle w r as over.-

W7ELL-KNOWN- politician, discussing • the gland treatment the other day, told a reportei* he'd like to live to bo 240. ,''■• f Casanova Voronoff Jones Was reduced to a bundle of skin and ; bones; ' .-,' His thirtieth youth was well-nigh pasfc, And ho was due for the grave at last — Which was no -'wonder, because you see, . ' £ He'd utined twri hundred arid sixtythree. '.--.■' The parson came and the parson went, But Voronoff Jones would hot repent, Although, as the parson pointed out, His past put the future much m doubt — "There's just one reason," . said Jones, "that I Shall never be ready at all to die." His relatives murmured, "Tell us what!" Said 'Voronoff Jones, "I'd rather not. But from what I reald and from what j hear, _'.'■.. They'll be wearing 'em shorter still . . next year. . -.... ." Arid having "said it, m accents' fretful, He died reluctant and most regretful. ' #: * . "'. #."""'' HUMMING. TAXES". * •'.*-,-.'' ■ *:.'•■ .#• . .''■ *■' MARTIN LUCKIE has been promised quite .a|lbt of support when he con-, tests Wellington South at the general election. Lucky Martin— She'll need it! THE Auckland City 'Council has is^ . sued instructions for the draping of nude statues originally designed for' a new theatre. . We understand thai; a flapper's street- dress, submitted by the sculptor asj a pattern for the completion of thefwork, was not approved by the' City Fathers. ' ■-... *7. # # • • ■ "AUCKLAND SUN" caption : 'fWana-; "' watu, (Too." It looks 7as if there was a student of Yankee movie titio's on the stal£.^ - . -,- T t .; L ''. j ■"'"" . "*.'."■" ■