The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1174, 31 May 1928, Page 1

The Critic

CLAPPERS are great believers m the male-order business. *' * * " A IRY nothings" used to' be what ; women talked. Now they are what women wear. # * • TCE for girls' complexions is advised. Are cold stares and freezing looks to be the rule on morning trams? • # # THERE are no touching scenes m .Aberdeen. :r-. : -. v V':,;;,v*^,. ..;' ; : . ?*»:■;• -- ; *■';,■ ■'*■■ '■:■:■■■■■■-

PIO DE JANIERO councillors propose to abolish lamp-posts. We shall continue to cling to ours. * * * TROUBLE with our politicians is that they turn all State puzzles into cross words. • • • "WHAT is the spirit that dominates some of our public men?" demands a Cabinet Minister. Well, almost any decent brand. • # # THE reason a Scot will not sit with his face towards the rear of the tram is that he hates to see everything going away from him! ♦ # * THE great Beethoven's musical manuscripts brought over £1000 at a recent sale. Golden notes.

COMETHING the world has never asked for: Moustache-mugs for beer-drinkers.

A SCOTTISH councillor suggests the display of artistic advertisements m the Glasgow trams to give embarrassed male passengers something to look at instead of the knees and wicked eyes of scantily-clad flappers. Why not put the advts. on the flappers' knees?

* * * "I^ITTEN Goes to Cabaret." Joined the other cats. • • •

"HRIFT to crime. Untrained boys." Surely there should be indentures for burglars.

POUNTRY patient has had the skin of his stomach grafted on to his arm. Puzzle: If he gets a "tummyache" will he think he's bumped ■ his "funny-bone?" * * *

The silkworm spun his* warm cocoon Beneath a Golden China moon — He spun the magic stuff that goes To make the fateful flapper's hose, And as he spun he softly said: "A worm will turn — a wise man's head." * # # POCKATOO is said to have sworn over the radio. No doubt many listened ec-static-ally. * '* • DING-PONG has come back into popularity. Understood that local ludo teams are undergoing intensive training. • • # THE surf this winter is reported to 1 be extraordinarily warm. Not over the effect of those bathing costumes yet. « • * "r^QMINION": "Do you always receive value for your money?" Candidly, no; but we don't grudge the twopence. I # # # CLERGYMAN has been fined for selling moth-infected apples. A clergyman should know that no good could come of apples! • * ♦ "IJERALD" headline: "Plus Fours as 1 * disguise." .We knew they had 3ome purpose^ j