EASILY UPSET

NZ Truth, Issue 1150, 15 December 1927, Page 7

EASILY UPSET

Two Drops of Whisky Made Him Rash (From "N.Z. Truth's" Special Christchurch Rep.) Looking the picture of infinite baby innocence in spite of the physical disadvantage of hard and cunning features, he gazed hopefully at the bench; AND then a hardened crook put up his tale. "I had two little drops of whisky, sir, and it upset me. It was a pure mistake," he wheedled. "Oh, did it? A pure mistake, eh?" A long list was perused and then the chopper fell. "Three months' imprisonment, this time," said Magistrate Mosley, and once more Joseph Hogan Byrne left the dock en route to gaol. Byrne's reputation as a crook and a law breaker is a formidable one and when the S.M. became somewhat breathless, scanning his "list" he put it down and iwithout further ado gave Byrne his stretch. I the Palm " ' It Is not as though ho was unacquainted with the police. He knows them and they know him intimately, and the relationship between them has extended over a lengthy period. His effrontery will be appreciated when it is stated that he calmly walked into the Sydenham Police Station the other evening, and taking advantage of the temporary absence of a constable, helped himself to a brief bag containing a thermos flask which was the property of Constable Norris. Needless to say he did not wait to explain matters, and it was some time later when Norris discovered his loss. Also, needless to «ay, no time was lost by the police in getting on the •track of the bag and contents, and in due course Byrne was run to earth and asked to give an account of himself. But, oh, the very idea of his having stolen the constable's property! Nonsense, he would not do such a thing, he expostulated, and so on. But when Norris' brief bag was found in his possession, minus the constable's flask, Byrne's story was badly dented, if not completely broken. Still, he had a few arguments left and he employed them. ' "Well, its iike this,' he confided, "I have a bag just like that—one containing two empty tea bottles, and I had two drops of whisky which completely upset me/ but jUSt how it happened, well—search me." It was the prior search that had been his undoing. So before Magistrate Mosley came Joseph, looking very innocent and not a little injured in dignity. i TWO DROPS—UPSET ""Well, what have you to say for yourself," demanded the S.M. when the .story of Byrne's visit to the station had been told. "Well, sir, I had two drops of whisky .•md it properly upset me. The whole thing -\vQs a pure mistake," he said. "Oh, do you often make pure mistakes like this?" Joseph said he did not. "You will be convicted," was the next comforter from the bench who then .glanced through Byrne's (hefty list of previous convictions. Joseph then got in a few words about his old and dying mother. "And this is just the sort of thing to kill her, isn't it?" put in the S.M. "Now lot us see," he went on, scanning the list, "wounding with intent to rob, breaking and entering, vagrancy, rlninkenneKs —oh -yea, three months* imprisonment."