The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 1144, 3 November 1927, Page 1

The Critic

"TMPULSIVE fireman," says a daily heading. Well, a fireman has to do^iot Jin the heat pf the momeirt,-.* TF married men are supposed to have better halves, single men prefer their own quarters. * * * YOU can never tip a waiter enough to lose his balance. THE majority of tailors go m for farreaching measures. F* * * AMILY feud ends m court," says a Christchurch paper. A lot of them end out of court, too. THE Bishop of Birmingham seems to have been up to monkey tricks. * # * TOLL of the road. Motorists' fees. 4& # 3t A . CHRISTCHURCH woman named Leader was unsuccessfully proceeded against for an alleged assault. It wouldn't have been the first leader to give offence. * * # TT is officially denied that T. K. Sidey has any business connection with Sunlight soap works. * * * THE Auckland Presbytery denounced *■ tin hares. More concerned with tin plates, presumably. * * * CHE knows her onions. The boys say they have seen her peeling at the beach. | * * * "TT is really terribly good of you to ■*■ be so stunning," said the wife as her husband clubbed her with a beer bottle.

QUR girls are quite rightly up m arms on occasions. * * * "WHO is the baby of the House?" " asks a seeker of political truth. Really, there are co many members who require to be nursed and sung to sleep, the answer is difficult. #' « * "A MYSTERIOUS tragedy is report- ** ed," says a thrilling cable. . When has one NOT been reported? •' TF there is a duty on clocks, there will - 1 be no duty upon a man buying stockings with clocks on them, surely? # # ♦ THE advice you get from a lot of so--1 called optical people is nothing but eye 7 wash. TT is a man's own fault if he drinks A too much, but it is his friend's fault if he pays for it. * * # CUMMER- TIME. Some are only short sentence men. « # » T K. SIDEY would make a splendid * creditor, seeing that he would be keen to give a debtor time. « * # TRADE advertisement: "Take care of * your eye-sight." It is advisable m this connection to do away with seaside residences. * * ♦ rSQUIMEAUX are fond of tallow and *-* fat. Admittedly, we could not hold a candle to them. # # # . TT is not correct to say that the ■*• Scotsman from Dunedm invariably has a drink all round with the boys and then sings "Drink to me only with thine eyes." • - • 4t # DUNTERS will be putting a lot of * money down south next week. . ♦ # * CASHION note: "Moreover, the chif- * fon frock that is so diaphanous that it can be folded into an ordinary business envelope. . . ." A-ddress-ed envelope, presumably. }'