WILD WOWSERS.

NZ Truth, Issue 144, 21 March 1908, Page 8

WILD WOWSERS.

Methodistical Melbourne Mouthers.

It is really setting about time that the people of Australia determined that the cant of the modern Pharij sees, variously called Puritans, Social Purists, Nonconformist Consciencers, and "Wowsers," should not become the means of such persons attaining political pre-eminence, or influence, m the community. They ] are getting "on the nerves" of ordinary folk. Yet two ranters of the [ wowser type— Mauser and Judkans— • I have recently received a considerable set-back m their career of KV.rristian cant that ought, if they had not fronts of brass, to have mad 3 them retire into obscurity for a while. It, however, had no such effect. Although Postmaster-General Manger has been convicted, upon abundant reputable testimony, of having cone to the largest Wesleyan meetingplace m Sydney, and of there . having shamelessly slandered a large body of industrio.us workers, he neiiher apologises nor -retracts his slanders. On th© contrary, this prating, pragmatical pretentious Pharisee was actually to be found pounding a pulpit and banging a Bible m a Melbourne church last Sunday, while, he "held forth" upon what he was pleased to term "True Conservatism." True Conservatism, indeed ! The truest Conservatism on the part of Mauger would be to keep a titrht reifl--n on his tongue, until he had carefully sifted Ms alleged "facts/'* • ' * • Then there is J-awful Judkins, the man that was, some months ago, actually crowned by a number of harebrained zealots who styled Judkins "the noble-hearted, the lion-hearted, the true-hearted Judkins." This is the fellow that, m December, 1906, | after the conductor of ''Truth" had, m the Melbourne issue (which is nuhlished on a Friday), exposed the scandalous conduct of Sir Samuel Gillott— a member at that time of the Government of Victoria, who lent money ,on mortgage to the bro-thel-keeper, Madame Brussels—actually pretended on the following Sunday, at a meeting m the Temperance Hall, that he was then and there, for the first time, exposing and denouncing Gillott. Why, the Puritanical, pulpit-pounding puke. ! he .had never said a word until "Truth" dealt with the- matter, and then he merely repeated what had already been, stated m "Truth" two days - before Judkins had opened his lantern jaws. J-awful Judkins asserted, however, that he had known the facts of the Gillott-Madame Brussels matter for some time, but that he had been away on a fortnight's holiday, and had, for this reason, "put it off." He added, furthermore, that he only spoke of it because girls were "going to ruin" m M-elbournc every day. A fine beauty Judkins thus showed himself to be to pese as a social purist ! Girls were "going to ruin," Judkins Relieved it- to 'l;c Ms duty to save them, and yet — he kept silence and went away on a holiday jaunt ! • w •' Lately, Judkins finds himself again m a "devil of a hole," and, m his efforts to set out, he wriggles like a fat grub trying to elude a hungry hlackfellow. It will be remembered that m some unexplained way, Mr 0. C. Bcale became a Federal Royal Commissioner ,to report on Secret Drugs ami Rostrums. It docs not appear that Mr Beale had received any special training to deal with the matter, but he had taken up the study of secret drugs and nostrums as a hobby, and seems to have become a master of the subject of his study. When his report appeared, it was a- "snorter"'; and loud were the howls . of rage from those accustomed to deal m the drugs and nostrums that he condemned. Indeed, there was some wholesome and caustic truth-telling m the report, and many of the persons whom Beale blistered and bastinadoed "gave it lip" loudly and lustily. Among those whom Beale doughtily denounced was Stead, of the "Review of Reviews," the Australian edition of which is edited by J awful. Judkins. Bcale very prettily put it that the "Review of Reviews" was' ''one of the snippet serials which live, like epiphytes, upon the juices of healthy journalism" ; andj he proceeded to show that Judkins's "snippet serial" published indecent matter, stuff attempting to justify contraception and abortion and "cures" that were no cures. What made it worse, was the fact that the "Refuse of Refuse" actually guaranteed the genuineness of the nostrums that it advertised. • * ■ Now, , "Juddy," who poses as a paragon of purity and a pattern of propriety, did not rush forward to deny the statements made by Mr 0. C. Beale — as a Royal Commissioner, let it be borne m mind— but he remained singularly silent, with the result that he was at last asked to explain the reason of his remarkable silence. The demands for an explanation became so frequent and per^ ristent thai;, according to the Melbourne "Argus" of the 29th ultimo, Judkins at last unclosed his jaws, -on the matter of Beale's report on the precious periodical presided over by Jawful Judkins. This was m the Melbourne Temperance Hall on Friday, tne 28th ultimo. Mark, however, how this peddler of Puritanical poppycock palters. • * « Royal- Commissioner Beale showed that Stead's "Review of Reviews" (edited by Jawful Judkins) reprinted from the "Annals of Psychical Science" an article that could only have appeared m, the "Annals" as the result of an error of judgment on the part of its editors. This article appeared m the "Annals" (for November, 1906. A copy of the issue m question lies before us as we write. The article is entitled "The HathaYoga and Raja- Yoga of India." It is a disgusting production, and alleges that the writer of the article has seen a naked ilndian "place himself m water" and transform himself m a certain way, into a human fountain. We have occasionally renroduced articles from the "Annals"— but we drew the line at" this latest lucubration of Mrs Besant. Not so Stead, however ; she republished it, and sold.it m Australasia with Ihe endorsement of that proper and nrccise pulpit-pounder Judkins. This .was one of the journalistic 'outrages

to which Beale's report called attention.

What does "Juddy" say, however? Why, that this had nothing to.- do with the question of secret drucs or race suicide. Suppose it had not. Does this alter the fact that "Juddy" and Stead pose as protagonists of purity? Where is their excuse for spreading broadcast a filthy story as to the exceedingly revolting things that that nasty old woman, Mrs Besant, says Indian Yogis can do with their • odiously odorous persons ? Judkins is a pretentious prevaricator. • . • * But this Judkins man is barefaced ; he has the hide to say, or to imply, that same of the drink-cure nostrums he advertises are "known to do good." What are they ? Where is the "drink cure" that can remove the neurosis of the dipsomaniac ? There was a dipsomaniacl imposter framed Caulfield (now dead) who used to assert that he had a cure for drunkenness ; and he made much money out of his assertion. We exposed the scamp m these columns, and he had the hardihood several times to go to law against us ; but on no occasion did he prove that he really did possess a cure for drunkenness ; he could not even cure himself. Royal Commissioner Beale does right to regard all drugs for the cure of the "diink-habit" with grave suspicion. .« ■■■ « « "Juddy" shuffles, too, when be says that Stead published "without comment" Mrs Macffe/dyen's defence of prevention of conception,' and, hints at the assumed "right" (atrocious "right !") of a mother to destroy,, unborn life. The mere fact that a" pernicious work is published "without comment" does not justify the publisher m poisoning with it the minds Wf the people. As for the "Review's" advertisements, why Stead and "Juddy" actually go so far as to guarantee their genuineness, whether they be "hair-restorers" or patent medicines ! * * «" Both Jawful Judkins and his 'elevated "Brother," "Major" Manger, are regrettable signs of the times. They show that, even m the Twentieth Century m Australia, there must be men capable of the folly and fanaticism that made cruel Calvin the triumphant tyrant of Geneva hundreds of years ago. A mouthing, Methodistical Maw-woarm-like Mauger actual I v becomes Postmaster-Gener-al of the Australian Commonwealth, while a maudlin mob crowns Jawful Judkins. God help Australia ! God save it from the prating, postu.rino:, plate-pushing, pelf-pouching, pulpitpounding, prank-performing;, pragmatists of Puritanism !— Melbourne j "Truth."