A PALMERSTON PUB.

NZ Truth, Issue 138, 8 February 1908, Page 5

A PALMERSTON PUB.

A TIMELY TALK TO TUCKER Concerning the Club Caravanserai. Mutters Meitioned Merely for Public Interest. It's dangerously close to blasphemy or lese Majeste, or even anarchy, not forgetting regicide, to say anything against Tucker's Club pub at Palmerston N. because it's -reckoned a good sort of pubhery, where tourists are fed like fighting cocks and where everything is tony and classy, and where the charge per day runs to something like half a quid. People who can afford to stay at the Club pub, Palmerston N.„ think it a decent sort of joint, principally because they pay ten bob a day. but there are not many m Palmerston N. who put pub-keeDer Tucker m the same class as his hotel. Indeed, it is reluctantly dragged from this respectable and usually well-informed iournal that Tucker isn't any class at all. He's a pig m his manners, and he doesn't treat his servants as a man should, and he has a very nasty way of being nasty, and he hasn't got it -all on his own, as "these few remarks mieht help ,to convince Tucker, who makes a crust by providing: tucker for other people. No doubt Mr Tucker will scorn "Truth" with a great scorn, and say the naper is a liar, and he is herewith offered reasonable space m these valuable columns to pTove the paper a liar, or else he can adopt other methods to give his side of the version. First of all, "Truth" reckons Tucker is a pointer, a dirty, mean, sort of a pointer, who m his DIRTY, MEAN SORT OF WAY, doesn't hesitate to bilk a servant of half a week's wages, well knowing the said servant cannot afford to waste time to drag the pointer before the Court and thus show the world what a paltry fellow "Tucky" is. This is one of the many things this paper is going tp have a heart to heart talk with this skinfliwt over. Recently a servant, who gave a week's notice, got his wages, there were about three weeks' due, and Tucker weighed m about half-a-<|uid or so short. Naturally the waiter, as he happened to be, bucked, and Tucker snorted like an enraged bull, and made some sort of a senseless threat that -he would not pay up anything. Anyhow, he kept back half a week's wages, and that waiter ought to have summoned his : e_yboss, because courts exist to bring I bouncers and pointers of the Tucker i"»e to their proper bearings. Tufck- I er being., perhaps, .the posseisor of a banking account, thinks he is on the same social plane as his boarders, and apes the toff tourist and "uts on a lot of dog, and orders his ' servants j about like slaves, which shows, of| course, that '-'Tucky" is jumped up. I and tp protect everybody from this ! sort (of snob. the,te ought to be a! snecial Act of Parliament. Natural- j ly, When this seller of sh^noo, this i of a purge-purveyor, has no! time for his white servants, he can find a hell of a lot of time for \ Chows, and, consequently, he keeps two of the leprous breed on the premises, and looks after them as a father, and even eives 'them beer, one Must ncr day, and if the whites want it they have to p^ay for it. More- ' over, where there is a row when white men and women object to being BOSSED BY A YELLOW MONGREL, the Chows always get a good hearing, and the whites are allowed to believe that Tucker thinks them dirt beneath his daisy-roots. Even the Chow slushy is a firm favorite, no, doubt because he's cheap, and does any dirty work that white people were never intended to do. So it can be gathered from these few pertinent observations, all intended for Mr Tucker's own good, that the said Tucker is, a rotter and. a disgrace to, his white, bide, and that he Ought to be a Mandarin and call himself Tuck Ah, or something eqiually silly. Anyhow, 'TTruth" did not set out to abuse Tucker on general principles^ It is not prone to be personally offensive, and wants to do good for others. Therefore, for furtherance of its rntission for good, iits gospel of fair treatment to the under-dog, and its general hatred of humbugs and pointers and snobs etc., it directs the. attention of the Palmerston Inspector of Nuisances or the Health Department, or the police, or the public, or even Tucker himself, to the accommodation provided for servants at this Club pub, and if it is found that the said dosseries are not within the meaning of the Act, and are not fit for human ' occupation, then let somethine happen. It won't matter much if Mt Tucker IS BROUGHT BEFORE THE COURT and' charged, or even fined, or warned to be more careful, or told that he ought to be ashamed of himself. Nothing matters much nohow, but it migjht be just as well if the Inspector of Palmerston N. paid a visit to see foi- < himself if servants sleep m what were originally stables, and whether the said servants are quartered where the surroundings are sweet and wholesome, and it might be seen if the place is the sort of doss-house where a pig could pig, if not with dignity. then with comfort. Of course, Mr Tucker __i(ght not be*, cognisant of what transpires m the kitchen or the vicinity of the cookhouse, and he might not be aware how things stand with the poultry executioner, who daily dips his "dooks" m the gore of ducks and fowls and other birds, and it might not interest hfaa fto know that the individual who f'Vjps all this never cleans himself mmi one week end to another. "Truth" says Mr Tucker might not know this, and it is tellin" him, and letting his boarders know how things are. If "Truth" thought it would not hurt Mr Tucker's feelings, it might ask him if he Considers it qaiite the nroper thing for the poultry murderer to sit m the kitchen MASSACRING L\IVE STOCK, that, mighty-hunter like, he has chased through the forest on the top of his scalp. Of course, it is like , "Truth's" impudence to Kay all these : things, but it's a cheeky paner, and it doesn't give a damn for Tucker or his pub or anybody or anything, and -. it hopes things m this pub will improve. I