A TINWALD TYKE.

NZ Truth, Issue 138, 8 February 1908, Page 5

A TINWALD TYKE.

WESLEYAN WOWSER WORRIED The Sunday-school Teacher and the Maid. the Trumps dl Tiav. aid Trap aed Tron_ce a Twicer. There is a poor, inofiensive little spot on the face ol this "God's Own" of ours called IHnwald. It is just south of the , prohib. town of Ashburton, and like Ashburton, it contains a specimen or two of lovely wowseri&ri. Tinwald never did anything wicked m its life, and it is darned hard luck that it has to suffer at least one individual, who is such a bounder that he's bound to get shut out of heaven and hell. He belongs to the Wesley an , persuasion and is, of course, a violent advocate of teetotalism, a Sunday School teacher, a band-of-Jjope man, and an oily, slimy sort of sausage generally." He's a married man with a small . family, and he lov.s to preach the Word of 'rod, but that isn't the only thing he loves, his wife isn't either. He has his eye on a young and tender maid, at least he had ; he hasn't now. There happens to bo m Tinwald •A SWEET LITTLE MAID, who is_ no fool, but keeps a few hundredweight of .com__on stored up m her brain-box. This Wesley an bounder, . this preacher of the Word, this Sunday School teacher, this advocate of pure morals and teetotalism, proposed to make this maid his mistress. He made his meaning pretty plain and promised to meet her at a given spot one evening. The .girl let him, t&ink the cards were coming his way, f>nd promised to make the meet. f_ he was there all right. But so were about 20 of her friends of both sexes. THey <stocd handy, k and when the Wes>leyan bounder Sunday school teacher began, his prurient, pranks, the aforesaid sweet maid gave a yell and the mob rushed forth like a Zulu impi with its battle blood up. The , male portion of the stampede pulled his clothes off ahd the females got sticks and switches and lambasted blue blazes out ofthe unfortunate sooner. HE YELLED FOR MERCY, as any of his kidney do when found out, but women aren't given to mercy once their fighting spirit is up, and they iust belted on. "Be merciful, Tom," he beseeched one of his assailants, but Tom only answered, "Yo.u are a model man to teach my children at Sunday School," and the game, went on harder than ever. It would have been an Opimake case over again, sure enough, if there had been any tar and feathers handy, but there wasn't, so they had to content themselves with chasing him up and down the road for over an hour, and then they chased him home. "What will your wife say ?" inquired one of the women, as he ran through the front gate minus his garments. "I'll tell her I've sinned," whined the miserable hypocrite, "It's the first and only time." The liar. The fust and only time he'd been found out, no doubt. They thre^v his clothes into the garden after him. The dirty wowser ; will he give Tinwald a spell after this, or will he have the brazen cheek to face it out and go on with his holy mouthings and keep up his Sunday School class ? He is slid to be a great pal of Tommy Tavlor's. This paper hasn't too much time for Tommy, but it hopes this is a falsehood. "Trulh" wouldn't wish its worst enemy a pal of this sort s '