AN AWFUL THREAT.

NZ Truth, 4 January 1908, Page 5

AN AWFUL THREAT.

Dunning a Creditor. Bill Tim's. Tronble^ "Truth" , once told the story of "William and his goosq," being a tragedy m several acts, of how Bill Timperley, late proprietor of the "Wairoa Guardian" didn't get the goose purchased by his missus, and stored m the Napier Freezing,- Works the while, the regular boat forgot to call for it. Timperley' seems to have got .rid of his newspaper at Wairoa, but is anxious about outstanding accounts. Although William is straightlaced, it is whispered that he is not above winking at a barmaid, and is not averse to a beer if somebody else is paying for ib. The following singular letter, picked up m, the backblocks of Frasertown, willugive a an idea of/ Billiam's character :— Wairoa, 11th Sept., 1907. Mr ; — , : '" '■■ Wairoa. J - ' '•» Dear Sir,— l wonder if you will be too busy to open a letter ? My ? account, £2 17s 2d to 30th. Sept., 1907, is getting too 'big for a' weekly newspaper, and you ' should make time to reduce it. If it is noi; paid before the Ist I shall discontinue the "'Canterbury Tunes," and replace' with"•""'solicitor's letters, court fees, etc.. Sorry I cannot include : ■ A BIG, FAT BARMAID and a barrel of Speight's XXXX but you can always command those luxuries, you wicked devil. — Yours truly, WM. TIMPERLEY. It will appear that the hero of the goose threatens his client with the severity of the law, then fearful lest he should arouse the Hibernian ire of his debtor, he finishes up with a playful reference to fat barmaids and Dunedin four X, and calls him a "wicked devil," much m the sa'rue way that a man would call his pal a "gay dog." If Timperley has : religious proclivities and serves customers who believe not m beer and the beauteous Hebe, 'nunUcntiou of the above epistle should cause him sorrow. "Truth's" special war correspondent at Wairoa has forgotten j to cable what really became of that \ goose after all ; whether Bill Tim. j rescued it from the cool stores or i abandoned it m despair, when he re- j ceived the calamatious bill tor storage? ' . I