AWAPUNI ANTICS.

NZ Truth, Issue 132, 28 December 1907, Page 2

AWAPUNI ANTICS.

Phipp^ Plum. A Palmcv,sion ; North pressman who believes that the pen is mightier than the sword- is also a believer m the tongue as the moS'l, elective means of i nil ucing ' other pressmen to use : their pens for his satisfaction. Consequently when anything rubs 'him .-. thR wrong 'way on a racecourse,' he walks about the press-room,! muttering "barefaced stumer, palpable case of foul riding, damnable luncheon, awful starting," e%c. ."Then, m the following issue of ; his rag, ,, he deals, stoush tp all .and sundry. No one wK'o crosses 'liii.ii' is apatptl. ; 't p .acU ' wre'k'Mve point's out "some ro'giie to the Metropolitan Clubs- and tells the Racing Conference what '$o. do . at " its' next meeting, makes plans for the Govern* ment and scourges' an "Unholy . alliance" which' he* alleges exists between {lie bookmakers and the anti-gamp-; lers. Last Saturday "the Immortal. Phipips," .who cat-ers for the JYlanawatu Racing- Club,- had a -complaint! from a steward about;; the poor luncheon, and came to inquire of the j Press what they thought of it. Several members, including "Advance," "Sir Geraint," "Glencoe" and the writer, remarked that they were well satisfied, hivihg pirtakon of a. tasty nteal. The P^lmerfe tori- Nortii pressman, however, immediately. delivered a long harangue.' He : had only been. a,blc to get; a few crumbs, the rolls' Were like bricks, the fruit salad wanr ted treatment m a sausage, machine^ the cheese should, be-tethered ..and the milk sterilised,! The, .-"immortal. Phipps" listened very, patiently "..arid then askii" the pressnia/n if he owed him anything. "You don't>. owe ; me anything, " said the ■ pressman , . . jn ay very sarcastic voice and .with a t lot of emphasis. on the word "me." This fairly riled* ; the "immortal Phipps'j 1 ' who remarked that' he owed' the' paper rijp thing either, called' " .the, reporters and his bosses a lot '-' of '■ Vhavef^'* called the reporter '. "iiimself "Tom Jones" m one word,, arid .offered, to figlit him. inside or ,outside,, or any^ where else. . Thte pressjnan. then, called Secretary Johnston to expel the Pieman, but "HoppyV' assistance was not reqfuired, as Phipps beat .a retreat without having his immortality tested. . "Get out, '.'^shouted the reporter m "Ms loudest and Wravest voi,cej and tlius gained a mioral victory, m the eyes 'of a section of the public who had been attracted by the Voices of tho belligerents. Which proves tfiat a kick" on the 'back is b-et-ter than no .fight. /. ' ,