JOHN NORTON!

NZ Truth, Issue 132, 28 December 1907, Page 5

JOHN NORTON !

INVITED TO COME AND BE CONVERTED. Tte Salvarmy Wants to Save His Sonl. A Cracked Cbristchnrchian on-thc ] At Ohr-istohurch, which is one of the komes of the Salvation Army, arid where religious flies exist and buzz rouad every where they can, and where the dog -barks at the sight of a mad bishop., and where the wind Mows contrary wise on Sunday owing to irrelevant! remarks by parsons a/bout the' plate, there is just now an ardent diesire to convert "Truth," or its proprietor, and the whole «taff, and the bffiice dogi which doesn't need any convartin'. "Truth's" Christchurch. dog is a really good pup, and -that is why he is kept to sool off tax-ga-therers and prohibitionists and the Salvarmy and the last ; comet. But despite his indefatigable' efforts/ a^ Salvarmy effort at composition has * (arrived at the Christchurch office, anx}; ,is here printed to show how this highly respectable paper is written about l l>y;' 'people 'who are , beneatb our cOnteflnpt.. Arid our , contempt, i^ something enormous ; we give it away by the'tori, arid charge no freight :— ■ ..■ • ••:•■:■. Christchurch, ...'.!.'=■ December 13, 1907. - John Norton, Esq., -•■-. Dear Johnj-r-I have read till I am tired reading dirt and filth m" your weekly newspaper-, so I think it is high time you were, taught something; -btetter than that. Now, we will invite you to, for the love of one, who will judge you some; day, to 1 Vtop your nonsense and " „ ' COME AND GET ; SAVED. ~> and let 'all the* naughty, boys „and:. and: girls alone. They, like you, will fini it out some day, for 1 must say that? the truth paper is one of the ,'dirtiesjt paper's ever published miay Gfed forgive you you •sinful man Now theArmy are very to take you , m hand and try-, to convert , you' as bad as you 'are. We liave converted people quite as .bad as you,- and we will CONVERT you to soi \come to '"-- our meetings' m th e ' 'Square or at v the barracks we will be most pleas^ ■■' ed to see you Come dearest frend 1 •;\ccwr)e and yi*s will save you come to-> '■'. night. ' ; " ; '■" ?: ■■'; •'■ ''■'-.. . '■'■■'"'' ■ •■'■■• ! - r - ! C:^. BLAKE, ' ..' ; ' • •'' i --;an S. A. Officer. • '"{. :\. Pr.esujn.ably ! the'V lady, (it is a lady's jiandwxiiing); expects Jbhn ; Norton 'to" materialise ; at a tiy •. m pnierit" ; .that be can cpme by aeroplane,;; or- sprnfe: s^ciiV cpntriyane'e, .;' and plank hi s b ob m" . the' r&g; at, Cathedral; Square any night ; pr if ariy/hpu'v of the ;day when . >; they iliaye .six- 'meetings .going at/' the ; j.safaie ; time,j .v; (The writer, pf the, letter 'pcems to. think ;,that Jpiin ; -Norton ,(^hy de- 1 sigaate .him '-, rwhen^he i,s^r s,pok- ;- ,cn:: of Nyith j; the jsame ; reverence. ,.-s as Gladstone and Dizzy and: Bqunap.arite, and others of that ; commonMlk) ' lives m Ohristchiirch.!? The numerous readers of this paper .belieye he resides at Auckland.;, others Dunedin; and- it (Wouldn't b-e astoiiisiiing for theYjvriterj.tp findthern !belie!ving that.hejhiiibituallyrconsorts! with the peaguins on Stewart Island, or taking a holiday m a lighthouse, or starting a paper AT THE SOUTH POLE. \ Anyhow,; whoever; John Norton is he is a man of grjea|; /individuality,! .and is everywhere" at ' and : : riPwhere ' m particular. , . V -But ,ther, Sajvarmy lass is quite sure' w is f in ! Chfistcliurch. Also; she-calls : hiiri "Deaf ' Joihn.'^ A Well, there; may tiiei • something 'cpnso'lirig about thkt, and; the next; -time ' he conies to "'tliecity tKat'is; at 'present bragging about Its anniversary instead of the dSonned Clrinameriv and their. vMite molls; ' he may ;;eiribrace the lady wrtlr that ch'astenesV-' irMch is cbrisisijerit" propriety. I.; 'i- . , "But : t?nis..wrj[t;er made 'an investiga^i tiori ,on : the afterapori these notes -\ were"; penned, and learned with a oonsiderablfe amount of astonishmejit that there was no Salvarmy officer pf the name .of 1 0. A. Blake, or; any , other kind^ of Blake, and that the thing was AND ; A^DELUSIONi and dead cat and other thiags tod .numerous to mention m the Things That Don't Exist; ,He was told' by offlceis that .that was so, ad there ' ends the mattei . But nothing matterst, m this world, and if the letter is writ ten :;by'd female^hpican.oply write with the right hand,, and ;who_ spells i cat with a X., and #hp calls the pro-,, prietor of this -paper VDear,'.; arid who goe^ out; of her way v to waste ink on-.. superijne '.paperj'and who hides her real name under a noni de plume, .' or her , blouse, or .spmeihing, will only comanunica'be with . { the Christchurch office, the local representative will meet her and, convert ber from the ' ways m ose strike pf a match., This { offer is only; open during New. Year weekj wlien good., resolutions are general, a-nd quite a stock can be had at a discount a week afterwards.,' :