JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 130, 14 December 1907, Page 4

JIM THE MILKER.

« In me larst ter you yer got a disrription of our reception m Dunedin. It was (juite true. All that I have said about Taranaki hoMs good from Dutiedin to the - Bluff, a more disgraceful state of affairs yer never seed. Young men and women to save time sleep together so that they can wake up at three o'clock m the morning, yer see that they want ter make . the. most of their time. God nos it aint long. Me and the bosses 'wife went right through the hole of the Mataura district, Milton, Taieri, Clutha, and verily the cry of the child is loud m the land. Sodom and Gomorah aint a patch on it, verily it is a golgatha where there is weeping and knashihg of teeth and where the worum never dieth. When me and the bosses - wife were at Gore we went into a highclass boarding-house. It was late m the evening and cold. When w£ went into the room there appeared to be a fire at the other" end. Sometimes yer would see fire and sometimes yer couldn't. Being a scientific cove I had to enquire into the matter, so me and madam marched straight up to the fireplace, when to our astonishment we seed a big hairy cove with feet like a small shovel. He was drunk, and when he put his" feet up before .fire fire it shut out all light. I axed this cove how are yer gettin on, how is the butter trade m these ■parts, will yer have a drink. I gave him- me flask and that was the end of it. Then this gallows bird said yer a stranger m these parts, aint yer, do yer no anything about the dairy trade ? Yer must no men like me with fifty cows can't get enough cheap labor. Let the chows come m, they ! can-do the trick quick and lively, and as for the kids the young lazy trash. Here the bosses wife advanced quickly and hit him a flush hit straight from the shoulder on the jaw, knocking him into the fire. There was a great uproar. Coves came rushing m as the noble farmer lay on his back roaring murder, fire and rape. I took off me coat thinking there would be slaughter, but when the bosses wife pxplaaned that she was a leader of the society for bashing child-killers, they, the cheils (they don't call themselves coves down here) entertained us at a banquet. Yer will see the account of it m a little sheet called the Mataura Ensign, if yer please, a fine specimen for a museum of about two thousand years ago. Well we arrived larst night m Wellington, and just as me and the bosses wife were having: some innocent fun m the bed the Warsted firebell rang out and she said Jim yer must go and see what yer can do, yer might save some childering. Well, off I got much against me will. I found there was nothing to be done so went home and was well hugged by the bosses wife. She is the best that ever lived. I notice m regard to the fire m one of the daily rags that feild marshall Bully Collins was promptly on the sceen and did great service. He at once rushed to a plug and got out a hose and played with great fury on the flames, but the watter being cut off suddenly he at once formed himself into a holler square and retreated heels first to the garden and took up a strong stand, . but a fireman coming along jabbed his fire nozzle into his guts, lifting him clean off ihis feet and landing Mm on his head. It was sad to see millingtary coves held so cheap. I aint half done, but the paper is run out. JIM. THE, MILKER.