TIPSY TAYLOR.

NZ Truth, Issue 127, 23 November 1907, Page 4

TIPSY TAYLOR.

-«> THE VAGARIES OF A VICIOUS

VICAR.

Singular Stories from "Saints

and Sinners."

Parson Who Drank Like the Devil.

Parson James Henry Taylor, Vicar of Isle Abbots, a village near llmiinster, Somerset (Eng.), doesn't seem to suffer from an overdose of cramping piety ; whisky or cheap ale seems to be his trouble. At all events he gets on the bust so often that he is thte laughing stock of his diocese. Now that the Bath and Wells Consistory Court has decided against him, the Aaiglican sky pilots everywhere will hold up their hands m holy horror at the awful scandal. He has been doing some amazing things, has Taylor. What settled his religious hash was when lie was performing a marriage service. He started it before the bride arrived. When she did arrive the surpliced boozer started on the burial service, saying, "I commit these people to the ground, earth to earth." The bride started weeping.* On being told he was on the wrong track, he proceeded to read the baptismal service. "I baptise thee with water," he said, and then went on talking about all sorts of things. Ultimately another parson was obtained, the ceremony lasting two hours and a quarter m all.

Drunken parsons are a rarity nowadays, although a few may be met now and again. Hundreds of years ago they did little else but guzzle beer, and rectors, who drank like hogs themselves, were often upbraided for rarely entering the pulpit, putting on someone else to do thejr duty. Writer has just been reading an pld booK,

"SAINTS AND SINNERS," by Dr. Doran, which gives some Interesting information about church happenings centuries ago. In 1640 the parishioners of Little Chart complained that their t rector, Mr Kearne, had not performed service twice a year during his three years' tenure, and that he had' more frequently provided drunken than sober substitutes. This evil of tipsy representatives was also endured by Smalden, the non-resident vicar of which, Glye, was represented by one Terry as "so distempered with beer that he could not read the burial service on one occasion. He doth frequent blind and unlicensed ale-nouses, wherein he hath been so often overtaken by the said vice that he hath been found lying m the street and dirt not able to help himself." A nice sort of bloke, truly. It is quite • clear from further chapters that most of the clergy used to haunt taverns and expound scripture over their glasses. One joker named Ashburnham, Vicar of Tunbridge, is described as a man of profane life and conversation. He ' is further styled, "A Drinker ot Healths." Then another josser, Carter, Vicar of Stourmouth, gets a nice character ; he is set down as a "cringer to the Communion table," and "drinking and gaming sometimes three, sometimes four whole days together." On one Sunday he broke out and told his congregation that they might all go to the devil if they would, for he would take no more care of them. His curates

WERE HIS "POT-COMPANIONS," and all their oof went m swankey. But a ruder sort 01 cuss held sway m Cumberland. His name was the Rev. Mr Dunlingson, curate of Castlesowerby. This chap used to be seen m public-houses "half fou\ half fed, and half sarMt." The last item im^ plying half-dressed. He had a wild tongue and a heavy arm, using both When needed to clear the house of all opponents.- On one occasion, being refused more liquor, he climbed up the sign-pole, destroyed the effigy of the Duke •of York and did other damage. Bishop Goodenough was disposed to expel this rollicking son of the church from his diocese, but Mr Blamire, of Cumberland celeb rity^ volunteered to attend Castlesowerby Church and see of what stuff this apostolic personage was made when m the pulpit. He reported favorably. The sermon was able and earnest, from the text, "The harvest is past, the summer is ended, and we are not saved." The Bishop pardoned tie curate on condition that he stuck to his texts and gave up tippling. When Parson punglison preached- this discourse, it was with naked feet thrust into country clogs, and there was reason to suspect that there was neither shirt nor trousers beneath his surplice.

"Saints and Sinners" also gives a long chapter to drinking naval chaplains, who could stow away rum with the best sailor swiper aboard.. "Over sea chaplains, generally speaking, are drunk as often as our sea captains," runs one paragraph from the lips of an authority. Also when Giles Perm was organising the expedition against Sallee, among the stores he demanded of the Government was

"A STOCK OF CIDER AND GOOD

DIVINES." Now, here is something like a nip. One of the incidents told by Dam'pier, on His voyage to Campeachy, will show how religion and punchdrinking went pleasantly together. The noted sailor and his fellows were at anchor, off Negril, after a long course of starvation, "and were very busy going to drink a bowl of punch." They were boarded by a Captain Rawlins and aMr Hooker, the latter an old logwood cutter. Dampier invited them into his cabin to drink with them. The bowl had not been touched ; there might be six quarts m it. Mr Hooker, being drunk to b"y Captain Rawlins, the chaplain got hold of the bowl, and, saying that he was under an. oath to drink but three draughts of strong liquor a day, put the bowl to his mouth, and turned it off at one draught. Dampier seems to have had some respect for this religious toper who had rather drink six quarts of punch at one pull than perjure himself by drinking more than three draughts of liquor m one day !" "Saints and Sinners" quotes a remark made by the author of "Connoisseur," which hadn't a very high opinion of some of the chaplains afloat. "If a chaplain will so far divest himself of his sacred functions as to drink, swear, and behave m every ? - espcct like a common sailor (who was well enough m bis bearing at prayers, when he could neither

drink, swear, nor move as he listed), .tie should be. '

OBLIGED TO WORK IN THE

GANGWAY all the re;st of- the week, and\ on Sunday he invested m jacket and trousers, instead of .canonicals." It is I interesting to note how the Russians used to act those clays. They made naval chaplains after a singular fashion. Sir George Simpson crossed the Pacific m a Russian ship, the chaplain of which had. -to be sent to sea because he was too drunk to officiate on land. Afloat, he was kept sober only for the hour. of service on each recurring Sunday."

Dibdin produced some poetical pictures of life aboard ship, m which he roughly sketched . the drinking chaplain.. The old failing, practise m collision wi'fch precept, still hung about him. . "Saints and Sinners" gives a typical verse :—

■"T'other day as our chaplain was preaching,

Behind him I cautiously slunk, And while he our duty was teaching, As how we should never get drunk, I show's him the stuff and he twigged . it. And it soon set his reverence agog, And he swigged and Nick swigged And Ben swigged- and -Dick, swigged And I swigged and all of us swigged it, ..••..... And swore there was nothing like grog." • -, .

But. enough of . 'drinking parsons. The word prohibition was unknown then. Had* it heen introduced, another name would have been found for it bretty quick.