CAUSTIC COLLINS.

NZ Truth, Issue 92, 23 March 1907, Page 6

CAUSTIC COLLINS.

A Baker Bloke Looking for a Biff!

If one P. W. Collins, a trader of fTempleton, Canterfttury, is looking for trouble, and, incidentally a big bitt^ jii£, he's going the right way about it, 1 lo be completely successful m his st'rich. Tompleton township isn't as large as Lu'nhon, but Collins is a pretty big bug- thereabouts. He runs a concern there known as the District Supply Stores and Bakery Company, styling himself the manager, but it's understood the company isn't quoted on 'Change, being all Collins m fact. As model employ er Collins fairly collars the pastry, only the coves who engage to work for him don't recognise the personification of kindness and consideration when they see it. Terribly unlucky Collins is with his men. They seem ,to v/orlc on the "now you see me, now you don't" principle, following one. another m and : out of Coll'rn's employ m suoh rapid succession that, if a man stays with him more than a week, the whole township of Tcmpleton begins to wonder what's wrong and makes side bets on the ultimate length of the dilatory Yemployee's . servitude. The Templeton statician has, by a careful calculation worthy of a better cause, reck-oned-'i#*but that m five years Col-

lins ba&had no fewer than &5 men (to say nothing of whole regiments of boys) working for. bim. Horribly unlucky cove Coll'iiis must be about his staff. Mefc who have worked for a term with the-Templeton- trader say it's a most delightful, blissful ex-, perience. He never bullies or drives his chaps as though, they were animals instead of men— they don't think !. Recently a man named Sutherland blew into Collins store and caused tremendous excitement m the lopaility 'by working for the lengthy period of six weeks and a bit at the bakers emporium. He left after that and Collins, m order to remove any cronk impression that might exist m people's minds that the fellow wa« still m his employ, saw the wisdom of inserting the following ad. m the "Lytterton Times" anent the six week's phenomenon .— '■'Notice.— The District Supply Stores, and Bakery Company, of Templeton wishes to notify the Public of, Templetcn and surrounding districts that J. H. Sutherland is no longer m their employ nor authorised to collect any accounts on their behalf. (Signed) F; W. Collins, Manager. March 9th." Of course Sutherland was wrath about such publicit" being given to the extraordinary occurrence of one of Cpllin's men leaving him. Sutherland's complaint 'was . that anyone reading; the above notice would - suppose he had done something wicked, and that Collins had dismissed him. So he waded into print straightaway m the next issue of the "Times," and his literary effort ran tMswise :— t 'Public Notice.— Referring to the advertisement' m yesterday's "Times," I wish to state that I severed my connection , with the District Sun- ' - Stores and Baker y C 0 .,,

of Tempieton, on mv, oswi^ accord. J. H. Sutherland." Perhaps P. W. Collins, when he next wishes to vent his spleen on a departing employee. will think of some other way of doing it than to sug.eest, per medium of the public press, that the man is leaving under a vloud, as his callous advt. was undoubtedly meaat to do. . ■ " ,