JIM THE MILKER.

NZ Truth, Issue 87, 16 February 1907, Page 6

JIM THE MILKER.

A HEIXOVA HEAVEN. The Kent-terrace Prusbee* teeryun Parson Says His Kirk is. a Counterpart t>f Heaven.

A plea for better observance ofthe Lord's Day was contained m the annual report of Kent-terrace Presbyterian Church, read at last " night's meetwif. "The attendance on the Lord's Day, particularly . m the morni' ■ should be larger," said the report. "Some are lacking m a due sense of duty and m the sentiment of loyalty and attachment to- the house of God ; and many, it is to be feared, spend' the sacred day m visiting and wordly pleasure. The growing disregard for the Sabbath is a subject for sincere regret and serious reflection. On one day m the week . the pressure of "business ceases, and our manner of spending our hours of release gives sure indication of our character. The church is the counterpart of heaven, and if its engagements are distasteful and wearisome, may we /hot fear . that even m heaven itself the habitual non-churchgoer would feel" strange -Ttnd^ -uncomfortable '■- Feb. 7. • '' ■ Here is a statement published m fat man's daily rag. The church (Presbyterian) is the counterpart of Heaven. Well yer know that a parson has great cheek, but I never thought that they would utter sich helish blasphemy . as- this. Fancy Heaven 'being like a church ! the parson then prooeedes to say that he thinks that coves would get tired of it, goGd enough if Heaven is as wearsome- as a church good Lord, deliver us from;: it decent coves and covesses dont 'want having roared into their ears things that every kid knows of course parsons hold out a bribe, to wit if yer hand over all yer money to the fat man -in this world and be lowly and meek yer will get a gold crown and a jewsharp m the next world. Further that yer will be allowed to rage and prance through the golden gates also rampage, over the jasper pavements, this is all rot wot does a parson no about the business of the Almighty .? but let them rip poor creatures they are' prostituting their minds for the sake of lucre and they crucify Christ every Sunclav m their, churches. He ! that has ears to hear let him hear. The bosses wife (Madame Sharkey) thinks that it would be a* good thing for all the parsons to go to the dairy districts and then they might understand what Christ meant when he said suffer little children to come unto me. Well they are going quick I can tell yer and will go quicker every day as long as the parsons worship a quid, otherwise mammon, who are the .parties that devote their time to destroy every honorable feeling amongst the ' people at large ? any novice can. tell ver that it is the parson. Of course the parson is paid by -the fat man and' despises a cove with his legs tied up with a boyang. Yer know that their whole stock m trade ie servants- obey yer masters," let the world , go to he'll hut servants' obey yer masters they never tell cqyes that' the rich man was inhell -.-while the laborer was m the kingdom of they did r if ' would offend the fat man so he (the fat) would jump on them with a big jump and soon bring them to heel. ■ The bosses wife (Madame Sharkey) is 'grieved that Christianity should be degraded by a set of overpaid fat greasy coves who take up the trade . of parsons, because they are 1;o lazy to worrick, lord madame nos them she was telling me the other ' night when we had retired for rest how she was attacked by a parson he was attracted by her beauty and a married man he wanted madam to abscond with him, there were few words but his nibs was on the street auick the bosses wife kicked him behind and he- (the parson) went away a 'sorfufull man as m the fite' his nose was. broken his! belltoper smashed and Madam Sharkey stood on the front steps yelling rape' fire and brimstone, be off yer scoundrill go home to ver. wife is there no cove that will protect me from this ,ravisher ? here I came m and bashed that parson smote him hip and thigh then threw, him on to the waste heap. This ; ' was the begining of the mutual love between me and the bosses wife and since then we haye N been loving each other all the time, it is good, oh she is a splendid woman. When Madanfc Sharkv kicked the parson under the coat tail she was following the example of the late lamented Queen who used to kick her, maids of honor on the starn only her gracious' laigs were short and she always camp down with a thump on her hind quarters when she did it and I heard that she cussed at a grate rate. * Now the bosses wife has good straight laigs very supple as I could tell year if I was so disposed, but the sacredness of the home forbids me no doubt yer readers understand that their is some delicate questions m matromonial life that, cant be exposed to vulgar people. There is a lot of reformation required m this city more especially amongst 'the fat men who knows no law as regards morality. :■ JIM THE MILKER.