MERELY MARY ANN.

NZ Truth, Issue 72, 8 December 1906, Page 3

MERELY MARY ANN.

— -*- — -—-■ , | A lady m Hobson-street, who j usually keeps a cook and two housemaids, and is looked upon as a considerate mistress, had no answer to | her advertisement, as the erirls are j attracted to Ch unchurch,", (vide j evening paper), which .suggests the foliowinp lines :— I do not think I ever knew A task more troublesome, did you, Than just now trying to obtain A cook-maid of the genus "plain.". . Nor is it without cause I speak, I've sought one since last Tuesday week ; If I've seen one I've seen a score, And dread to think I may see more. Behold me, then, deep sunk m gloom, Awaiting m my morning room— This cook, who, just to show her power, Had kept me there full half an hour. And when at length I raised my head I saw a woman stout and red, Who, with an air and loud attire, Oalmly came up and took a chair. "You wants a cook, mum," she commenced (Our talk, of course, must be condensed), "Now, first of all I'd like to know What 'twas that made your last one go?" Past failures had my courage cooled, And my warm indignation schooled ; And so I mildly said that she Had gone away to married be. "You're sure," that woman rude replied, "That there was nothing else beside— You're sure it was not 'cause she shirked : All through of her being overworked ?" Says I : "My family is small, And 'twas not as you think at all." 'HDh, very well, now, come," says she "I really think we may agree." "There's carpet on the kitchen floor?" I nodded, and inquired : "What more ?" "You'll mind, of course, your own affairs, And never set a foot downstairs." "I hope my master's not inclined ' To stay out late at night— for mind I'm not the one to sit up late And cooE hot suppers— let me state. "And if he's fond of devilled bones He'd better get them out, not try (And here she winked the other eye) To get them from the likes of I. "And I takes music. lessons, please— Not'Mnjr would make me give up these : And you'd not mind— l likes your manner— if i took them on your planner. "You'd not expect that I could eat That trash— they call it frozen meat, For, mum. mv appetite mute starts At anything from frozen parts !" Say mistresses, "If this shall be While there exists the cheap Chinee ? Far servants, if this risk you'll run? Fo>- wiien the Mongols come you're done !" ' I