HALF MEASURES.

NZ Truth, Issue 75, 24 November 1906, Page 7

HALF MEASURES.

[In these strenuous times, if we are to believe recent pronouncements on the subject, there is no room for half-heartedness, and thoroughness is the only wear; yet it is astonishing what a number of people there are who continue to do things by halves.] Of the half-hearted was Simmy, or Sim, As his friends dubbed young Simon Caboodle.; He'd no thoroughness, backbone seemed lacking m him, Although more of a sharp than a noodle. And this weakness of his was observable both In his faults and his virtues, if any; He lapped whisky, for instance, and never was loth To let one quencher lead'on to many. But,thou£a outwardly he by much lush, Being bleary of eye and red-nozzled, had been spoiled, He somehow ne'er contrived to get thoroughly oiled — He at all times was only lialf-sozzled. : But, although he m no sense was thorough, and steered Very wide of the goal of perfection, j In the eyes of Aurelia Simmy appeared To be quite a prize-packet selection. For he told of the wealth he'd inherit, he knew, From his rich uncle over the border, And he'd narratives differing somewhat j m hue, . Little yarns of the fairy-tale order. She took m such tall stories, as damsels oft do, Though adepts would have easily bowled them; For he never told fairy-tales all the way through— Like a fat-head, he only half told them. j > i His appearance impressed her, so swagger, so swell, So unlike the men near, her own shanty; ' But she only perceived the exterior shell, ' ' I She knew not that the kernel was "nanty.?' j She had not learnt the lesson that empty and vain Are external appearances mostly; , So how was she to know, when she saw his gold chain, . That, his watch was an article ghostly? And, although she ne'er dreamt it, 'twas also a cert., As his love-inspired speeches he slobbered, That, although he had cuffs and a • front, he'd no shirt, And, m fact, he was only halfclobbered. But Aurelia still m her Simmy believed Till the moment when, proud and delighted, She emerged from the church where the ring she'd received On her finger, m wedlock united. But 'twas then as the bridegroom escorted his bride From the poi-tal, that he was arrested ; He was walked off for passing base sovereigns snide, And anon he for five "stretch" was nested. And Aurelia, being thus left all alone On her wedding day wished she had tarried; For her Sim had his old lack of thoroughness shown, And she< reckons she's only half-' married.

DOSS CHIDERDOSS.