HAWERA HAVERS.

NZ Truth, Issue 74, 17 November 1906, Page 8

HAWERA HAVERS.

John F. Burke Discourses on Things m Cowtown.

Mr Editor,— As I have been occupied busily of late I was unable to inquire, through your columns, the state of yow health, etc., hut, as I have just lately had a brief sojourn m howling, having Hawera, by way of interest I shall drop you a few notes.

The weather— that ever interesting topic, I must certainly introduce as a prelude— has been most boisterous, as though an angry demon had been let loose to destroy the even trankpillitv of the mind. There has been a howling, gravelly wind, that would blow dust and stones, stones almost as large as marbles, clean through into your purse, the jingling of the stones tfogalher with a few loose coins could be distinctly heard as you wended along your way. Hawera has not improved much m the way of new buildings, nor, can I say, on old ones, neither, with this exception, an old and much-used domicile has undergone a coat of light cream paint and oil, oil being predominant.

I must certainly say that the little inland city is good for something. Its people are kindness and hospitality incarnate ; the many acts of generosity received by yours truly and mate will live evergreen m o ur hearts, aye, even teyond the unknown veil, and I must do myself a justice by stating there are some handsome people here of the fair sex, both married and single. Unfortunately, yours truly had not the gratification of becoming acquainted with many 'of those fair Venuses, except as "jokes" of a light nature, otherwise there is no telling what the consequences might be. It may have possibly led to rather startling results, as note the following :

Two relations, whom I shall term Right and Left Bowers, became enamored with two fair goddesses, also relatives, termed Queens of Hearts and Diamonds, who, as usual, loved not wisely, but too well. The Bowers successfully euchred the Queens, and, of course, , the little Aces are making their appearance, a nd afterwards their presence will be felt. 'Tis the old, old story, revived even m howling, having Hawera. I blush with unfeigned, sincere, and unmitigated, sorrow when such tales of "having" are poured into my ears, and you, Sir, have many a time and oft re-echoed those sentiments m your columns. Ido not know nor can I suggest a punishment eauitable for such destroyers of fair and fragile womanhood.

There have been two or three incipient fires here lately, but unfortunately they were squelched before any damage had been done. I use the word "unfortunately," because I am of opinion a goodly number of those places of business, which stand out un? blushingly as such, would be the better for the quiet attention of the proverbial rat, said rat striking matches on his teeth, and, presto, the work is done, a visit from those concerned, and an escape from those interested, an inquiry ; then a new building, which would greatly augment the beauty of the town of howling, having Hawera— Yours, etc., J. P. BURKE, Aromoho.

A word or two by way, of comment, concerning one or two of the 1 leading places of business. To begin, our popular and genial tonsorial artist, Mr Chris. Crane, is duly installed m very nice and commodious, premises, the Artistic Saloon, where three chairs are, like the cradle, m perpetual motion, and always full, while the catering to the hirsute growth is like the fluttering breath of angels' wings, and calculated to entice one far away m dreamland while the exacting business is being carefully manipulated. , The saloon ranks second to none on the coast, being lofty, well lighted and ventilated. So lon*r. Chris:, old chap ; may you live long and be prosperous. Adieu. J.F.B.