THE DOCTOR'S DODGE.

NZ Truth, Issue 64, 8 September 1906, Page 5

THE DOCTOR'S DODGE.

Trouble Over a Lady Typist.

Lady Typists nave oftentimes caused trouble before now, but the "Lady Typist" who appears at His Majesty's Theatre for a week, recently, is causing a heliova row. Life-long friendships have been broken ; men (and women) who used to be bosom pals are passing each other by on the other side ; six duels are stated to be already booked, to say nothing of sundry little fisticuffs bouts, which are being fixed up for early settlement. Altogether the "Lady Typist" has caused enough trouble to satisfy even the most vindicitive of her kind. Dr. de Olive Lowe is wishing she had never been created, and that he had never been born.

It appears that the row now is about the' money. Filthy lucre has had a prominent share m the troubles over flighty typistes before now, but this is an accentuated instance. Of course the doc. having invented the finest musical play on earth (hem) wanted it staged m great style and he spent money like water to do it. No one could say him nay, apparently. He fixed his contracts with Graham, Diamond, and the rest of them m the most orthodox millionaire style. Madame Wielaert wrote out her own contract for playing the title nart, and Dr. Lowe signed it. The cove who tried to play General Sir R. Kitchenranger fixed up a little deal (lovely tor him) by which he was to get £12 for his extremely talented services for one week. Nobody knew what was done— till afterwards. .The business manager, who was about the only one m the show qualified for the role he undertook, and rave his services for no recompense, whatever, never had a look m at all. The doctor did it all, every blessed thing. . "

It only came out on the night of the last performance that the orchestra was to be paid ; and that orchestra had a method entirely its own fop imparting the information. Between the acts on that final night it sauntered on to the stage m a casual sort of way and stood to attention, "all m a row." As the orchestra wasn't billed for a special turn on its own account the business manager made bold to inciuire what the blazes or what the devil (we are not certain of the exact phraseology) it was doing there. Then the band, with one voice, announced that it Tiad called ior the cash, so to speak. This somewhat flabbergasted the honorary business manager, who had understood that these coves were blowing and banging for honor only. So he called the medical musician and popped the ouestion to him. "Yes, auite right," said the" doctor. So the big drummer and his colleagues got their gpnce and retired. Of course all this extravagance spelled trouble later on and trouble it is now^ sure enough. The expenses came to £896 Us lid, whilst the takings for the six nights totalled £788 odd. It speaks volumes for, the honorary business manager that he got houses such as many a .first-class travelling Company, with star artistes, would weep witty joy at receiving. But nothing could circumvent the gross ,extravagance m the production of the "Lady Typist," and so, alas and alack, Lowe went back— and told the paralysed guarantors they would have to dub up to the tune of upwards of one hundred of the very best golden googies.

Naturally the guarantors were surprised, seeing tjie houses there had been every night, and said "Oh, well !" or something like that. And now it is alleged that Dr. de Olive Lowe, m seeking for some excuse ior the deficiency, made some nasty remarks about there being something shady with the returns, and not getting correct gallery receipts. Of a surety the honorary business manager, after many weeks hard graft to ensure the success ■of the show, is very wrath. He has demanded an apoloo-^. and seemg -'that there was an honorary treasurer. Mr Coldicutt, who has expressed himself as being entirely satisfied with the returns presented for his checking, it is up to Dr. Lowe to come a bit lower, and make an ample, apology for reflections cast; although, no doubt, on the spur of the moment he hardly gave sufficient judgment to the words which r*ave offence. The moral of it all is— keep out of amateur theatricals. -