FEARSOME FIGURES.

NZ Truth, Issue 63, 1 September 1906, Page 8

FEARSOME FIGURES.

The Pahiatua " Era " Man,

Spreads Himself

And Knocks the National Debt and the " Big Four " Galley West.

The country editor ;is nothing, unless strictly correct m all his statements ; and -when he lets himself go on figures, why lie— lets^ himself -go .the limit.

The mathematical' genius who. controls that section of the Archimedian lever that is known as the 'Era," and is situated at the Great City of Pahiatua,. which is hidden away among a lot of other kiungas m the' Wairarapa district, has gone -farther. He has banged the limit clear out through the back of the -machine and set a. mark that will never be Jowered unless by a 'professor -ot mathematics who has ' developed wheels m his head and gives rein to a feverscorched imagination.

The cause; of this flight .into the' arithmetical empyrean, so:-to speak, was the simple fact that Uhe editor aforesaid received a report of an insurance company's wear's operations and either the shock .caused an ohsecurity of vision ; the mere cool mention of so much money as these reports flirt with, dazed him ; the gentleman is so poorly up m the third "r" as to he unable to differentiate thousands and millions an-d disdains such minutiae as a few cyphers more or' less ; or else the brand they sell at Pahiatua .(the Stronghold of the Gods) is of that potent nature that causes the vision of the consumer to magnify everything within its. range. ■ What' ever •the cause, the effect was as follows :

"We have to acknowledge the re-> ceipt of a copy of : the Colonial.Mutual Life Assurance Society's annual report and balance-sheet, set* out m pamphlet form. The balance sheet 1 shows the assets of the Society ,to be over two hundred . and seventy million pounds, the annual income fifty-five millions, and the amount assured to policy-holders one thousand and fifty millions sterling. The amount of new business obtained by the Society for the current year is about £50, 000 m advance of that for the same period last year, and the Society feels justified m anticipating the completion of a million of new 'assurances by the close of the year., Mr Colville is the Pahiatua agent of the Society."

Beside such figures those of all the Trusts m all the world sink into insignificance and the interest on the British National Debt becomes a mere bagatelle. An annual income of fifty-five millions leaves the Czar and Alfred Bert "down the course," and puts Rcckfeller away back an the lower third form. The figures are Titanic, stupendous, magnificent, and are only anyway approached m grandeur by the intellect, of the amiable gentleman who penned the paralysing paragraph ! Many country editors love to soar when they sieze a siezable subject ; but the Pahiatua 'Era" man— he to the mountain tops !