ENGLISH AND AMERICAN HOTELS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5488, 29 October 1878, Page 3

ENGLISH AND AMERICAN HOTELS.

{From an American Correspondent.) Slß,—Perhaps your Mrs. MaUprop—a kiud * of ancestress of our owa Mrs. Partington—-was right when she said comparisons were not the clear thing in a young lady, but her warning can hardly extend to travellers of my oppressed sex. What do we travel for hut to sample the goods of;the old Continent; and compare them with thedomestic productions of our own great and happy'coimtry? ; X will not go tho whplo figure, and say that there are no good hotels in England ; but they are few and far befcvvOep. Seeking a good hotel is rather like seeking’ a .good wife ; and, as the late Mr. Lincoln used to say, “ I am reminded” of a story which neighbor Quackenboss is fond of telling after hi« second cocktail. “Marriage,” says Quackenbosa, “ is like putting your band into a bag containing ninety-niue snakes and one eel. You may get the eel, but the’’chances are against you.’* That is so, and it is the same with English hotels. They arc some of them big things, and are elegantly built and furnished. Perhaps this may result from your contractors hot being so smart as ; our boys. ' It is true that ..your waiters are respectful, and have by long practice acquired the habit of wallring as silently as cats. If you venture to remonstrate about the soup, the sole; ’ or ; tho mutton, you are listened to—not /insulted, as sometimes happens in my great country, where the proud stamp of tho/waiterVboot-heels intimates that his vote is as good as your own. Your drink, too/is godd-rrtfaat is so, and although your port and sherry are too heavy for Americans, your light wines are A 1. But privacy and quietness are dearly bought at the price of gloorai Every - operation is attended' with- awful solemnity, and smoking, as a general habit, is kind of sat upon.' To figuro it all up, your hotels' arc made to ; suit you and nobody else. They are English—very insular, and are as different from ours/as a prayer meeting from the Derby-day; * They are steep in price. A few days ago, I walked with a friend into a first-class hotel at. a watering-place. We “partook," as yoitr police-officers say, of luncheon ; tho slimmest possible luncheon—two thin slices of cold corned beef, two slices of bread, three potatoes, and/two tankards of bitter ale. For this banquet we were taxed seven shillings, assessed ns follows : luncheon five shillings/ ale shilling/ attendance one shilling. But this is the, way with English hotels ; they are eccentric in ! their ways and in their charges. Their proprietors are possessed with a one-horse idea of going it heavy, on extras. They begin ’moderately enough ; but they never leave off charging ; and what with attendance, and lights, and other extras, produce a total as steep as that Smuggling institution the Bock of 1 Gibraltar, In plain, simple, intelligible American, you are a great and energetic people, you nre often spry, and Sometimes real smart, but—but you can't run an hotel; / ' ' : .* • „ ’ In my country* hotels are fixed differently, I 'am 'awavo that in eomo establishments they go by the “ European plan” of charging, for every item, but'l atn speaking of the “ American plan" of putting you through fov so much a day./Forthesublimatiba of the, true! idea 'of an’ hotel t think the world is . indebted to America,. -With us the thing has not y ally developed out of tho oldfashloned inn, It is a now thing ; distinct and

cosmic, not blundered into by diut.of ence, but the ! clear outcome of the Yankee brain. The profession, of hotel-keeping is with us as dignified as it is useful. Hotel-keepers are millionaires. They drive four-in-hands, they, wear big diamonds, arid their wives put ou enough jewels and furs to buy a drfwn-town lot. They are of coux’ae ou terms of equality and friendship with their guests. I recolleci once. the; proprietor of a first-class hotel, on being appealed to concerning the quality of bis whisky, saying, “1 guess I got the "worst of my last whisky deal. It ain't first class, that’s a fact ; but there, are, only thirteen barrels loft, and, I guess you boys had best drink it up slick,'and then you’ll get a' better brand.” They arefree, are our, hotel proprietors; but they are easy too. When Colonel Skooter I—the editor of a three-cornered newspaper—came down to hia bottom dollar just after the warj the gentleman who kept the hotel ' he boarded at never asked him for a cent for sixmonths ; and then when a rival hotel set up on the next block, asked the colonel to J take a drink, and said persuasively, “ Colonel I guess I like your company like ray‘first drink of a morning ; but don’t you think ,you- might as. ! well give the new institution a turn V’ They are great folks, our hotel men,-aud their 1 es-' tabJisbraeuts are a. long way ahead of anything in Europe—at least, to our taste. Once located irrthe Fifty-fifty Avenue Hotel, you l can clo almost anything you like without going out: you can read oil the tape the price of stock aid the latest transactions in Broad-street; you can telegraph all over the world ; you cap buy railway tickets to any part of the Union, ; and can send your luggage by express ; yori can buy all the newspapers; you can fcata your boxes or stalls in any theatre in ; New .York ; you can buy a cigar at the stand, and ;smoke it; and can get any drink ‘under the sun at tlie bar without the Interposition, of, ;a,waiter. .Moreover, if you arrive from China, • Japan, or parts unknown, and feel that the cut iof your clothes and your hair is not‘up to Ne w, ;York style, you cam be fixed right off the reel You can have a bath and bo shaved, get yom l hair cut, your moustache dyed, your eyebrews painted, and your ears syringed ; you can buy ! underclothing, : shirts and socks, cravats and gloves ; -you can get yourself rigged out in a suit of clothes of the ; latest fashion ; you can put on new boots and one of Melton's latest hats ; - you can buy a bottle of. perfume or a 1 box of Cbckle’a pills with equal ease-all without 'setting your foot out ef .doors,* You can enter a chrysalis,'and emerge butterfly. I had nearly forgotten- the hotel clerk. When you. come to see us always be ou good terms, with the hotel clerk, for he is * power, and can make or mar you. The great Fifty-fifth Avenue Hotel hardly shines as an architectural triumph There are folks who say—with a snigger—that the author was inspired with ; a vision of a\ whitewashed packing-case. , But then people don't live outside of hotels, but inside them ; and in our hotels the guests do;live qu'the .fat; of the land. • Ves, sir. • There is a story told of an Englishman who arrived at the Fifty-fifth Avenue Ifutel a few years ago, after a rough passage over; feeling a powerful-appetite ; he looked at the programme and noted the hours for meals"; he observed ’that; breakfast was served from seven to eleven o’clock, lunch from one to two, dinner (d. la x carte)ivom two to five, dinner ftable, d'dhdtej at half, past five, tea from six to nine, and supper from nine to twelve—seventeen ;houra ;of copious refreshment. With the brain of a general planning a campaign or of a London alderman forecasting bia dinner by. tiny, dots ;«nd[ticks on the bill of fare, the mow chum struck out a. plan : of action. He-was-not a mean man, but a bard customer at a deal, and thought himself bound to get the better of the proprietor. Well, he got up early; that is one good point about our native hotels, they encourage early rising ; you are bound, to get up early; whether you like it or not—that’s a fact. To return to my English friend : he was up soon after seven with the appetite-of a cormorant who had bolted a .bottle of Angostura bitters.. Being properly posted, ho began with a melon with pepper and salt, and a few tomatoes cut up with cucumber and onion, and then took kindly to his hot rolls;-his Graham bread, a slice of Spanish mackerel, a bit of beefsteak, a few eggs an iniroir,* a little' broiled barn and some fried potatoes, a taste of smoked beef and eggs and a broiled chicken, —winding up the whole performance with a heap of rice cakes, a couple of peaches,, tea, .coffee, and other fixings. He walked down town in high glee, and came'up smiling to lunch, ; making awful havoc amongst the raw oysters and the stewed oysters, .the,fried;oyaters. and the pickled oysters, the cold chicken, bam, and tongue. At dinner he was again to the fore, looking happy and hungry, but I guess rather streaked at the bill of fare,, which included two soups,' two fishes, seven cold dishes, six releves,- ten entries, seven roasts, eighteen' vegetables, nine: varieties of pastry, eleven kinds of fruit, lemon and .rum icc, creams and coffee. He was equal to the occasion : beginning gently with tomato soup, ha next attacked the boiled bass and the broiled,.whitb-fish, and after a little boiled, chicken and ham fell-upon the entries like a lion. He despatched in’quick succession fillet of beef larded, .with.mushrooms, oyster patties, • sweetbreads with green peas, lobster dla Valenciennes, and rice birds in cases with champagne sauce, roast turkey pult and roast grouse, fol- ; lowed by lobster salad. At intervals myfrieud tasted at my solicitation sundry of our national vegetables, such as green corn, baked and, stewed tomatoes, red beets, succotash, sweet potatoes, .squash; Lima beans, .and fried eggplant. Through all this he worked heroically but weakened on the pastry, paying, jittle or: no attention to the peach pie, the “puukin” •pie,-the sliced-apple-pic—we are .great on pies in Cmy. country—the, puffs and jellies and' custards ; but brightened up at dessest among! the grapes.and'-raisins, English walnuts and American pecan nuts, citron melons, and **osyhearted water melons. He pulled through, ho did, and arrived, at the ice cream and; coffee 1 tired perhaps, but nob cloyed. As we did not ; get through dinner till about seven o’clock, be had only time to get a cup of tea aad a slice of- cake in. the tea-room before we went to; Bo th’s. . .After the theatre he showed up, but with diminished vigor, at supper among the cold chickens and ham, the cold tongue, aud the oysters hor. and cold, raw and fried ; and j then owned up fair and square that no such board and lodging could be got any where, else, in the world for ,the same money-r-about, Ihirteen or fourteen shillings'.a day'all told, and nary extras., A • • - 1 . Rufus P. Cuickeiung.