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AN AMERICAN PROPHET.

(From the Saturday Review, July 13.)

Mr. George Francis Train is a prophet who is chiefly honored in his own country. He is the most American of Americans, and has discovered a number of specifics for the moral, intellectual, and physical maladies of his countrymen. He it is who proposes that all Americans should do as a thing of conscience what moat Americans do at present without knowing it—namely, “ wear American clothes, develop American ideas, and use the American language.” Mr. Train is being “ run” at present by Mr. Leon H. Lempert (late manager Rochester Opera House), who finds that “ the dramatic business is paralyized everywhere,” and that the oratorical business pays better. The peculiar spelling of the word “ paralyized” 'shows that Mi, Lempert has the courage of Mr. Train’s ideas. It may be worth while, before briefly considering the events of Mr. Train’s career and the theories which he promulgates, to notice the mode in which he offers his distinguished services to the American people. Mr. Lempert sends to managers of athenaeums, parthenons, literary societies, and so forth, a document in which he sets forth that George Francis Train is “once more at the front.” These words supply matter for profound thought. One seems to see the vast movement of the Anglo-Saxon race in the States passing across the stage of history in the direction of repudiation, paper money, general massacres of Chinese, and other reforms. Once more in the front, Mr. Train capers at the head r of a cultivated people, aud waves the banner of “absolute dictatorship and the organisation of property.” Perhaps these words mean that Mr. Train, or some one whom he can conscientiously recommend, ought to be made dictator in America, and satisfy the working men who have no work to do and the western gentlemen who disapprove of hard money. At present the lecturer is content to accept fees of twenty-five cents a head from intelligent -listeners. Managers of athenamms are assured that “selling tickets beforehand hedges against the storm ” —a figurative American expression, in which “the storm” probably means the lack of public interest. Meantime Mr. Lempert does his part in a munificent way. “ I furnish the lecturer-, three sheet posters, ‘hangers,’ ‘dodgers,’ blackboard (which Mr. Train requires for the stage), tickets, and ticket takers.” Surely it must be well worth while to accept the offer of Mr. Train’s'services, hangers, dodgers, and three sheet posters ! The manager who doubts has only to read the record of Mr. Train’s life, and he must inevitably come to the conclusion that to engage Train is to “ strike oil, Train oil.” If one glorious hour of crowded life be really worth an age without a name, what is the precise value of Mr. Train’s career of fifty years ? This is a question in the rule of three which , may be left to American moralists and arithmeticians. Mr. Train was bom in 1829 (as we learn from a brief abstract and chronicle of his adventures), and never, surely, were hours more “ crowded ” than his ! “ Just for a moment look at this index of a live life,” says the compiler, and we do look, with feelings of awe and of gratitude to Providence, which has set the Atlantic between this small One Horse Island and the glorious energy of George Francis Train. “ God bless the (comparatively) narrow seas that keep him off !” Mr. Train’s earliest recorded exploit is to have been the, grandson of the Rev. Geo. Pickering, who . emancipated his slaves, and, like a sensible person, “declined a Methodist bishopriok.” Mr. Train, too, has made great refusals in his day, and at the age of _ twenty-four "declined Presidency of Australian Republic, .tendered by Ballarat Revolutionists.” The discretion which refused the presidency of a Republic which does not exist was quite worthy of Mr. Train’s maternal ancestor, the Rev. George Pickering. As to education, the new Dictator enjoyed “ two years’ college life iu Holmes’s Grocery Store.” He retains a strong contempt for any college except that in which he and Dr. Scbliemann are the most distinguished modern pupils. With the scorn of the truly practical epicier he asserts that “for two centuries no American University boa produced a man intellectually six feet high.” Greek and Latin education is “exploded,” beholds, “except to manufacture apothecaries and botanists.” “Living linguists cannot understand the dead" is another of his aphorisms which must have some hidden meaning. He also declares that “ college stu- . dents should be taught something more practical and nobler than law, medicine, and theo-

logy.” These ideas are commonly held by people who have been educated behind the counter, and they not only win applause in . America, but are very popular in serious and commercial circles in England. The chapter of Mr. Train’s schooling is soon closed. Having exhausted the lessons to bo .. gathered from figs and the sweet influences of moist sugar, Mr. Train; at the age of twenty,

‘‘ organised prepaid passenger; business ■ and small bills of exchange throughout Europe and America." This sounds very imposing ; hut, thanks to tho wretched character of British education, we admit that it conveys no idea to our mind. Whatever Mr. Train may have done, he founded a house of business ; and the adventures of 1850 are compressed into the eloquent sentence, “ Income ten thousand a year.” Ten thousand a year ! it is the romance of real life. Two summers followed on two winters’ snows, aud Mr. Train’s income was reckoned at fifteen thousand- An English boy would possibly, at tbo age which Mr. Train had attained, have secured a paltry Fellowship. Tired of America aud of Liverpool, Mr. Train, in 1853, introduced stage coaches, railways, Fourth of July celebrations, and telegraphs to Australia. Grateful revolutionists offered him the Presidency, as we have seen; but, observing that no White House was yet elected, Mr. Train put the honor aside. Mr. Train’s later exploits, including the birth of a daughter and the publication of a book, are not of much interest till we reach the date of 1859. Then this restless spirit introduced tramways to Europe, and built the first street railway. We cannot pretend to be grateful, though it may please Mr. Train to learn that the seed sown has fallen on fruitful ground. We are threatened with street railways drawn by steam engines, and a new horror and a fresh danger and eyesore will soon be added, no doubt, to the American improvements adopted in England. When a railway passes screeching on the level of the bedroom windows, London will rival New York in tho plentitude of its mechanical abominations.

In 1862 Mr. Train was tried for manslaughter, aud ” entertained distinguished men at Sunday breakfasts." To give Sunday breakfasts was quite worthy of this restless person, who, in July, was “ knocked down in Faneuil Hall,” and “escaped assassination at Alton.” If an opponent of tramways, maddened by the noise of the bells and the wheels, so far forgot himself as to knock down and try to slay Mr. Train, he has our respectful sympathy, though nothing, of course, can really justify murder. The distinguished men whom Mr. Train entertained at breakfast may regret to hear that their host has “ one thousand personal notes in auto-books,” whatever autobooks may be. In 1885 our hero “ addressed the first Fenian Convention in Philadelphia,” and in 1868 (after building an hotel in sixty days) “gave Susan B. Anthony fifteen thousand dollars to start the Revolution.” A man who owns fifteen thousand dollars seldom wishes to start the Revolution ; but we do not learn from history that Miss Anthony proved the Cleopatra of any “epoch-mak-ing” change in American or European society. In prison often, like other enthusiasts, Mr. Train now “ passed tea months in European jails,” and employed his leisure in “developing epigrams.” In 1569 he ran himself as “ Greenback Candidate for President”; but the time was not yet ripe. Disappointed at home, Mr. Train in 1870 “ organised the Commune ” in Paris, and we fear it must be said that he did not organise it ' well. Perhaps he had the contract for petroleum, and he may have done a good stroke of business in that mineral oil. Ho was imprisoned at Lyons “by Gambetta” and at Chicago by some other person, aud he thinks that “gaol reforms” are among the most pressing wants of the age. Chicago could not be burnt without an accusation against Mr, Train, who was supposed to have set fire to the place to serve his private ends, In 1873 he became, so the document before ns declares, “ President of the Murderers’ Club." He was imprisoned in “ the Tombs,” and the officers used to leave the door open in the fond hope that Train would run away “ and release the Government of a white elephant. Mr. Train at this time turned his energies to the confutation of the Christian religion, which his biographer callsX. “X was collared in tie Tombs,” says the popular biography, just as some people might say that Mr. Spofforth was “ collared ” by Mr. Thorndon at the match between the Australians and the Orleans Club. After “ collaring X,” the intrepid Train “ made the London Times back down;” but really the London Times backs down so often that Mr. Train need not boast of the feat. In 1834 he was converted to the doctrines which he now preaches from every friendly platform that is supported by an adequate number of tickets at twentyfive cents. What are those doctrines ? They are (some of them) already dear to the more feeble-minded friends of advancement in England. Mr. Train became a vegetarian. “Commenced taking two Turkish baths a day. Stopped animal food and Butter condiments. . . . Commenced diet of boiled rice and baked apple twice a day.” In addition to these practices, Mr. Train renounced “the filthy habit of handshaking,” and so far be is on the side of the Turks. He “ permitted no grown person to speak with him but two minutes.” This was his substitute for Comte’s hygiine ceribrale. In 1876 he “abolished anno domini, and adopted his own age, forty-seven, as new departure date of Psychologic Era.” Mr. Train's last recorded exploit was a miracle. He “made a five years’ cripple walk in Madisonsquare.” Mr. Train’s doctrines, which he calls psychological, are the result of the experience of an active life. We do not say that had he not been educated in a grocery he would hove arrived at his psychological opinions. That all men should borrow in gold and pay in paper ; that none should shake hands (and among American politicians the habit may perhaps have its drawbacks); that all should take two Turkish baths every day ; that “Japan should be our model for polite conversation,” are among the stouter “planks” of Mr. Train’s “platform.” He also avers that “funerals when friends gather round the casket spread disease.” When Mr. Train publishes his American Dictionary and Grammar we. may learn that “casket” is American for coffin. “ That vaccination is deadly poison ” we have heard before from Mr. Train’s English teachers or. disciples. For the Millennium of Uncle Tom, and of Evangelical America, Mr. Train has substituted what he calls “the Evolution.”' “Evolution comes,” says the Prophet, “when 60,000 churches are turned into Turkish Baths,” Can the Prophet possibly have a pecuniary interest in Turkish Baths ? If not, there seems little method in the gospel of Mr. George Francis Train. It is good enough for his audience, no doubt, and we can easily believe that Mr. Train is welcome in places where “ the drama is paralyized.” The real fun must bo after the lecture, when the audience is permitted to discuss the doctrines of Mr. Train while he, like Napoleon 111., “ answers for order.” We do not know whether Mr. Train or an admirer is responsible for the “ development” of this “ epigram,” which seems to put the matter in a nutshell;—■

The Present JEvolulioniscd. Working men 1 Pay no taxes ! Start the battle I Grind your Axes 1 The only way to save the nation Is immediate Repudiation t

Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/NZTIM18780905.2.17

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5442, 5 September 1878, Page 3

Word count
Tapeke kupu
2,011

AN AMERICAN PROPHET. New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5442, 5 September 1878, Page 3

AN AMERICAN PROPHET. New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5442, 5 September 1878, Page 3

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