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MUSIC HATH CHARMS.

When I was a aub-lleutcuant in her Majesty’s Navy, I was at one time appointed to the guardship at Portsmouth, and for reasons which it is nob necessary for me to go into, got leave to live ashore, going on hoard to report myself every morning, and of course taking my riiare of duty. I took lodgings on the “ Common, Hard,” near the landing-.plaee, and nice comfortable lodgings they were. During the whole time (some months) which I occupied them, I only had one thing to complain of, aud it is of that one amioyaucc aud its cure that I am going to tell you.

I must begin by explaining that I had a bedroom and sitting-room, opening into each other, on the first floor, and by a somewhat curious arrangement, next to my bedroom was a sitting-room, and next to my sitting-room a bedroom belonging to another set of rooms. About a mouth or so after I had been iu these lodgings, the adjoining rooms were taken by a Mr. Richards, who had come down to Portsmouth with his wife and daughter, in order to he near Ids sou, who was going through tho Naval College, which in those days was at that town, bub has since been moved to Greenwich.

Mr.Riohavda was a rather stout, gentlemanly person of about fifty ; his wife was fair, fat, ami forty ; and their daughter a very “missish" child of nine, who was fondly supposed by her parents to have “ such a taste for music tho darling,” aud accordingly practised scales aud singing (save tho mark !) morning, noun, aud night. Unfortunately for my repose, their piano was against the wall of their sitting-room, which separated it from my bedroom, aud my bed was placed exactly on tho opposite side of the same “half-brick” wall; so that when, at seven o’clock of the morning after tho Richards family’s arrival, Miss Musical began prancing up aud down her scale’s very much out of time aud tune, I had the full benefit of the performance.

I stood it as long as I coitld, say for two minutes, aud then began a “ devil’s tattoo” on my left side of tho wall. The only effect that this had was that tho sweet child immediately put down the full pedal aud away harder than ever. My next move was to violently ring tho bell; aud on the “slavey’s” answering it, I sent a polite message to Mr. Richards, asking that the practice should be deferred to a later hour ; but whether Mr. Richards was still “in the arms of Murphy ” and consequently did not receive my message, or whether he thought my request unreasonable, -certain it is that the tum-turn-.ti-tum wont on as before. It at last became quite unbearable, and bouncing out of bed (after swearing vengeance and beating a final drum solo on the wall), I jumped into my tub, dressed, and went on board. At tho hour when gin palaces moat do flourish, or in other words, about 10 o’clock that night, might have been seen (if any one had been there to see it) a dark, mysterious figure, bearing a still more mysterious figurein its arms, entering the house iu which both tho Richards family and your obedient servant lodged. Mysterious figure No. 1 was ray servant, who was also the bass trombone player of the ship’s baud ; the mysterious bundle in his arms was his instrument carefully enveloped iu a great coat. The Richards family were early in their habits, aud at eleven o’clock, while smoking my meditative pipe, I heard tho thud-thud of their boots being thrown outside their doors. Giving them half un-hour to get comfortably asleep, I seized my weapon, tho bass trombone, ami, considering that it was my first attempt, flatter myself that I got* Borne very fair sounds out of it. Mi*. Richards, however, Rccmed to have a different opinion on tho subject, for in about ton seconds after my first G flat a duplicate of my morning’s performance on tho wall was heard, but this time from tho other ride of it. Quite unmoved by this, I continued my musical operations, and went on until a knock came to my door ; which knock, one could tell from the Round of it, was given by someone in jj, state of suppressed rage. Having quietly said “ come in,” I went on with the nearest approach I could muster to “The last rose of summer," which did very well for slow music for Mr, Richards’ entrance.

That worthy gentleman appeared arrayed in a white nightcap, well down over his oars, a blue flannel dressing-gown, list slippers, and a remarkably red face. Rising with tho greatest politeness, I assured him that X was delighted to make his acquaintance, and that I was much flattered by his visiting me without ceremony. I thou offered him a chair, and asked what he would take to drink. This was too much for him. He told me that my conduct was inoat

ungentlemanly, that ho would prosecute mo as a public nuisance, that he would complain to the landlady, and that he would leave the house to morrow. Whilst this eloquent speech was being made, I kept up a gentle accompaniment on my trombone; aud our duet continued very pleasantly-—so far as I was concerned at least—for sonic time. When.ever'he r used his voice, I blew with increased fervor ; and whenever from want of breath he loweAid his tones, the trombone softened in sympathy. At last he was quite overcome with rage, aud subsided into the nearest chair with an almost apoplectic gasp. Having gained my point so far, aud he being reduced to a state iu which he could not interrupt me, I laid aside my instrument of torture, aud calmly aud logically explained that as “what was sauce for the goose was sauce for the gander,” if it wa? fair for Ids daughter to commence strumming on the piano within six inches of my head at seven o’clock in the morning, it was equally fair for me to commence learning the bass trombone or any other instrument at eleven o’clock at night. To clinch the matter conclusively, I assured hiiq that if anyone played the piano in, the room next to mine before I was out of bed I would have the whole ship’s band, of 25 performers, t > practice new music every night from eleven to one. This settled the matter, and in ten minutes we were amicably discussing a glass of grog, he having undertaken that the piano should be kept locked from five p.m. to 9 a.m., While I on my part promised to give up learning any new musical Instrnrftcnts iu my room while he‘ was ray neighbor ; and I ,am happy to say that the agreement; was faithfully kept by both contracting parties, ambthat we Were afterwards the best of friends. WiiP,

Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/NZTIM18780803.2.26.10

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5414, 3 August 1878, Page 1 (Supplement)

Word count
Tapeke kupu
1,156

MUSIC HATH CHARMS. New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5414, 3 August 1878, Page 1 (Supplement)

MUSIC HATH CHARMS. New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5414, 3 August 1878, Page 1 (Supplement)

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