SPECIAL EPISTLE.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5363, 5 June 1878, Page 3

SPECIAL EPISTLE.

/ ' (To the Saturday Advertiser.) Lambton-quay, Wellington, May 27th.— I hear there’s grate goins intirely wid sume o’ the Opposition papers, hekaise we wouldn’t give thim the Guvmiut • advertisements Muaha ! sweet bad luck to their impidence ; what the diokins has the likes o’ thim to do wid the distribution av our favors. Sure, we’re in office, so we are ; an’ we can do as wa plaise wid our own, so we can. Och man alive ! it’s a grand thing to be a Ministher, so it is ; and though mesilf houlds office widhout aportfoley,—still, av coorse me collaigs always axes ,mei advice before they ingage in any important, undhertakin. Therefore, it was only nathral to ixpeot that Mao would give mea call before he decided to sind his advertisin’ circular r to the heads o’ the departments.;, Accordingly, we tuk ; tay together the other night, mesilf an’ Mac an Stout (Sir. George bein’ away at; the time). Afther tay we adjourned to a Cabinet aayance, an’ afther making the acquaintance o' some familiar sperrits (Kinahan* rale ould crame-o'-tarther), Mac comminced the business be openin’ the discoorse —“ Now Paddy asthore,” ■ses he, “ we’re thinkin I 'about goin’,in for retrinobment; sure it’s disgraceful to see the way the people’s money is thrown away in advertisin’ in ivery mane rag that chooses to bullyrag us,”-ses he. “ It’s only raisonable ;that people should support their own, an’ be-gorra ;I’in determined.,to make good useo*. .me time, so I ; am,” ses he. " Arrah, more power to yer elbows, Jimmy avick,” ses I, “ sure there’s po knowin’ihow.long we,may last, and be jabers; we may as swell butther our bread when we’ve a chance,” ses I. “Well Paddy,”, ses he, “I think it’s a monsthrous piece o’ injustice, that a dirty rag beye, in Wellin’ton, that’s only been in existence a; long number o’ years, should have our advertisin’ support, whin ther’s our own special..organ, that’s acktually a whole . six week ould, lift out .in the could,” ses be. • Begorra,,flesh an’ blood can’t stand it,” ses he. “An’ thin agin there’s the Dunaydin Aye an’- Star an’ Herald, wid ther palthry circulations of a few thousands a day, whilst we can count the issue o’ the Ministerial journal be the—-i- 1 -” ses he. At this point in the discoorse, the Attorney Giniral, who was saited listenin’ in the corner,- intherposed’ whilst! a tinge o’ crimson mounted >to his timples, and ses he, “Och; boys dear, don’t spaike o’ tbat’or ye’ll make me blush,” ses he, “Tare-an-onu-thers, don’t hurt me feelins boys, for sure ye know I’m a directhor o’ the new company," ses he, “ and faix it would’nt look daciut for me to intherfere undher the sarcumstanceS,” ses hej ”so be yer lave I’ll make me eggs-sit, afore ye commince to hatch sioh a plot, for sure I don’t want to feather my own nest,” ses he. So he took his hat and left the Cabinet afore we had time to stop him. “Be gog, it’s jist like him,” ses Mao as he watched the rethraitin figer of our collaige. “ Sure his feelins are so tindherly shtrung that the shock might kill him, if he hard that we had the slightest intintion of using our infuince to his picounnary advantage, so we’ 11 jistsettle the matther betime ourselves Pat, agrah,” ses Mac, as we implied off the fifth, tumbler aich. Well, to make a long story short, we dhrew up the circular betwixt us, as the result will be an mormons savin to the couuthry in the raatther o’ money. Besides, it’ll save the vast majority o’ the people o’ the colony from wastin time in wadin through sthrings o’ Gdvirmint advertisements, that can’t possibly concam thim. ■ So ye see, we desarye the thanks d’ the public in more' ways thin one. It’s a rail-i-Sation o’ the ould proverb “ What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve for;” besides, there’s only two or three inin in the counthry who thoroughly understand Goveriniut conthracts, and therefore the Public Works annoucements are only thrown away on everybody else. No ‘more at present, , ; Paddy Muiu'Hy.