NOTES UPON THE NEWS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5278, 23 February 1878, Page 1 (Supplement)

NOTES UPON THE NEWS.

(from an occasional contributor.) RUSSIA BEWARE —A YANKEE'S NOTION OF BRITISH VALOR—THE DOCTOR AND THE “ SICK -MAN ” SOFT HEADS AND HEARTS—LARRIKIN LEVITIES —THE TIME O’ DAY—MADDENING CUSTOMS —BOOKIES BEWARE. Wheu I was in Melbourne a little while hgo I hoard a comlque, named the “ Great Laroche," sing a patriotic song with immense success. The applause was terriffic, .and contrary to all rule established at high-toned concerts, the audience joined in the chorus, which ran as follows “ Wo don’t want to fight; but still if wo do, AV'o'vo got the ships, wo'vo got the men, we’vo got the money too— WoVo thrashed the Bear before, and can do so again, Tho itussians shall not take Constan-tt-no-o-o-pul.” I have not the slightest doubt that this menace to the Bear is an importatiou from London, and lias been howled by anti-Kussiaus with stentorian fervor at tho mass meetings, where the mob were -so divided as to which Power was to be drubbed that ■ they turned to and drubbed one another. Now. it appears that Kussia has to some extent taken ■ Constantinople, oral any rate shown that she will do as she likes without any consideration for the opinion or menace of England, whose voice has not been very powerful or much

heeded in European counsels lately. As .the ■' song says, “ We’ve got the ships, we’ve got the men, and got the money too.” The cost of these ships and men, and of keeping pace with the times in expensive military and naval experiments and preparations, is something enormous, but we seem no nearer to auy restraining of Russia than ever. The telegram announcing the ready voting of the war, loan and attack upon Mr. "Gladstone’s house raised my hopes a bit, and, meeting; my Yankee friend, I somewhat confidently predicted a speedy challenge to and annihilation of Russia. “No, sir,” he said, “you Britishers won’t fight this time—you’ll wait . till, some sick nigger king refuses to pay a storekeeper his dry goods account, and then you’ll march out your army and chaw him up with the loss of one on your side, and:gef home and sing “ I’e Deum,” and make a score or so. of fresh lords and dukes—or you’ll catch a South Sea savage interfering with your own

pet slave trade, and belt away at his bamboo citadel, five miles away, with Armstrong guns,' and afterwards talk largely about British retribution.” War between England and America was declared then and there, and no field of carnage of modern times is gory enough to compare with the spot upon which I vindicated my country’s greatness. During my temporary retirement for repairs I musedmuchuponthissca'thing sarcasm,which had excited my wrath, and I feel that there is a measure of truth in it. We have had a good deal to say in European quarrels of late, and have talked war more than once, but peace at any price seems to suit the times at Home. If we are to hold India and be in the swim of nations we must show our muscle, and the longer we put off the evil day the harder will be, especially if we come to be considered as a bloated fat man who is too rich to fight. The report that Turkey is to form au alliance with Kussia is very funny, and reminds me of marital quarrels. A man is whopping j his wife, some one interferes, when the latter immediately makes common cause with her husband, and both “go” for the peacemaker. All the sympathy wasted upon the Mussulman has seemingly served to endear her tyrant to her The softness of heart—if not of head—of our local magistrates was never better exemplified than when they were called upon to deal with a cheerful youth of some fifteen summers who had gore into a girls’ school, routed the young school marm in charge, set his “dorg” on to the children, made printers’ pie of the needles and thread, slates, pencils, samplers’ books, and other paraphernalia, and on being remonstrated with by the mistress went; for that lady in a fashion worthy of Tom Sayers. The charge ' ■ was substantiated, and the Bench fined the young larrikin in a small sum. Fearful, however, that there was not, hero worship enough in Wellington to induce anybody to pay the amount, or that his relatives might hail ai separation from young hopeful, for even twenty-four hours, with pleasure, they were much exercised in their minds lest he should be contaminated by being sent to gaol. Perhaps, however, the concern they exhibited Was evoked in the interests of the other 'prisoners. Had the affair happened in Melbourne the corporate larrikins would have taken this hoodlum from the prison doors with colors flying, and made him captain of a district that would have afforded a good field for his playful proclivities. Father Henuebery is distinguishing himself in the South. Lately he called upon the Devil to run away bodily with Mr. Charles Bright. As hia Satanic Majesty still allows the popular lecturer to occupy the Free Thought platform his presence amongst us will be taken as a proof that his views are correct, unless the ' rev. father is smart enough to argue that the Devil defers the seizure in order that more mischief may he done, and because he can ::; take Mr. Bright at any time he chooses. “ What is the time ?” asked a merchant ,of his clerk one day last week. : “ Time !” was the ready rejoinder, “ three forty-four and three- ' tenths —-very smart, hut not so good as Don Juan’s by over ten seconds.” “I thiuk.it time,” said the old gentleman, “ that you took a little more interest in my business, or it will Boon he time for us to part.” There is no necessity in this country to go to the trouble of illegally consigning any wealthy relative to a lunatic asylum for the sake of his money, as is often attempted at Home.' A much simpler and decidedly more efficacious plan is to send him several small parcels from a distant port, and have them entered upon the ship’s manifest. If ■ the consignee is not soon driven frantic and desperate by Customs officials, declarations, entries, aud the mass of red-tapeism which clutches the whale proceedings like the tentacul® of i the octopus, or run over as he threads his way through the labyrinth of drays, cabs, and • express " wagons on the wharf, he is a strongminded and lucky man. The chances are • that he'will go mad and try to bite the 'collector. I can see something noble in trying to protect local industries and benefit the working man by means of the Custom Hov.se, even if the principle be erroneous, as free-traders allege; but I’ll be banged if I believe in a system so harassing as that by which we raise revenue while pretending to abhor “protection.” Is bookmaking a recognised profession 1 is a question that ought to receive the immediate and earne-t consideration of the Legislature, if such outrages'as one reported in the Christ- ; church papers are to be repeated. • The , police arrested one E. T. Bligh,, generally known as “Teddy Bligh,” at one of the most respectable boarding-houses in the City of the Plains. Money and bills for over £56 were found upon him, yet-they proceeded to search his boxes, and took him to gaol as a vagrant. When put into the witueas-box, the arresting constable had nothing, whatever to say against the prisoner—he owned that he was never illconducted or rowdy. The charge was that Bligh had no profession, and was seen about with the betting men and gamblers.. Numbers - of the most responsible persons attended to give the accused a character. Of course .the case was dismissed ; but during their domiciliary visit the police found in one, Of Bligh’s boxes ; a spoon marked with the initials of an hotelkeeper at whose house ho had stayed. :He was therefore (so determined were the justices to “ fit him with : . something ”) seriously charged with stealing it. The landlord acquitted Bligh of any dishonest intentions; and it was clearly enough proved. . that the spoon had been used by a sick brother bookmaker, to measure medicine in, and, its removal from the hotel was in no why felonious or even intentional. Such a , deter- , is by no means creditable in: a body supposed to protect instead of injure people. If the Christchurch police made a raid upon, all - bookmakers, and the law refused to allow i their calling to shield them from the 1 provisions of the Vagrant Act, and the prosecution were one of a number to he instituted,.it would bo justifiable ; hut while a largo body of , men of Bligh’s stamp are allowed to live at;the best hotels, and frequent any.society to which money is an, open sesame, an invidious attack upon. one • points to some discreditable animus.