NOTES UPON THE NEWS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5266, 8 February 1878, Page 3

NOTES UPON THE NEWS.

(riiOH AN OCCASIONAL CONTRIBUTOU.)

A “ Bump”-er—the Father of hia Country —The Spread at Alexandra—Nice Guests—A King’s costume—Coquetting with Civilization —The Incantation Scene—First Witth—A Pretty Doctor—Running the Country—A Levanting Levy-athan—The Cup that Cheers —&c., &o. There was a time when the festive Maori was more given to raising bumps upon the cranium of the European than gently manipulating his head in order to find indications of character. To Whare’s diagnosis of Mr. Sheehan’s skull, after the approved fashion of craniologists, which resulted he declared iu the discovery that the honorable gentleman’s moat prominent development is the bump of philoprogenitiveness, was evidently one of those flattering fictions indulged in by simple children of nature when they wish to bo complimentary to their friends or guests, and was meant to convey a belief in him as “the father of his country.” It Was doubtless a polite Maori way of styling the Native Minister a second Washington. It is to bo regretted, perhaps, that the learned but dusky phrenologist was not provided with one of the charts with which his professional brethren supply their constituents; for, filled up with Native candour and nice attention to detail, such a document would help considerably to arrive at an id.a of the rubicund statesman’s character and capabilities. Human nature is pretty much alike, whether the cuticle covering it be white or of a good washing color, andthestoringandpresentation of food iu honor of the Premier's visit to Tawhino is but a noble savage’s Loudon Tavern banquet. The gastronomioal capacity of the Maori at these munificent spreads is, I believe, somewhat startling, and it was as well that enough prog had been collected to satisfy the guests ; otherwise, with such hungry and not to say anthropological gentry as Te Kooti and Sullivan’s murderer about, Sir George might possibly have formed a portion of the feast. The responsible advisers of hia Majesty King Tawhiaodid illinnot persuading their master to appear at the welcome of his sistersovereignrepresentative in more suitable costume, especially as there was present on tho occasion an eminent sculptor, who could and may perpetuate tho scene iu the most enduring form. What however would the future arohscologist think, provided that Mr. Marshall Wood sees fit to sculp the greeting, and the marble photograph is unearthed in ages to come, of a group representing a grave Caucasian gentleman being gazed at

by an immobile Polynesian decked out in a rig"'’somethin" between that' 1 of ■ a ■ decayed: Iri»h gentleman and an lunatic ? Tawhiao might have adhered to his native, costume, and have been enveloped in matting like sugar, instead of making an ignoble com-: promise*by adorning his upper person in a waistcoat ’ and shawl, while his nether limbs were bare, as if civilisation had taken possession of his body, but had not reached his legs., If the management of the Theatre Royal produce “ Macbeth ” during Miss Ada Ward's forthcoming season, they will add greatly to the interest of the piece by localising the incantation scene, and reproducing the meeting between the two potentates at Alexandra as described by Press correspondents. A semicircle of tents at the base of a low range ; the sign of welcome by the King's sister carrying a silver-tipped wand ; the chant and tangi ; the old man inscrutable leaning on an Alpinestock, surrounded by fantastically-dressed fol-

lowers intoning Hauhau prayers, if got up with any regard for truth, would be a pleasing divergence from the stereotyped “bubble bubble 1 ’ business ; and if a certain journalist who follows hia chief to the field could bo persuaded to play first witch as becomes a wicked old woman, the unities might in some degree be preserved ; nor would it be a startling innovation if Sir George Grey were to appear and exclaim, with Banquo, “ . . . have we eaten on the insane roet that takes the reason prisoner;” seeing that with their usual lust after sensationalism Ins supporters endeavored to work up a bogus poisoning denouement. Dr. Dale, of the immigrant ship Renfrewshire, lately arrived at Napier, must be a cheerful sort of man to allow decided homocidal tendencies to take possession of him upon the high seas. The erratic medico objected, it seeing to the captain battening down the hatches in the face of an impending gale, and called out, like a modern Pistol, for the passengers to declare under which king they

would serve. “ Who is for the captain and who for the doctor ?” the mad sawbones exclaimed as he proceeded to throw the hatches overboard; and because the skipper just tapped him over his hot head with a belaying pin, or administered some such caution in vogue amongst master mariners, the impetuous Dale hailed him before the centurions of Hawke’s Bay. The engineer was, however, hoist with his own petard; for the Bench marvelled that the captain had dealt so lightly with a mutineer whom jre might very justiliably have sent summarily to a higher tribunal, and they dismissed the case, and asked Halo to be a dispenser of several pounds as costs, for appealing to the glorious uncertainty of the law. I have interviewed the gentleman who descants so eloquently upon the value and merits of his wares, at the base of the wharf, in such vigorous trans-Atkint'c AngloSaxon. He says that when he -first began to “dig down” business was real brisk, his goods went off like hot cakes, but now getting; mouey.from people is as hard as drawing eye. teeth. Other men of business. bewail this latter fact,-if- they do not expr-ss themselves so graphically. I asked the itinerant philosopher his opinion of the cause of the ruling depression, and he attributed it to undue competition in business and too many senators running the Government. His standard of political morality is very low, and must be the outcome of American, and not of New Zealand experience. -He said, “ The move of those fellers you have bossing the public funds and estate, the move you have to pay, and the more they help themselves to. This country ought to be run as cheaply as a decent sized ho-tel. By the time you get as many folks here as the State machinery would do for, they will have had such a rough deal, and their wits will be so razor-set by adversity, that they’ll bo shipping “ notions ” of their own contriving to Connecticut, and Philadelphia lawyers will send their sons to study sharp practice in the Empire City. That’s so, sir ;—who’ll have a pateut'glasa-cutter, a canopCner, a scissors-sharpener ?” &c., &c. .Levy can add another title to the long list of those already bestowed upon him by agents and other admirers. As he has by this time placed agood portion of the Pacific Ocean between him and sundry creditors, he had better in future style himself “ Bevy, the Levy-athan Levanter.” It will be alliterative and euphonious, and serve capitally to designate one who deserts those who have trusted him, in a strange country, with no better means of sub-isting or getting away than a number of bis promises to pay. There is’ a general prejudice against those who habitually blow their own trumpet, and Mr. Levy would seemingly, as the greatest “ blower” in the universe, prove that the want of confidence in blowers generally is not undeserved. The Australian cricketers, I see by telegram, express satisfaction with the Auckland ground, and say that better arrangements are made than for the Canterbury match. No doubt amongst the arrangements made they miss those for thoroughly beating them, and such arrangements will of course be eminently satisfactory. As it generally rains during our racing carnival, it may not be inappropriate to call the Yv r ellingt m Cup “ the flowing bowl,” but whether it should be run in future on the Basin Reserve is another question. Mocha.