LOVE IN LARGE FAMILIES.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXIII, Issue 5262, 4 February 1878, Page 3

LOVE IN LARGE FAMILIES.

We would invite commiseration lor the luckless swain who happens to fall in love with one of half a dezcn sisters,, none of .whom are married, and all of whom are living under the paternal roof. That man, we will venture to say, has before him oue of the most disagreeable and difficult tasks to be met with during the long campaign of life. We may lay it down as an almost absolute rule that it is easier to marry off an ouly daughter, who is at the same time an only child and an heiress, than it is to get engaged to one of six girls,"each of' whom is moreor less willing—let us say—to find a lover, and all of whom the parents would gladly see established in life. In the case of an only daughter, a certain loneliness, which she necessarily experiences from the fact ef having no sisters, fosters in her the romantic temparament. Though she may be, for a girl, fairly frank and ingenuous, depend upon it she cherishes in her heart certain thoughts, fancies, ideals, and hopes, which'she. does; not communicate to her parents. She abstains from doing so because she instinctively kuows that she will,not,meet from themall the sympathy she'requires!" H.or parents would probably,be perfectly kind, hut, instead qf agreeing with her absolutely, they,would give her good advice, which is by ho means the,.thins; she wants. A girl so placed s muoli more' likely to be romantic, and what is called sentimental, than one who occupies a less solitary, position. She thinks more, feels more, dwells, more pa-l thetically on images of love and romance, and the man who woes her findslihe, ground ready prepared for his undertaking. Re is ;the visible, embodiment of her [abstract ideas and vague' visions .and if she is once- disposed; to. regard l him with' favor, there’ is no one to interfere’ with the advance of that sentiment into admiration and love.' Her parents' may die .ppruvei of his suit, and may finally say so ; but there* is nothing in their disapprobation to weaken ■ the attachment, already formed, but rathereverything to strengthen it. , The maa who intrudes upon a family of five or six girls finds a very different sort of ground for his exploits, and meets with a far more complex reception. When there are six sisteis living together, they do not allow of secrets, even in thought being, kept. from each other. The solitary daughter lives, so to speak, a private life, no matter how great the, number of her acquaintances, for if she , chooses a confidante, she chooses one only, and one who will second, and not check her own sentiments and aspirations. But girls cannot choose their own sisters. These the whole six are, together, and they form a society which is not altogether a co-operative society. The moment a young fellow makes his appearance, lie is the object of a critical examination, not by one only, but by the entire half-dozen, aiding and abetting each other in the scrutiny. So long as lie remains on a footing of mere acquaintance with the family, he is criticised as fairly and dispasionately as human beings ever are by each other. But the moment he begins to testify a distinct preference for one out of the six, he exposes himself to observation and comments of a less equitable kind. He is discussed, and discussed without reserve, in the presence of the one for whom lie is exhibiting a preference ; and this not from jealousy, or malice, or indeed any distinctively bad motive, but because he has suddenly evoked a livelier and peculiar interest in himself in the whole family, and because they live their lives and speak their thoughts publicly and among each other, and their is no view of him, that is ■ taken by any oue member, that is not communicated to the rest, the object of his suit included. We fear it must ever remain true that love credits the loved one with perfections he does not possess, and fails to perceive in him imperfections that are glaring. In other and older words, love is blind. But large families do not allow any of their members t>' be blind. Five sisters take good care that the sixth shall be well acquainted with all the peculiarities and defects of the man who is making love to her.