THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 5131, 3 September 1877, Page 3

THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

(From the New Zealand Mai^.)

Qui scit an adjiciant hodierme crastina summee Tempera Di Superi.—Horace.

Mr. Reader Wood was kind enough the other day to criticise the work of the late Mr. Clayton, Colonial Architect. Mr. Wood himself, as he was subsequently reminded by Mr. Moorhouse, has practised as an architect, and has at least one monument to his abilities standing in Auckland. In this case I believe the original design of the building was almost faultless. But one trivial alteration had to be made in the plans and specifications, and this had not to be done until just previous to the completion of the contract. It was then found that though admirable in all other respects, the building was unprovided with doors, and that none were to be found on the plans.

Mr, Gisborne, being shortsighted and wanting to read from a paper during Tuesday’s sitting of the House, reached downwards for his spectacles, and in the abstraction of mind common to genius, took up his hat, put it on his head iu defiance of standing orders, and amidst general laughter, seemed to_ wonder why his powers of vision were not assisted. Said Mr. Travers during the debate on “Jones”: —“I have no doubt iny utterances in this House will be treated by the Press_ of the colony as they deserve.” Since the sitting of the House Mr. Travers’ utterances have been most frequent, and I have noticed that they have never once been commented on by the Press of the colony. Some one has said that unpopularity in politics is' at all events a mark of independence. If this be true, I have no hesitation iu saying that before long Mr. Pees will be the most independent man south of the Equator. I am lost in admiration of the special telegrams received by the Evening Post. I have no doubt that they come from Europe, because in one . of them the other day we had, under the heading “London,” news that the Wallsend coal mine had fallen in, and I see by the Australian papers that it was the Wallsend coal mine at Newcastle, New South Wales, that succumbed to superincumbent pressure. After this the proprietors of the Post will surely receive from the public that credit for enterprise so frequently claimed by them, for it is certainly expensive and enterprising to get Australian news telegraphed via Loudon.

The designation J.P., especially when it comes what is called ex officio, is understood to mean, I believe, Justice of the Peace. It should have a new meaning, and be understood to mean “Judge of the Insane.” My reason for making this latter observation is, that, if I am not misinformed, after two medical men last week had pronounced that they believed a man to be insane, and had sworn to their belief, an ex officio J.P., on his own judgment, was inclined to pronounce the man sane, by refusing to sign the certificate necessary before he could be sent to an asylum. I want to be the first to give publicity to the rumor. My friend McSwiney tells rne that everyone knows that something awful is likely to come out about the manner in which the Mayor kept his name on the ratepayers’ roll for the present year. I have not the slightest doubt on the matter. These rumors are always awful—awful in their consequences to those who put them about. As it is conceded by a section of my readers that I know pretty well everything, and as it is agreed by another section that I am in every respect a mere empiric, I am anxious to give what sporting men would call a straight tip for the municipal elections. The tip is this:—Cook Ward, Messrs, Greenfield, George, and Hunter; Te Aro, Messrs. Krull, McDonald, and Logan ; Lambton, Messrs. Mills, Moss, and Dransfield ; Thorndon,. Messrs. Raiuie, Allen, and Charles Johnston. Complaisance in bank clerks has not yet altogether passed into a proverb, but judging from what I witnessed the other day, a favorable tendency in that direction may be expected. By a concatenation of events, I found myself on Saturday in a banking establishment, with a cheque to change. An unknown gentleman was there before mo, presenting a cheque for £25. The following dialogue ensued; — Unknown gentleman (handing cheque): Will you cash that please? Bank clerk (with an air of condescension): How will you take it ? U. G.: In “ fives.” B. C.: We have nothing but “ ones, but we have plenty of gold.” Remark of my own, “ Happy the bank that has plenty of gold.” During the discussion on the Education Bill on Friday Mr. Rees treated the House to a “brilliant flash of silence.” The House enjoyed the treat.' It is true he might have spoken previously in the debate, and' so did not care to speak again ; but surely the House had to be indebted to Ids courtesy in not moving an adjournment, and so getting a chance of opening the floodgates of his eloquence. The story is an old one in Otago, but being reminded of it by an old Otago friend, I am tempted to repeat it. Mr. Kauldkail had put on Mr. Hotbrose’s run 3000 sheep on terms as to increase and profits on the wool. Both gentlemen being pillars of the kirk, Kauldkail never inquired about his sheep for three years. At the end of that time he arrived at his friend’s homestead one Sabbath night too late for tea, but just in time for family prayers. Weary as he was, he might have been excused for not paying particular attention'to Hotbrose’s exhortations. But self-interest soon compelled him to be an attentive listener. For Hotbrose began at once to pray that his dear fellowworker in the Lord, Kauldkail, might .be strengthened linger the afflictions which Providence had sent upon him, which involved the death of all lambs born of his sheep, and the subsequent loss of the sheep under a Scab Act. At the same time Providence was thanked tor the peculiar manifestation of its bounties which enabled each of Hotbrose’s ewes to bear two lambs, and all the lambs to survive.