Page 2 Advertisements Column 1

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 5094, 21 July 1877, Page 2 (Supplement)

rent ale is ZVTow T 2MI 4d -lid Hd Ud SMI 4kl 6d Sid 10M 12|tl l5.Jd 16Jd 18id 2MI 3id THE FOLLOWING 3d | UNPARALLELED BARGAINS WILL BE OFFERED BJd lUd 12 id 14 id 7id 12id Uid 16 id Is lid 2s 9d 3s Cd 5s lid Cs 9d 8s 9d C LOT ITING DEPAIvTM ENT, IE ARO HOUSE. ■ scotch HOSIER* MEN’S TROUSERS AID VESTS. 19s 6d 23s 6d 24s 6d 28s 6d 31s 6d 37s 6d Reduced to Reduced to Reduced to Reduced to Reduced to Reduced to 12s Gd 16s 6d 19s 6d 21s 6d 24s 6d 25s 6d GEELONG TWEED. GENUINE. MEN’S PAPER COLLARS, 4d. MEN’S OVERCOATS, (BLUE PETERSHAM ULSTER) reduced to 19s 6d. BLUE CHESTERFIELD, REDUCED TO 295. 6d. TIE REDUCriONS MADE ARE THOROUGHLY GENUINE, WHILE ALL THE GOODS CAN BE HONESTLY RECOMMENDED FOR STYLE, FINISH, AND DURABILITY. BOY’S SUITS. BUGBY IS STILL UNMARRIED. However much nerve the young man must possess before he can ask a lady to hecoum his wife, it certainly requires more for him to work himself up to that pitch where he cau uubiushingly ask her father for his consent in the matter. One Sunday night, last summer, Rugby was drawing near the abode of his affianced, when he saw her father seated under a cherry-tree in the yard. What better opportunity would ever present itself 1 He thought to himself none. He turned about and walked around the square Just as the man who has a tooth to be exti acted will walk rapidly by the dentist’s—a number of times before he ventures in. Rugby’s head grew 6rst hot and then cold, as he thought of the fearful undertaking before him. He reached the garden gate and entered. He had passed through the gate many times before, but he never felt as he did now; nor was the feeling imaginary, it was terribly real. With a trembling step and giddy biain he approached to within ten feet of where the old gentleman was seated, and gasped, Please, sii. The person addressed made no response. If a force-pump of 40-horse power had been injecting hot blood into his head, it could not have felt worse. He moved forward about two inches. “ Please, s j r i j j ” tliis was as far as he got, for his tongue seemed to he about as thick as an Arctic' overshoe. The party addressed did not seem to move a muscle, but everything else was swimming about promiscuously. Rugby moistened his feverish lips with his tongue, and then began where he left off. “ I love yo ’’ He could proceed no further. If that little word love had been a green apple lodged in his throat, it could not have come any nearer to choking him. It stuck there almost as solid as though it was a lump of cold glue. He wished in his heart that he hadnt undertaken the task ; but there he was, and no power of himself to get away. He was about to speak again, when his heart gave such a thump against his vest that it frightened the hat off his head. Composing himself a little, he began at the beginning. “ Please, sir, I love your daughter, anc l ’ ” This was about one-third of what he had to say, but it seemed far less, there was so much remaining. It was now getting to be quite dark. The old gentlemans indifference made Rugby more desperate, and he determined to finish what he had to say, come life or death. “ Please, sir, I love your daughter, and wish to make her my wife. Do you give your consent ?’ And with this question he rushed forward and flung himself on his knees before the old gentleman. Just then a gust of wind shook the tree, and the old gentleman, which proved to be a scarecrow placed there to frighten away the robins, fell over on Rugby and tipped-him into the mud. Rugby is still unmarried.—Danbury News. A “ PASSENGER-METER.” The passenger-meter which has just been placed on tho Second-avenue cars, possesses in a liiMi degree the distinguished merits of the gas-meter. It consists of a turnstile placed at the door of°the car, through which every passenger must pass on entering. The turnstile is connected with an iron box furnished with a dial-plate, resembling, to some extent, that of the gas-meter. Whenever anyone enters the car the turnstile revolves, and a new figure is added to the sum displayed ou the dial-plate. Were this all that the passenger-meter is capable of doing, its superiority to the gas-meter would not be apparent j but, in point of fact, the record of the entrance of passengeis is only a part of its work. Whenever a passenger leaves the car, he increases by one the sum of figures on the dial, and whenever the conductor passes from the platform to the interior of the car, or returns to his post of observation, the active meter charges him with another passenger, Thus as this * - „ ■ its greatest celerity when the car to which it is attached is not in use. The othei day the dial on one of the Second-avenue cars, at the hour of 9 o’clock a.nr., asserted that 18,006 passengers had already entered the car. The shameless mendacity of this assertion was worthy of the boldest gasmeter, and the haggard face of the conductor showed that he perfectly understood the passengermeter was ruining him. Now, there can be no doubt that in the silence of the previous night, while that cart was locked up in the depot, the meter had been registering imaginary passengers with frightful rapidity. From 12 o’clock at midnight to 6 o’clock the next morning it must have falsely charged the conductor with at least 17,500 passengers at five cents each. He knew that when his day’s work was ended ho would he called upon to account for these fares. It was no wonder that, with this terrible catastrophe impending over him, he became utterly reckless, and occasionally whirled tho 'turnstile, charging himself with a dozen more imaginary passengers, and grimly smiling at the vastnoss of his ruin. PER ROX. MEN’S WATERPROOF OVERCOATS, (SUPER LAWN), ss. 9d. LADIES’ BLUE PILOT JACKETS 9s. 9d. BOY’S OVERCOATS, CHESTERFIELD. PAPER FRONTS, per dozen, 7id OXFORD FRONTS, per dozen, Is lid FRENCH PEAK CAPS, lUd WOOL MUFFLERS (2 yards long), Is. 6d. WOOL MUFFLERS (2f yards long), 2s. MEN’S FELT HATS, 2s Gd, regular price, 6s. Od. JAMES SMITH, TE AEO HOUSE CUBA STREET, TO SECURE THE TEMPERANCE CAUSE. WELLINGTON. He stood on a chair in the dusk of the evening, and as a crowd gathered round he began :—“ Wine is a mocker—-strong drink is raging. The Lord made cold water—Satan made whisky!”—(Pause.) “Let me tell you what I saw. Last night I saw a white-headed old man at the bar. I pleaded with him to come away, but he was deaf to my words. He filled a glass with deadly liquor, and as it went gurgling down his throat, I said to him, ‘ Old man, thou art doomed ?” ‘ He laughed a cynical laugh, and he cursed me—ah ! cursed the the man who sought to save him!”—. (Commotion in the crowd.) This morning,” continued the man, “I was at the morgue, where the unknown dead rest on the cold slabs. I did not think that my words of the night before would come back to me with such awful significance.” (Crowd drew closer.) “ I looked through the glass door, and, my hearers, what do you think I saw on the cold slabs before me V “ The old man !” shouted twenty voices in chorus, “ No, my friends, I didn’t see a darned thing !” Several men chased him, but he made good his escape. A CHOICE OP BARGAINS SOLILOQUY OF A RATIONALISTIC CHICKEN. Moat strange ! Most queer, although most excellent a change I Shades on the prison-house, ye disappear ! Thy fettered thoughts have won a wider range, And, like my legs,-are free ; No longer huddled up so pitiably: Free now to pry and probe, and peep and peer, And make these mysteries out. Shall a free-thinking chicken live in doubt ? For now in doubt undoubtedly lam; This problem’s very heavy on my mind, And I'm not one to either shirk or sham : I won’t be blinded, and I won’t be blind I Now let me see : First; I would know how did I get in there ? Then, where was I of yore ? Besides, why didn’t I get out before ? Bless me! Here are three puzzles (out of many more), Enough to give me pip upon the brain ! But let me think again. How do I know I ever was inside? Now I reflect, it is, I do maintain, Less than my reason, and beneath my pride, To think that I could dwell In such a paltry, miserable cell As that old shell. Of course I couldn’t! How could I have lain, Body, and beak, and feathers, legs, and wings, And my deep heart's sublime imaginings, In there ? I meet the notion with profound disdain ; It’s quite incredible ; since I declare (And I’m a chicken that you can’t deceive) BVicrt I can’t understand I won’t believe. Where did I come from then ! Ah ! where indeed ? ' This is a riddle monstrous hard to read. I have it. Why, of course, All things are moulded by some plastic force Out of some atoms somewhere up in space, Fortuitously concurrent any how : There, now! That’ plain as is the beak upon my face. What’s that I hear ? My mother cackling at me 1 Just her way— So prejudiced and ignorant, I say— So far behind the wisdom of the day ! What’s old I can’t revere. Hark at her 1 “ You’re a little fool, my dear, That’s quite as plain, alack ! As is the piece of shell upon your back !” How bigoted ! Upon my back, indeed ! I dou’t believe it’s there, For I can’t see it: and Ido declare, For all her fond deceivin’, W/tal I can’t see I never unit believe in,” VISIT “ I never did like mutton with capers,” Brown said, as he brushed his clothes after an attack from a ram. Civil Service Examinations. —We understand that the following arithmetical question was recently set to a candidate for a diplomatic appointment:—“ If four clerks could copy a despatch of twentyfour pages in three days, how many days would it take six clerks to copy a despatch of thirty-six pages 1” The candidate finding some difficulty in answering this according to the ordinary rules of arithmetic, seat up the following diplomatic reply ; —“ With reference to tins question, it appears to me that the answer must depend entirely upon what kind of fellows the clerks were; for within my own limited experience of the service, I could undertake to select six who would never finish it at all.” We are happy to be able to state that the Civil Service Commissioners immediately recommended this gentleman to the Prime Minister for a secretaryship of legation. TE ARO HOUSE SALE A Presentation. —An ignorant m iu England, who for some reason v elected to make a presentation to t parish clergyman ou behalf of < parishioners, made a little speech, iu wh: he thought to enforce his flattering marks by a Scripture quotation, spoke warmly of all the parson’s meri his diligence and his eloquence, and fina rose to a climax—“ln fact, sir, to use I words of the Apostle Paul, you are j 1 like sounding brass and a tinkli cymbal 1” WITHOUT DELAY.