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New Zealand Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 4998, 31 March 1877, Page 1 (Supplement)

The Force of Habit —The country is approaching a great crisis in its destiny ; every minute is precious to those who bear the burden of responsibility, and yet the average patriot, with all these momentous issues trembling in the balance, will lift his shoulder from tho wheel, grab his hat, and slide round the corner at the mere utterance of tho magic word, “Drink!” A Convenient Found.—A man went through the Bankruptcy Court. He had owned a fine horse and gig. and they both disappeared for a time, but by-and-by the horse and gig were doing service for the same owner again. On being asked what this meant, the man’s reply was, “ I went through the Bankruptcy Court, but the horse and gig went round.” A Fool’s Advice.—When Leopold, Duke of Austria, was about to invade Switzerland, he held a council of his nobles, at which the court jester was present. After matters had been arranged for the march of the array, the Duke asked the jester what he thought of their deliberations. “ Just what I thought of tho mouse we caught last night,” said he; “ everyone told you how to get into the trap, but no one said a word about getting out.” Brevity in Business.—A venerable and much respected pedagogue in the west, having required a supply of porter, entered the shop of a dealer in that commodity, when the following brief dialogue ensued: —"PorterV”—“Yes, sir." “Good?”—“Yes, sir.' “ Six dozen.” Advice to Mothers!—Arc you broken in your rest by a sick child suffering with the pain of cutting teeth ? Go at once to a chemist and get a bottle of Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup. It will relievo tho poor sufferer immediately. It is perfectly harmless and pleasant to taste, it produces natural, quiet sleep, by relieving the child from pain, and tho little cherub awakes “as bright as a button.” It soothes the child, it softens the gums, allays all pain, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, and is the best! known remedy for dysentery and diarrhoea, whether arising from teething or other causes. Sold everywhere at Is. lid. per bottle. Manufactory 403 Oxford-street London.—[Adyt