WHAT THE WORLD SAYS.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXII, Issue 4953, 6 February 1877, Page 3

WHAT THE WORLD SAYS.

(By “ Atlas.”) As more than one preposterous paragraph, professing to describe the position, &c., of Colonel Valentine Baker at Constantinople, has gone the rounds of the Press, it is advisable to give some authentic information on the matter. Colonel Baker has not, up to the present time, accepted service in the Turkish army; and consequently has not been able to forward the views of the numerous applicants—one hundred and fifty—to serve under him. His whole time has been taken up in elaborating a plan for the defence of Constantinople, which he had laid before our own military authorities in July, and which is now receiving their most serious attention. This plan he has also urged upon the Turkish Government, and it is very favorably regarded by the Sultan; but want of money at present prevents any decided action. Should Russia take up a position hostile to the views of the English Government, and attack the integrity of the Ottoman Empire, Colonel Valentine Baker will probably accept the position of a lieutenant-general on the staff of the Turkish army in the field. The Duke of Connaught is winning golden opinions in Leinster. On a late occasion his Royal Highness took part" in an entertainment given by the' officers of the Ist Battalion of the Rifle Brigade at Dublin, and consented to support a flute performance bn the pianoforte, as well as to play an accompaniment to Mrs. Ward Bennet’s song, “ Only.” I knew that : the Sailor Brince handled the violin like an ■ angel or sweet William, but I confess it was a surprise •to me that Brince Batrick Arthur could stretch an octave on the ivories. 1 Theatrical criticism is looking up. I was at a.performance the other night in a house not a hundred miles from the Strand—and a shocking bad performance it was—when I overheard a “ dramatic cricket,” as Artemus Ward used to call them, say, “If I had paid 'for my stall I would hiss this performance.” When the time came I looked in the paper for which that “ cricket ” writes, and was delighted to find that, though a strict appreciation of justice had closed his lips, the same appreciation had guided his pen. Mr. H. J." Byron has not been so fortunate of late in his titles. “Old Bals” may be very amusing to and understood of the histrions who frequent the Strand public-houses, but to the respectable playgoer it is likely to be unintelligible, if. not offensive. Ere the dust gathers on. the number of the Fortnightly just laid upon the shelf—an excellent. number, by the way—let us take it down to glance once more at the “ Future of Bolitical Economy,” by Mr. Stanley Jevons. Mr, Jevons is showing that the laws of the science are so simple as to admit of universal application ; and he instances a proceeding of the indigent Eskimo, who, when a neighbor has two boats, often borrows one and forgets to return it, ■ It is quite right to avoid personalities, else there was no need to go as far as" the Bole for an illustration of this infirmity. Then he goes on; “The'elements of value are present here as in the most complicated operations of our corn and stock exchanges, . . . .. One boat is very useful, if not essential, to an Eskimo; a second boat is much less useful to a man who has already one boat—but it is highly useful if passed into the hands of a boatless neighbor.”. The rationale of borrowing without returning was never more neatly given ; and young Harry Hardup says that if this is political economy he means to go in for the science. His uncle, on the contrary, a most respectable man of property, wants to know why there is notan Act of to put down the “ Reviews.” Of course if the old gentleman would only , read on he would see that Mr. Jevons intends nothing against the established order of affairs; but he will not, “O, these philosophers !”—and it must be admitted that they have sometimes an alarming way of putting things “ for the sake of argument.” A few weeks ago I drew attention in these columns to the sad fate of Mdlle. who was done to death by an ill-mannered audience at Marseilles. lam now enabled to show in his own words what an actor suffers from a turbulent mob. A few nights ago a new revue was produced at the Taitbout Theatre in Baris. It was hissed from beginning to end, and the actors, were, jeered at and insulted by those most despicable of despicable beings the gonvmeux, who appear to have gone in full force with the determination of damning the piece. This of course concerned the popularity of the authors, and not that of the actors. However, ■ towards the end of the evening one of the performers, addressing tlie band of whitetied idiots, who were rioting, said, “ When are you going to leave off, you imbeciles ?” The result may be easily imagined. Next day the poor fellow sent a letter of apology to the Figaro, in which he states ; “For three hours the public amused themselves at the expense of the unfortunate authors and ourselves ; three hours of hell (d’en/er) tor everyone ! Then, seeing that the piece was foundering—let me use the word—and dragging down with it all the hopes of my comrades and myself, I became maddened, lost my head, and permitted myself to grossly apostrophise the audience.” I think every right-feeling person will regret with me that he apologised at all for words which were so admirably applied to such ruffians. As the Figaro justly observes in on the incident: 14 No one could blame a friend er relation who took immediate reprisals eu a mischievous gommeux who is utterly incapable of earning ten sous by his brains.” Not a bad description of what you may expect when you marry a maid from Galway ; a lawsuit with the father, a duel with the brother, and a milliner's bill with the bride.

A whisper has reached my ears that my old friend “ the Director of Studies” at the Oxford Military College has been offered a retiring pension. Sunt hie etiam sua preernia laudi / Dear me, dear me, how unequally merit is recognised in this world ! What have brains to do with a balance at your banker’s ? Here is poor little Lord Maidstone, who, as all the world knows, is the son of so literary and poetical a father, reduced to enlisting as a private soldier ; and there is a man said to have won on the turf this year alone £200,000, — not by backing horses ; quite the contrary—asking if he can get to Egypt without seatravel, as he has been told by his doctor that he must winter in a warm place, and would like to go to Egypt, which has been described to him as a warm and pleasant town, only he cannot abide the sea ! This advertisement, from the Richmond and Twickenham Times, has been amusing me : “John Meath, 5 and 16, Heath-road, Twickenham, gives the highest price for old lumber, &c.; in fact, he will buy anything, from a house to pull down to a ship to break up. For sale, cheap, a second-hand tombstone.” Who on earth wants to buy a second-hand tombstone ? and who on earth, or rather beneath it, wants to sell one ? Is it possible that the owner has no further use for it ? If so, Mr. John Mills must be a spiritualist to be able to announce the " fact, and we must all believe in Henry Slade. Does not the following read like an unkind criticism on the Christmas stories ! ‘ Yarns dull—scarcely any demand,.’ It is gratifying to learn that the reference is merely to the cotton market. It is too bad that the pernicious system of hampers to boys at Eton, far! from being discountenanced, "‘is openly encouraged "by the heads of houses, as a means of supplementing the food supplied at their tables, which has to be further eked out by subsidies of pocketmoney, to enable the boys to obtain an extra supply outside. It is a matter of notoriety—and I defy contradiction on this point—that at some of the best Eton houses the food, if not scant in quantity, is of so uninviting a quality that the boys are 'driven, "as it were, to seek their breakfasts in the adjacent “tuck” shops; an alternative injurious to their health, and far from conducive to their moral improvement. There is another abominable abuse, in making boys now supply in a great part the furniture for their dormitories or rooms. Considering the high rate of board exacted, it really seems incredible that the masters can be so mean as to thus take advantage of the long-suffering good-nature of parents and guardians. Eton, I am sorry to say, is not the only public school at which these abuses are to be found ; but, for the most part, they have been put a stop to elsewhere. It is not often that “ we civilians ” can borrow an idea from the army having for its object the preservation, or at least.prolongation, of human life ; but here is one. Every man in the army, on joining, is provided with what is termed a medical history book. In this is noted down, from time to time, whatever ailment or sickness he may be subject to, together with its treatment. If a man leaves one regiment for another, or if a fresh doctor appears on the scene, this book at once affords a clue to the man’s past medical history ; so that, in treating him for any fresh illness, the medical man has something definite to go on as to his constitution and antecedents. I see no reason why this excellent plan should not be adopted in civil life. Everyone should have a medical history book, which should commence with our first ingress into the world, and he “ entered up ” by our medical attendants as we move on down the vale of life. It would, to say the least, often save much trouble and uncertainty when seeking to explain “our case ” to a fresh physician. I thinkl may authoritatively state that the objections to the marriage between Alfonso XII. of Spain and the third daughter of the Duke of Montpensier, the Infanta Maria las Mercedes, have been removed. The match is a well-assorted one in point, of age ; the Royal bridegroom is not yet twenty, and the blushing bride is in the clear dawn of sweet seventeen. Apropos of the youthful monarch, I may mention that he has accepted the honorary membership of the society established by the King of the Belgians for the exploration and civilisation of Central Africa. There is a fitness in this. Did not Dumas say that Africa commenced at the other side of the Byrenees.l Here is a hint for jurors ! ' At the Lord Mayor’s Court lately an honest juryman arose just before the commencement of a trial, and declined to be sworn on the ground that such a proceeding would not be binding on his conscience. A copy of the Act of Barliarnent on which to declare him was sought for, but the Guildhall Library is not extensive, and the Act was not to be obtained. After considerable delay counsel intimated that both parties to the suit were willing for the case to be tried by eleven. The solemn wink with which that juryman left the box'was touching, and his proceeding to Bimm’s to have oysters, proudly conscious of .having scored heavily, was as gall and wormwood to his deserted, eleven brethren. The Brince Imperial of , Austria is being sedulously prepared fdr his profession. He has passed an examination; on strategy and military history with good marks at Goedoelloe in presence of his father.. The questioning he was submitted to was pretty wide, extending from the campaigns of Julius Caasar to the FrancoGerman war., He made very" satisfactory answers ; but theoretical knowledge values little in these things, uqless it goes pari passu with practice. That has not been neglected either; for the hope of Austria has spent the autumn studying the battle-fields of Bohemia under the guidance of staff-officers, and honestly sharing in the manoeuvres at Bruck and Feldsberg. : ; . It is no joke to be tho, master of a pack of hounds, so-far as the matter of pecuniary outlay goes.. The subscription of members generally faffs short of the cost of maintenance, &c., and the expences accrue to the master. Sir Robert Bateson Harvey’s barriers, well known in the Windsor and Slaugh district, cost Sir Robert last year—that is, up to the present hunting-season, £4OO over and above the contributions of the subscribers tjo the pack, and yet the latter usually contribute upwards of £SOO. The average expenditure on a good kennel like Sir Robert Harvey’s, is reckoned at, from £BSO to £9OO per: annum.. ! Irish journalism is indeed bad to beat. The following is taken from the Freeman's Journal of the 27th ult.:—“ There. is now established in Dublin ah Orthopaedic Hospital, with a staff of two consulting, physicians, two consulting surgeons, and five dentists, solely devoted to the, treatment of those maladies, which will afford gratuitous relief to the suffering poor. Open daily from 9 to 10 a.m,” | Mrs. Harris—which I believe her name it Is _is ah entity, and has a local habitation and a najne. ' Wandering through- the corridors of Westminster Hall the other day, I solved the conundrum. She lives in the., same building i with the Admiralty Court, and takes charge of'the Stuff gowns and goat-hair wigs of sucking barristers; 1