WANTED TO SELL A BALD-HEADED MAN A HAIR BRUSH.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 4916, 23 December 1876, Page 2 (Supplement)

WANTED TO SELL A BALD-HEADED MAN A HAIR BRUSH.

A.long-waisted lady, having a seductive smile and winning ways, called upon a Detroit shoemaker yesterday to convince him that he needed a metal hair brush—a novelty just out and in the hands of canvasserß. After she had put in about five minutes talk, he uncovered his bald head, and asked:

" Where is there anything to brush with it?'' "Then your wife could use it," she said. "My wife is dead, poor soul." " Then your daughters." " I have no daughters, and the only son I have went crazy from brushing his hair too much." "I believe this brush would help a new growth of hair on your Bcalp," she said, unwilling to let him off. ".Don't want any hair there," he replied. " I was never so happy as since I, became bald-headed." " Well, don't you ever brush your scalp?" " Never. I have it sand-papered four times per year, and the rest of the time it must get along the best it can.", "I am in great need of money," she remarked, as Bhe looked around the shop. "So am I," he replied, as he pegged away. "I haven't seen but three dollars in the last two weeks." "It would almost be an act of charity to buy of me," she pleaded. " I never give to charity, madam. I haven't given a shilling to anyone, or to any object, for the last thirty years." " Your second wife might want the brush." "I shall never marry again. I hate all women." "Then yon don't think you could use it ?" she asked as she rose up ; " Yes, I could take i't and brush my dog's ears clean back to hi 3 tail, and brush his tail clean over his nose, or I could make it over into a snow-shovel, or sell it to some sawmill, or repair my wheelbarrow with it, but I said ' no,' and I shall stick to it. lam bald-headed, ugly-tempered, sinful, malicious, and desperate, but I pride myself in keeping my word ; and, madam, if metal hair-brushes, and bald headed men, and female agents were as thick as button's on a girl's dress my thunderous voice would still cry ' N-o-u-g-h—no !'" Detroit Free Press.