THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 4809, 21 August 1876, Page 2

THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

(From the New Zealand Mail.) Quis scit an adjiciant hodiernse crastina sumnue Tempera Di Superi.— Horace. My landlady has got a new lodger. Coming home the other night I became aware of sounds of monotonous talking in what newspaper reporters would call “ the direction of the kitchen.” Having asked my landlady what it meant, she said it was “a gentleman as had just taken rooms,” and that he was one of “ them pussons as makes speeches in an ’ouse.” Going to the kitchen I found, as I am a living sinner, the honorable member for Nomatterwhere repeating his speech of the' previous" evening on the separation resolutions, for the benefit of a German housemaid and an Irish cook. He had been.near somewhere where they gold spirits, and carried the aroma about with him. Half his audience did not understand a single word he said, and the other half had gone fast asleep, but he droned on as contentedly as if the Speaker and a quorum of twenty were present.

Compositors are satirical by nature. I will never believe that the peculiar wording of the following advertisement, which appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald of July 29, was accidental :—“ Dr. S. P. Townsend’s aromatic Hollands tonic, prepared with the same care and kill as his celebrated sarsaparilla.” I fancy that Dr. Townsend will not consider it flattering either to his aromatic Holland’s tonic or to his celebrated'sarsaparilla to have it stated that they are prepared “ with kill.” There have been several opinions expressed about the Hon. Mr. Bowen’s speech. Mr. Rees took an early opportunity of expressing his. Immediately after the delivery of thespeech he met one of the Government Whipsin the lobby and said of it, “ Well it was gentlemanly: and that is about all that can be said of it.” The whip was equal to the occasion, for he answered, “ and that is precisely what cannot be said of yours.” A ratepayer writes to say that he saw, a paragraph the other ‘ evening congratulating the City Council because they had made the footpath in front of Te Aro House, Mr. Smith’s drapery shop. A ratepayer wants to know when the City Council will deserve congratulations for making a certain footpath for which 23 people, who pay ten times as much rates as Mr. Smith, have been petitioning during a year or more? And he also wants to know why Mr. Smith should be favored in the matters of footpaths ? This is really a matter I do not profess to understand, but nevertheless I can give a good answer to the last part of the question. Mr. Smith deserves a footpath because he advertises so much. To some people this answer may seem inconsequential, but to me and other champions of journalistic honor it is quite satisfactory. A dreadful rumor reaches me, namely, that things are not so pleasant between Sir George Grey and the Auckland patriots as they might be. Sir George says Auckland must not yield to tyranny, that he will continue without compromise to demand her rights, and that though he will meet with refusal he and those who support him conuot fail to receive the applause of posterity and the approval of the whole human race. To which the patriots reply that no doubt the applause of posterity and the approval of the whole human race are remarkably fine things, but what about the welfare of Auckland? She can scarcely progress on either of the two supports mentioned. And they further say that as for themselves they are not pecuniarily independent of -Auckland as Sir George Grey is, so that they can scarcely afford to sacrifice her interests, even though they should obtain by that sacrifice the applause of posterity and the approval of the whole human race.

I am afraid that those who control Bellamy's would not make good conductors of an hotel. Would any landlord, because three or four people owed him some money for some time, be foolish enough to send a circular to every frequenter of his house requesting prompt payment? And yet this is what the Bellamy authorities have done. It appears that certain patriots have gone tick to the tune of £7OO, and instantly a Humber of gentlemen who never, as the saying is, stuck up a drink at Bellamy’s in their lives, are notified that “really you know this kind of thing” (meaning the tick) “ cannot be allowed to go any further.” Would it he competent for a member to move for, and obtain,, a, return of the Bellamy defaulters ? Such a document would, possess undoubted features of interest..