THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

New Zealand Times, Volume XXXI, Issue 4773, 10 July 1876, Page 3

THE INTELLIGENT VAGRANT.

(From the New Zealand Mail.)

Quis sell an adjiciap.t hodiernaa craatina aunumo Tempora Di Superi.—Horace. About the most novel compliment 1 have heard was paid in my presence on Tuesday night. The Colonial Treasurer had just finished delivering his Financial Statement. Says A to B, “ Why Vogel is only going to borrow a million and a quarter, though Mendax some time ago said he was going to borrow six millions.” Says Bto A, “You can’t complain after all, Mendax told nearly a quarter of truth, a percentage hitherto unprecedented in his utterances.”

A concert was recently given in Wairarapa on behalf of a church. The admittance charge was five shillings. One person who paid his money and : attended went out during the evening for a drink. On returning he found that the concert had terminated and a dance was going on. He presented his ticket, but was told that the saltatory portion of the tertainment was intended solely for the enjoyment of “ the gentry” of the district, and that the preceding concert had been intended for the amusement of the vulgar, and in full satisfaction of their several five shillings. He was refused admittance, and is now looking out for the gentry, but, alas, is like the Scriptural gentleman, seeking rest and finding none. Sir George Grey’s eloquence occasionally merges into bathos. On Thursday evening he told how the Maori Kingites had recently sent him an embassage in the shape of one old woman, “ and, Mr. Speaker,” said Sir George, “so impressed, sir, was I with the importance of the occasion, so much did I feel the vast consequences to the human race and posterity that were pending, that, sir, I was afraid to meet her alone.” He should have added “ and unprotected.” An eminent historian, now in Wellington, has been attending tbe sittings of Parliament since the session opened, in the hope of improving himself. The result has not been perfectly satisfactory, I fancy, for the other night I asked what ho thought of the debates. “ Well,” he made answer, “my reading has told of the existence once on a time of a Bareboues Parliament. My personal experience has brought me in contact with one that may be well termed a Jawbones Parliament.” In a supplement to a paper published this week I notice an advertisement from the Education Board of the province of Wellington notifying an approaching examination of teachers. With refined irony, the printer has placed the advertisement under the appropriate heading “ Coaches.” I hear from Auckland that a statue of Sir George Grey is about to be erected there by public subscription. Mr. Andrew, M.H.R., has kindly supplied an appropriate inscription, taken from Tacitus, and running as follows ; “In nullum reipublicie usum ambitiosa loquela inclaruitor, translated, “He became celebrated for an affected and ambitious verbosity, attended with no advantage whatever to the State.”

Paterfamilias may be credited with a pun. There was a very aristocratic ball here not many days ago, at which were present some gentlemen belonging to what Mr. Willett, senior, would call the “ miliugtary” profession. Their status in their profession, and the nature of the affair itself, required their attendance at the ball in uniforms and spurs. The rowels of their spurs were not made of the small gold coins which years ago in the old country were proper “ form” on such occasions. On the contrary, the rowels under notice were made for use as well as for show. The consequence was a fearful ripping up of book muslin, tarletane, and even more expensive materials. The daughters of Paterfamilias on the morning after the ball mentioned this matter with sorrow, as having suffered in the hems and lower tucks of their dresses. Said Paterfamilias promptly, “It is evident that our latter day Bayards are not sans spur, or they would be sans such reproche as I now hear. . A horrible liberty was taken with the name of a most worthy gentleman recently. Two visitors to, let us say Quatre Bras, met casually at the hotel they were stopping in a most convivial and companionable gentleman. They passed the evening, the night, and not a little portion of the morning in the most pleasant manner, and were parting under circumstances of mutual satisfaction, when the convivial and companionable gentleman told the visitors that he occupied the responsible position of governor of the gaol, and would be most happy to see them both at breakfast at his private residence that morning, when, in order to suit the present occasion, breakfast would be at half-past ten o’clock, and would include some magnificent bottled porter. The visitors accepted the invitation, and presented themselves at the gaol the following morning, when it is needless to say they found that their companion of a short time previously had been telling them untruths. The horrible portion of the story is, though, that the governor of Quatre Bras Gaol is a strict teetotaller.